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There is this girl that I met 13 years ago (when I was 3rd grade). The three years I was in the same class with her is probably the best part of my life so far. She is so charming, every time I got to sit next to her (and this happened quite a lot, thank you teacher (?)) I just couldn't control myself. It felt like I was overwhelmed with emotions, my face would turn red, my heart beat really fast, my mouth completely shut (now that I think about it, I don't think I even had a talk with her!!!). I still remember clearly the time she asked to borrow my eraser. That soft voice, the eyes... I just nodded and let her take it.
She's also literally the girl of my dreams. I've lost count of how many times I've dreamed about her. Probably 20 or more. I've met hundreds of girls after all these years, but no one makes me feel like she did. There were some girls who make me feel a little nervous around them, but the feeling never last long; I kinda lost interest soon after.
She is definitely the bright part of my not-so-bright life, so far.
Anyway, so why I'm writing all this?. Because I've just found out I could finally see her again! (after we went to different middle schools 10 years ago). So her father (a famous musician) is holding a small concert in a coffee shop, and I've been told that she, her mom and her big sister might be there.
I'm a bit clueless right now. What should I do? If I don't do anything, I might have to wait another month to see her again (this concert is a monthly thing). But if I do anything, and considering what an idiot I am, I'll probably mess up and ruin everything, including my dreams. This is why I need your help!. In about 10 hours from this post, the concert starts. I'll check back to this blog later, and if nothing useful has been posted by then, I'll probably just observe her silently like a hopeless stalker.
*update* (March 30, 2013)
She didn't show up. Or I couldn't find her, despite looking everywhere the whole 2 hours. Well at least I got to see her famous father in person. Though the classical music weren't really my type.
Guess I'll have to wait til next month. Sorry for the disappointment 
+ Show Spoiler +
*update 2* (April 26, 2013)
One month passed by. Here I am again. Still no sight of her. God damn. The music this time is better though. Next time maybe I'll just ask her dad, but that sounds too creepy.
 
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are you even friends? Have you not approached her in 13years?
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Wow 10 years. I don't even understand how people can meet someone like that in 6th grade that they don't find someone they like more in 10 years.
That's a lot of time for people to change. Or for you to learn more about them.
I don't know how she'd react to a friend from 10 years ago just happenstance showing up either. Like if someone from 10 years ago told me they had stalked or asked a friend about me to find out where I were going, it'd be kind of weird. Go in with an open mind. Much has changed. I can't predict what will happen and I doubt you can either.
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Just go and don't make it a point to talk to her, just get in her line of sight and if your eyes lock and a glimmer of recognition shines bright, ask her if she wants to have kids.
But really, it isn't too weird to remember your first "crush". Heck, my first crush was my 6th grade lab partner, and I was creepy enough to look her up on facebook years later to find out she is now a hairdresser with 2 kids.
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Just be talk to her and try to be friendly. Listen to what she says and sit with her if you can. If things are going well and you feel like she's enjoying your company, maybe ask her if she wants to get together to do something. Not sure what else I can add besides this really generic advice.
Good Luck, anyways!
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On March 29 2013 12:00 Garnet wrote:
I still remember clearly the time she asked to borrow my eraser.
+ Show Spoiler +
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Some necessary questions to be asked:
1. Were you two even friends?
2. The last time you saw her was when you were 11-12, now you're 21 - 22. Her too. Does that sound distantly awkward to you?
Honestly, if someone I last saw 10 years ago as kid came up to me and tried really hard to get to know me or maintain contact in the future, I'd be a bit creeped out. Not so creeped out if we were once friends, but if not, then the creepiness factor is there.
Strategy:
First, know that 10 years from a 12 year old to a 22 year old changes a person dramatically. At one point the person could've been a sweet little kid whose smile makes you burst in sunlight and lucky charms. That same kid can easily turn into an obese, hippie, emo, high-maintenance slob. More likely or not, this little girl of sunshine of yours turns out to be a regular woman. Prepare to be disappointed.
If you were friends, and I mean friends, not the "Can I borrow your eraser" friends, then you have something to approach her and initiate conversation/contact. Use that. 10 years of separation is A LOT to talk about.
If you were not friends, and it seems like she was at most your "Can I borrow your eraser" friend, then I wouldn't even try to use what little history you two had. Instead, approach her like any other woman you never knew. If you manage to this, then continue contact/conversation. Later on, "casually" bring up where you went to elementary school, act surprised that she did too. Mention teacher's name, and hopefully she'll either ask "I don't remember you" or something along the lines of "where was your desk?" Let her realize the "surprise" fact after.
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On March 29 2013 12:10 obesechicken13 wrote:
Wow 10 years. I don't even understand how people can meet someone like that in 6th grade that they don't find someone they like more in 10 years.
That's a lot of time for people to change. Or for you to learn more about them.
I don't know how she'd react to a friend from 10 years ago just happenstance showing up either. Like if someone from 10 years ago told me they had stalked or asked a friend about me to find out where I were going, it'd be kind of weird. Go in with an open mind. Much has changed. I can't predict what will happen and I doubt you can either.
This is how I think about it, until the last paragraph. You need to talk to her, don't romanticize about who she is. She isn't Helen of Troy dude, just talk to her. I don't just sit there, do something Casanova.
