Wow. I haven't been this pissed off in such a long time.
I'm fucking shaking. I punched the wall a few times as well...which I regretted immediately after. I can barely type with that hand now. It's been longer than I can recall since I raised my voice in anger or ill will. I don't even yell at my parents when I get into fights with them.
I am seething. Seething...that kind of connotes an image of an overwhelming pressure building up inside of you. The pressure is from trying to contain yourself; expressing your anger outwardly is a taboo tendency of people, after all. It's just not right. It's always better to be the civil and collected one. As long as you can maintain that, you're the good guy.
But to seethe, I feel, refers to an intermediate state between complacency and full blown out rage. It's that point where you still have the ability to control yourself...but it could go either way from there. I am seething...seething through my teeth. The pressure has to be alleviated somehow, after all. However, when the problem cannot be immediately resolved, there is no safe way to relieve that pressure. I guess that's why they say we seethe through our teeth. If we let it out too quickly, it could easily ignite and the state of unadultered rage we always seem to have to try and avoid would manifest itself in a shocking display of swears, physical destruction, and a complete collapse of sanity for that brief moment. If we clench our teeth, that release of pressure feels controlled, perhaps.
I see red. Not literally, of course. I refer to the expression of having your thoughts clouded by that pressure building up within. This pressure caused by anger and disappointment seems to be the mortal archenemy of logic and reason. At that moment they seem so distant when really, you need them most. It is one of those circumstances we must all surrender to and accept the discontentment. The absence of logic and reason causes things to become less clear. Vision is blurred. You cannot control your thinking. Connections devoid of rationality are made. It is not your vision itself that sees the red. That is a manifestation of the chaos flowing freely through your mind.
I am shaking. Like a steam engine dangerously close to its threshold limit, this anger that we have abstracted as a pressure building up inside our bodies threatens to overtake our sense of self-control and decency. What is there more to say on this? I'm not afforded any release from this pressure but the hard way out. No satisfactory options are left.
I am defeated. I must sit here with teeth clenched, vision cloudy and body shaking.
Don't worry man, LC is strong and I don't think she did it. Justin Bobby will forgive Audrina too. And I really think Audrina will get make up with LC eventually.
I dunno man did you see the previews with audrina's friend that isn't regular cast? Audrina was like "should i apoligize to lauren?" and the girl just looks at her and Audrina goes "YOU REALLY THINK I SHOULD APOLIGIZE DONT YOU!" meaning she wont or will have a really hard time doing it. I imagine this drama lasting for the next 3-4 episode minimum and then it will be super awk. Lauren is a really strong girl i have alot of respect for her for having to deal with that. I also think Justin Bobby has matured a lot and really cares deeply about Audrina - i don't think he will cheat on her anymore like he did with all her friends last year.
Ok, thank you Kennigit, finally sum1 says it tru. What DOES that mean? "...she's good," Did he mean that she was 'taken' or 'available'? Sheesh! I just dont get a word that guy utters! And they weren't 'man capri's' as much as -finger quotes- cool, man cut-off-pants that you wear with your-cool-man-boots. Any way you say it....he's stoopid. also, lmao @ man capris. TY for that! She's real good? What kind of crap was that. JB is a friggin mess.
I feel so bad for Speidi lmao. They have no friends and they are so young, what a waste. Heidi is a crackhead. Why am I hooked on this shyyt? Thank u Fafa! What makes me so mad is that all he talks about is loyalty...ALL THE TIME!!! And then he gives Heidi an ultimatum about her sister! How does that make sense at all?! i AGREE Brody and LC should get back together!!!!!!!!
i dont care what anyone says i think Justin bobby is hot! but he is stupid and she needs to get over him. The new guy Cory was soo hot 2 and seemed like he would treat her good.
What is friendship? What is romantic love? Are the two really so different? And does Lauren's inability to truly accept Heidi back into her life reveal her to be afraid, ultimately, of her own overwhelming emotions? Catching Heidi is like trying to pin a wave upon the sand, and what Lauren fears, above all things, is being out of control.
All I know is: If it weren't for that Spencer, they'd be together.
EPT
