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So I have a group of about 5 really close friends, other than that there are people that I talk to at school but I probably wouldn't ask them if they want to do anything out of school. We're all about 18 now. (At this point you may be able to tell I am not a writer :o). Ok here is the problem; I recently met a girl at a party, (I say recently it was about a month ago) so I was talking to her there and we've been talking on facebook/skype/text etc since then. I get the feeling that she likes me and I get along with her.
In between meeting her and now I found out that one of my friends has been talking to her for a while longer because their families had been friends. And it turns out that he's been trying to get with her for a while longer than I met her. I would have definitely asked her out if I knew that my friend going for her. So Liquid Gurus what do you think i should do?
Two of my other friends had been in a situation like this except the person in my situation did ask her out and they don't talk anymore. (But that may have been because one of them goes to a different college now so they don't see each other anyway.)
I thought about just leaving the girl along so as not to cause a problem within our friendship group, but I can't speak confidently to girls most of the time, and she also starts conversations with me (while i'm trying to play sc >:| ) I i'm not the sort of person not to respond to someone. And i am definitely too passive to tell her to go away, if I wanted that, i'm not sure if I do.
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Remember that the girl is a person too and is capable of making her own decisions. She'll date whoever she wants to date, not whoever wants to date her.
If it turns out she wants to date you and not him, there's nothing to feel bad about so no harm in trying. That's how I would see it at least.
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On November 19 2011 01:42 Raikia wrote:
And it turns out that he's been trying to get with her for a while longer than I met her.
what is he waiting for?
ask her out or miss your chance, much like your friend is about to
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On November 19 2011 01:47 duncan.mc wrote:
Remember that the girl is a person too and is capable of making her own decisions. She'll date whoever she wants to date, not whoever wants to date her.
If it turns out she wants to date you and not him, there's nothing to feel bad about so no harm in trying. That's how I would see it at least.
although this is very true.. I'd talk to your friend. Is he still actively trying to get with the girl? How serious is his 'crush' or w/e? Ultimately you never want to date someone that creates conflict with your friends (unless you're ready to find new friends - nothing wrong with that).
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talk to your friend and explain the situation. Bros before Hoes
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Amen to that brother, Bros before Hoes.
I can't believe my luck today, this is the 5th girl blog I've read today.
Talk to your friend about it, let him know that if he doesn't give it a shot, you will. Fair enough. If he reacts negatively to this - like he wants you to f*** off his chick (although he hasn't succeeded yet) then he ain't your bro, the above rule does not apply. If he's cool with it and it's going to be fair game, then ok do what you gotta do. Whoever "wins" out of this, you guys better make it clear to the girl that you two (and others, if associated) are tight bros - you don't want to create awkward situations later.
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Hey man friends last longer than relationships, besides you're only 18. There are plenty of fish to catch out there in the world.
I've been in situations where my close friends would have the same problems as you.
My advice, either go after her and risk your relationship with your buddy. Close friends are hard to replace.
or let your buddies get at it and you can always find someone else. It's not impossible to find someone to be your partner, but depending on your actions. It might be easy or hard.
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your friend is a dork who hasnt made a move and that's his problem, and if he gets pissed that you made a move when he wouldnt for a months he's probably a loser that you shouldn't even waste your time talking to anyway
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OK thanks for the ideas guy i'll have a think about your suggestions 
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On November 19 2011 02:06 josemb40 wrote:
talk to your friend and explain the situation. Bros before Hoes
Yup totally agree, which is more important the girl you just met or your friend of x amount of years.
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Talk to your friend about it and tell him you give him one day to make a move. After that it's every man for himself.
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I'd just talk with your friend if he's ok with you making a move. I had a situation kinda like this earlier this year, I didn't talk to my bro, but I didn't go for it because I'd be pissed in my situation.
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On November 19 2011 03:49 hp.Shell wrote:
Talk to your friend about it and tell him you give him one day to make a move. After that it's every man for himself.
Yep.
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have you considered talking to her about it? She might have some good insight into the situation. But as others have said don't not talk to your friend about it, that's asking for trouble.
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Duel him on national television with foam tipped oars in spandex tights.
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On November 19 2011 03:49 hp.Shell wrote:
Talk to your friend about it and tell him you give him one day to make a move. After that it's every man for himself.
I like this advice. Do it.
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
On November 19 2011 02:18 Hawk wrote:
your friend is a dork who hasnt made a move and that's his problem, and if he gets pissed that you made a move when he wouldnt for a months he's probably a loser that you shouldn't even waste your time talking to anyway
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I think a battle to the death is appropriate. If that doesn't work, you could try rock, paper, scissors. Maybe consider that the internet is not a good place for advice about girls. Mostly, just be yourself and I'm sure you'll be fine.
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On November 19 2011 03:49 hp.Shell wrote:
Talk to your friend about it and tell him you give him one day to make a move. After that it's every man for himself.
Seconded. (or thirded or whatever)
I would maybe give him like a couple days. But really, if he's been into her for that long and he hasn't done anything, she seems fair game. Also, as people have mentioned before, the girl also plays a huge part in this since she will have the final say..
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EPT
