Why Team MVP Will RECLAIM the GSTL Championship

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neoghaleon55

United States7435 Posts

May 31 2012 06:39 GMT

MVP (team)

Danger Danger Danger!!
This is a warning to all StarCraft II teams and fans

Team MVP is coming

Not only are they coming for what's rightfully theirs: the GSTL Championship,
but they are out for blood!
Be warned, clear the roads,
or be trampled by the glory
that is the mightiest team in all the kingdoms of StarCraft II.

In case any of you have hit your head on the concrete pavement lately and have completely forgotten who Team MVP is, let me remind you:

In the second half of 2011 to early 2012, one only needs to utter the words "Team League," and a chilling fear will start creeping down the spine of all within range. "Why", you ask? Because where there is a Team League, Team MVP will appear to lay waste to all competitors. This team, historically, has slayed more nerds per time in existence than any other team in the GSTL. No one in their right mind can dispute that the latter half of 2011 and early 2012 completely belonged to Team MVP.

Want me to list their accomplishments?

[image loading]

: 2011 Global StarCraft II Team League May
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: 2011 Global StarCraft II Team League Season 1
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: 2012 KSL Opening Ceremonies

All in one short year.

I know the burning question on your mind:
"But Neoghaleon55, if Team MVP is so scary good, why didn't they win the 2012 GSTL Season 1?"

The answer is quite simple, really.
Team MVP was tired of winning so much. They had to take a backstep in order to allow the "other" starcraft teams to develop...or else there would be no competition...They are the reapers of the harvest and this season...the fruits are ripe for the taking!

So if you're a competing StarCraft II team out there... be warned!

THEY ARE COMING TO GET YOU!!

In the case that you are foolish enough not to need my warnings, here's what to expect. I will try to rank some prominent members of MVP according to how dangerous they are. The categories are:

Danger Category C. Will Destroy You.
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Awarded with 1 Danger Skull, these members are so strong, that even just looking at them will guarantee an auto loss in a StarCraft game. Staring at them for prolong periods of time will cause paralysis and or loss of control over bodily functions.

Tips for Victory: Close your eyes when you play StarCraft with them.

Danger Category B: Will Destroy You AND your Friends (including Surrounding Pedestrians).
[image loading]

Classified with 2 Danger Skulls, these members are viciously potent at dispatching opposing StarCraft players. Being anywhere within 10 meters of these members will automatically cause you to lose StarCraft games. The powerful auras these members exhibit will cause you to tremble with fear and awe.

Tips for Victory: It's best not to be in the same building, if it's a LAN event, it is better that you just forfeit.

Danger Category A: Will Destroy You AND your entire Village/Town/Apartment complex.
[image loading]

Deified with 3 Danger Skulls, these members are vats of pure victory essences. You do not need to look at one to lose, you do not need to be near one to lose...they only need to want you dead in their minds and you will lose. Class A players distort the very fabric of time and space itself. Oh, and they can make you pee your pants anytime they want.

Tips for Victory: Don't let them know you exist.

[image loading]

Dream is one of the youngest players in the league. He first qualified for Code A at the age of 14. Now, one year later, he's showing some impressive results in one of the biggest leagues overseas: MLG. Dream is known to have impressive TvZ, using hellions to push his advantages and holding baneling all-ins with superb bunker placements and unit control. During the 2012 Spring Arena 2, Dream would hand out defeats to big names such as (Z)

Idra 2:0,

Losira2:0, (Z)

Bly 2:0 and (Z)

Leenock 2:1. His TvT and TvP remains to be proven... Expect Team MVP to use Dream to snipe top Zerg players from opposing teams.

Danger Category: [image loading]

Keen wants you...to freaking DEAL WITH IT!!

(T)

Keen has been in Code S for a whooping total of FIVE times. His latest achievement includes taking matches from legends such as (Z)

NesTea 2:0 and (T)

MMA 2:1, on his road to Code S for the 2012 GSL Season 3. Keen is a well rounded player and was instrumental to Team MVP dominance during the late 2011 by defeating (Z)

BBoongBBoong and (T)

MarineKing in the Grand Finals of that era's GSTL. Keen specializes in TvT, so expect Team MVP to use him to snipe top Terran players from opposing teams.