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On March 29 2013 12:50 BirdKiller wrote:
Some necessary questions to be asked:
1. Were you two even friends?
2. The last time you saw her was when you were 11-12, now you're 21 - 22. Her too. Does that sound distantly awkward to you?
Honestly, if someone I last saw 10 years ago as kid came up to me and tried really hard to get to know me or maintain contact in the future, I'd be a bit creeped out. Not so creeped out if we were once friends, but if not, then the creepiness factor is there.
Strategy:
First, know that 10 years from a 12 year old to a 22 year old changes a person dramatically. At one point the person could've been a sweet little kid whose smile makes you burst in sunlight and lucky charms. That same kid can easily turn into an obese, hippie, emo, high-maintenance slob. More likely or not, this little girl of sunshine of yours turns out to be a regular woman. Prepare to be disappointed.
If you were friends, and I mean friends, not the "Can I borrow your eraser" friends, then you have something to approach her and initiate conversation/contact. Use that. 10 years of separation is A LOT to talk about.
If you were not friends, and it seems like she was at most your "Can I borrow your eraser" friend, then I wouldn't even try to use what little history you two had. Instead, approach her like any other woman you never knew. If you manage to this, then continue contact/conversation. Later on, "casually" bring up where you went to elementary school, act surprised that she did too. Mention teacher's name, and hopefully she'll either ask "I don't remember you" or something along the lines of "where was your desk?" Let her realize the "surprise" fact after.
Don't try to pretend you don't remember her, because you obviously do. If you remember someone from a long time ago, there's no good reason to hide it, it doesn't have to be creepy unless you make it creepy by saying something creepy. Like saying you've had a crush on her since elementry school. That would be creepy.
But also remember she's just another girl. She's not some awesome person just because you knew each other years and years ago. Fantasizing ideals will not make you more successful, and will only set you up to probably be dissapointed.
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I dont really have any adivce, but after reading this im certainly rooting for you dude.
Good luck!
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Absolute worst thing you can do is believe she's perfect. Nobody is, and you will only be disappointed. It's the #1 pitfall in potential relationships.
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Well, you are going to a concert, so it should be easy enough to introduce yourself as an ancient classmate (you can bring up some event or story from the class; "everyone hated ms. Roseberg"/"the time jimmy put a warhead up his nose/ "I miss the class bunny rabbit do you remember him?"). Then you can easily segue into talking about music (the concert part), what she thinks of what they are playing. This easily leads into talking about music in general, which could keep you going forever if you are both enthusiasts. Or if not then its easy to move into other topics, how music has changed over time, pop culture, bands, and into basically whatever.
Hopefully she is as amazingly interesting as you seem to think she is.
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On March 29 2013 14:33 DMTsyncope wrote:
I dont really have any adivce, but after reading this im certainly rooting for you dude.
Good luck!
Seconded! GOGO! 
Also I'm really, really thankful that this wasn't the OTHER interpretation of 13 years. Yeah.
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Seems like there is nothing between you so also nothing to ruin. Just go for it dude
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Damn 13 years, I'd say fuck it, take all the guts that you have left and say it to her face and react from there. Go start your conquering campaign dude. You have nothing to lose.
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On March 29 2013 12:50 BirdKiller wrote:
Some necessary questions to be asked:
1. Were you two even friends?
2. The last time you saw her was when you were 11-12, now you're 21 - 22. Her too. Does that sound distantly awkward to you?
Honestly, if someone I last saw 10 years ago as kid came up to me and tried really hard to get to know me or maintain contact in the future, I'd be a bit creeped out. Not so creeped out if we were once friends, but if not, then the creepiness factor is there.
Strategy:
First, know that 10 years from a 12 year old to a 22 year old changes a person dramatically. At one point the person could've been a sweet little kid whose smile makes you burst in sunlight and lucky charms. That same kid can easily turn into an obese, hippie, emo, high-maintenance slob. More likely or not, this little girl of sunshine of yours turns out to be a regular woman. Prepare to be disappointed.
If you were friends, and I mean friends, not the "Can I borrow your eraser" friends, then you have something to approach her and initiate conversation/contact. Use that. 10 years of separation is A LOT to talk about.
If you were not friends, and it seems like she was at most your "Can I borrow your eraser" friend, then I wouldn't even try to use what little history you two had. Instead, approach her like any other woman you never knew. If you manage to this, then continue contact/conversation. Later on, "casually" bring up where you went to elementary school, act surprised that she did too. Mention teacher's name, and hopefully she'll either ask "I don't remember you" or something along the lines of "where was your desk?" Let her realize the "surprise" fact after.
To answer your questions:
1) Sadly I don't think we were friends. Just two ppl who happen to sit next to each other a lot (and the desks were double, so we were kinda "desk partner").
2) It does sound a bit awkward, yes.
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*will update after I get back from the concert*.
Thank you everyone for rooting for me, I guess I'll have to see if she's changed or not. 11 years is too damn long, yeah.
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good luck. Ask her out or something. But for god's sake give up your obsession if you don't get a result.
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If you say your life is shit, then do something about that and don't let illusion fool you into trying to make your life better, by meeting an old crush of yours. If you're an insecure and indecisive loser now, why the fuck would the hottest chick in town want to hold your penis, right?
I'm not trying to be mean, just reasonable. Sorry if you feel otherwise.
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Crushed dreams from failing don't hurt nearly as much as the burden of regret.
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EPT