+ Show Spoiler +

Danger Category: [image loading]

Ever since the early days of StarCraft II, (T)

sC has been a menacing force to recon with. His crowning achievement in 2011 was giving quite possibly the greatest semifinals match to date against (Z)

NesTea, barely losing a breathless final game in a best of 5 showdown. Recently his top achievements include 2012 GSL Season 1 round of 32, where he lost to his teammates (P)

Genius and (Z)

DongRaeGu...both of which ended up being the finalists of that Season. sC specializes in TvZ and is known for his aggressive openings which includes 2 rax pressure, SCV all-ins and hellion/marauder timings to throw off his opponents. However, his frequent usages of ploys will often make the opposing player cautious, often catching him in the act. Expect TeamMVP to deploy sC to take out macro oriented Zerg players who are not particularly well versed in handling early game pressure.

Danger Category: [image loading]

Lure is a recent addition to Team MVP and shows a lot of promise. He is currently placed in Code A for the upcoming 2012 GSL Season 3. His recent accomplishments includes defeating BroodWar Legend and former GSL finalist, (Z)

July, in his Up and Down matches, as well as booting former GSL finalist, (P)

Inca completely out of the GSL. Lure is able to play both a strong early game using impressive blink stalker control as well as long macro games which include the usage of the lategame mothership tech. Talented but still with a lot to prove, expect Team MVP to use Lure as the opening gambit in this Season.

Danger Category: [image loading]

If you have seen any of TriMaster's blog, or have met (P)

TAiLS in person, you will know that he's one of the nicest players in all of eSports. But don't let his happy demeanor and infectious smile fool you! TAiLS is a cold hard killer. You want to know what he did to team IM? Took out (Z)

NesTea! Yea, he did it.
Took out (T)

Mvp, too! All in one go! TAiLS was there when his team needed him most. His victories over the two GSL champions secured team MVP's road to the GSTL finals in the late 2011. Tails recently qualified for Code A in the 2012 GSL Season 3 by making it through the code B Preliminaries. Currently, TAiLS acts as team MVP's wild card. He sure is good enough to take down legends, but his results in the single leagues have not yet measured up. Because TAiLS isn't seen very much in the major leagues, it is impossible to prepare for his style of play. We can expected that team MVP will use TAiLS to confuse the opposition in opening gambits and in situations where no other player is able to snipe a very strong opponent.

Danger Category: [image loading]

If you watched the GSTL Season 1, then you know how much of a beast (P)

Finale is in the team league arena. Finale seems to be walking in big brother (Z)

DongRaeGu's footsteps, stomping nerds left and right on his road to fame. His notable achievements include the semi-all-kill of FXO by taking games off strong players such as (Z)

Leenock,

Oz and

GuMiho. In the playoffs, Finale would go on to defeat StarTale (T)

Sound before falling to eventual 2012 GSL Season 2 finalist, (P)

Squirtle. If there's one player to watch out for this season, Finale's the one.

Danger Category: [image loading]

]

Monster, along with his teammates Sniper and DRG, form the scarriest Zerg Trifecta in all of the GSTL. Monster first achieved notoriety by knocking the Present Protoss, (P)

MC, completely out of the GSL in mid 2011. Since then, Monster has not shown much impressive results until he recently, when he decided to go BEAST mode on everyone by getting 3rd place at DreamHack:Stockholm, All-killing team Evil Genius in IPL-TAC3, and qualifying for the upcoming season of code A. Monster is known to have strong mechanics and is capable of flanking the opposing army when they least expect it. His strongest matchup is ZvP. Expect Team MVP to use Monster when there's a Protoss that needs to be taken down.

Danger Category: [image loading]

Sniper is currently in Code S for the 2012 GSL Season 3 by defeating big names such as (P)

Avenge,

Curious and (T)

Bomber in his Code A run last season. Stylistically, Sniper frequently deploys roaches and mutalisks to control the midgame, much like his teammate DongRaeGu. Sniper has been so on fire lately that few people have started calling him DongRaeGu Jr... a big title to live up to...His strongest matchup is ZvP, where his winrate is over 70%! Team MVP will most likely call upon Sniper to "snipe" stronger Protoss opponents such as Squirtle and Parting.

Danger Category: [image loading]

This is it folks....

Team MVP's
ULTIMATE WEAPON

This player is so good that he defies categorization...

Nevertheless, I will try to give you some information about him as to warn you that going up against him would be about as hard as trying to tap dance on sand after taking 5 shots of hard vodka.

This Danger Category should really be:
Category "Oh #$%#!!": Will Destroy You, your friends, and everything you love and hold dear, including your teddy bear.

Tips for Victory: It is best to just drop your things and run.

[image loading]

Didn't this man just win an MLG Championship?
And an MLG Arena?
AND A GSL CHAMPIONSHIP?
All in the last THREE MONTHS?!

No fluff, if (Z)

DongRaeGu wants you to lose in Starcraft II, you WILL LOSE in Starcraft II, simple as that. This is the guy who single handedly destoyed the Zerg's matchup statistics in 2011. This year, he's been ripping nerd's heads off left and right by winning two major championships in world class star leagues. His immense StarCraft skils are nothing short of awe-inspiring, frequently breaking 600 EPM (effective actions per blizzard minute) which translates to an absurd ~800 APM (actions per minute) in real time. I'm not going to bother listing all the people he demolished because none of us likes to read walls of text, so instead I'm just going to
list his achievements in the last year or so.

+ Show Spoiler +

LG Cinema 3D Special League #1 DongRaeGu 3:2 (T)

Dreamhack Valencia Invitational DongRaeGu 3:2 (T)

ThorZaIN

GSL Arena of Legends DongRaeGu 1:4 (T)

MarineKing

[image loading]

Blizzard Cup DongRaeGu 3:4 (T)

MMA

2012 Arena of Legends: The King of Kongs DongRaeGu 4:1 (T)

LosirA

2012 FXOpen Invitational Series 5 DongRaeGu 4:0 (T)

MarineKing

[image loading]

2012 MLG Winter Arena DongRaeGu 2:4 (T)

MarineKing

[image loading]

2012 GSL Season 1 Code S DongRaeGu 4:2 (P)

Genius

2012 MLG Winter Championship DongRaeGu 2:5 (T)

MarineKing

[image loading]

2012 MLG Spring Arena 1 DongRaeGu 4:3 (T)

MarineKing

[image loading]

2012 MLG Spring Championship: Anaheim DongRaeGu 3:1 (P)

Alicia

Oh you guys want All-Kill list while we're at it?
Don't ask me to TLPD this shit, because I don't have the time...

+ Show Spoiler +

May 18th, 2011
Semi-All-kill oGs
Nada, SuperNova, MC

June 23, 2011
Semi-All-Kill Slayers
Boxer, Ganzi, MMA

July 7, 2011
Semi-All-Kill oGsTL
Nada, Hero, Cezanne

August 18, 2011
ALL-KILL PRIME
MarineKing, AnyPro, B4, Polt

September 23, 2011
Semi-All-Kill IM
Happy, YongHwa, Losira

January 3rd 2012
ALL-KILL StarTale
Parting, KingKong, Squirtle, Curious, Bomber

I'm going to come out and say it: the elephant in the Team League. The only reason why Team MVP did not win GSTL last season was because DongRaeGu had a bad day... The entire Team League thing is a farce that's totally dependent on whether DRG performs or not. It is setup to give the ILLUSION that there is actually a chance that any team that isn't MVP can win. But we all know the truth...look deep within yourselves....

you all know the final say in any Team League rests with DongRaeGu.

Danger Category: [image loading]

So that's it folks. Run for the hills!

THEY ARE COMING!!

********************************************************************************************************************************
Text and Photoshops by Neoghaleon55
Published by TeamLiquid.net

Disclaimer: This is an opinion piece, the content of which does not necessarily reflect those of TeamLiquid.net or its affiliates.

polyphonyEX

United States2539 Posts

May 31 2012 06:43 GMT

haha sick

opterown

Australia54784 Posts

May 31 2012 06:48 GMT

not bad

neoghaleon55

United States7435 Posts

May 31 2012 06:49 GMT

On May 31 2012 15:48 opterown wrote:
not bad

You bastard, that took a long time to write.
xD

I regret taking this job from you.
hahaha

bittman

Australia8759 Posts

May 31 2012 06:51 GMT

MVP (team)

=D!

Hoping for some Keen, sC, Genius and DRG ownage!

Looking forward to seeing more of their lesser knowns as well. I still don't really know what to make of Finale or Sniper.

And you didn't mention (P)

TAiLS or

Noblesse. They're both worth a mention also.

EDIT: Should at least throw up a full list of current players if you can.

Well written. There is an overuse of the word "destroyed" in places, but that's ok because it's MvP.

opterown

Australia54784 Posts

May 31 2012 06:53 GMT

On May 31 2012 15:49 neoghaleon55 wrote:

Show nested quote +

You bastard, that took a long time to write.
xD

I regret taking this job from you.
hahaha

hahaha team MVP fighting! my fxo thread didn't take that long o.O

Grovbolle

Denmark3805 Posts

May 31 2012 06:54 GMT

Very accurate valuation of DRG....
MVP MVP MVP

neoghaleon55

United States7435 Posts

May 31 2012 06:58 GMT

On May 31 2012 15:51 bittman wrote:
(Wiki)

TAiLS or

Thanks!

Um...both Tails and Noblesse have not done much lately...
I didn't care to give out more single skull danger categories.

I'll try to stick that wiki link in somewhere...