[BW Battle Report] Adventures in D Level #4

It’s a ZvT on Fighting Spirit. I’m in red so I’m forced to shift+tab+tab. I’m like a bull!

If bulls weighed 130 pounds, played video games all day, and watched My Little Pony.

Keeping my promise to myself of trying to learn how to play real games, I 12 hatch.

Look, drone timed perfectly to natural. Cool, I must be Jaedong or something.

I scout a fast 2 barracks. Now, I only started following Starcraft in late 2008 so this is totally not something I see ever.

“I couldn’t help but notice that isn’t a command center, ya weirdo.” - Drone

Continuing with my intentions to actually play standard, I make a third hatch! I think this the first time I’ve built a third hatch in about a year.

Oh how I missed you, vaguely disturbing eye thing.

Not knowing wtf a 2 barracks opening does or what it eats in the winter, I rush the shit out of 3 creep colonies.

”NooOOOb!” - Vaguely disturbing eye thing

Confused as drunk giraffe on a submarine, I peak up his ramp. There’s a ton of marines and an SCV there. Unfortunately I lose both lings and consequently am forced to shit my pants.

Not pictured: Drunk giraffe on a submarine.

Not to fear, I had a few more lings that I sent up to see whats up. They weren’t greeted nicely.

“Dear sunken colonies,

You’re fucked. Much apologies. Sincerely,

Zerglings.”

I prepare my counter-attack taskforce but it is busted by the other guy’s own “Kill the shit out of zerg” taskforce.

“To you, we sacrifice our most prized VirginLing. Now leave us alone.” - Counter-attack Taskforce

I was planning on going for the normal Mutalisks but I decided Lurkers would be better to defend this.

It was not until much later that I realized this didn’t make any sense at all.

My taskforce finally hits his main and starts kicking marines. I haven’t seen any sign of his army since I made my virgin sacrifice so I’m hoping it came back to defend.

”No, wait guys, you have to hear this funny joke.” - Desperate marines.

I found his army.

”Fuck.” - Me

I figured I would be in pretty good shape if that tank wasn’t there. So I take 12 lings and go at it.

Not pictured: Any degree of success.

Meanwhile, I still have quite few lings in his base.

”Don’t worry guys, we got the much less important tank.” - Le Task Force

I take another go at the tank, knowing I managed to kill the second tank already. Somehow this is even less successful than the first.

Zergling Ghosts: “Stop that please.”

Finally with a vulture and a few firebats, my taskforce is cleaned up. I’ve messed with the reinforcements but did no economic damage.

Not that he’s very concerned with his economy.

At that same moment, I’ve got a half completed sunken colony, two half completed creep colonies, and literally no army short of a handful of lings that are about to pop out.

Don’t worry about it, I got this.

Even though my hydra den has been finished for a long time, I just now manage to find time off from being awful to start that lurker aspect.

Overlaying the sunken’s health quite literally took me about 5 minutes. It’s because I’m just so talented at both Starcraft and graphic design!

At this point he’s sieging my natural hatchery so I’m pretty much completely boned now. But wait! What’s that? An unsiege?!

Pictured above: Some strange combination of pity and wtf.

So naturally I throw my army him and hope for the best!

”I can’t help but feel I’d be less dead in siege mode” - Tank

I lost all my lings but he’s pretty much cleaned up as well.

”I hate you both” - Indistinguishable pool of blood.

My Lurker aspect is getting closer to completion and I finally realize that I actually want a spire.

Only three minutes too late, not bad.

I move out with some lings, only to be met by the stupidest and weirdest looking army I’ve ever seen in my life.

I guess the standard transition from a fast 2 Barracks is the 3 Firebat + 1 Marine + 2 Medic + Vulture + a fucking Goliath mid game timing attack.

I end up retreating because Firebats are totally imbaimba. The second counter-attack task force (attask force?) prepares to move out. I guess they weren’t told what happened to the first one.

Or they figured it was better than just getting right-clicked on a siege tank and doing nothing.

Finally I start morphing in some Lurkers. At the same moment, my spire finishes.

You can tell my Spire’s done because I pasted a picture of it in the corner for reasons that completely escape me.

Just as my new Attask Force is ready to hit his main, his weirdo army shows up at my door, now accompanied by another siege tank.

At long last, my plan to break a tank contain with Lurkers is totally not unfolding.

I don’t watch my Attask Force so it unfortunately does a little more nothing at all than I had planned on.

Actually, I totally killed the shit out of that barracks. That’ll show him.

I super carefully position my lurkers in such a way that they will never help defend against anything.

Lurkers at a ramp are good for a lot of things but breaking a contain isn’t one of them.

Finally some mutas show up so I prepare for my second big bust attempt.

Obviously I’m afraid of his marine + medic + tank + firebat + vulture + goliath army, but I man up and get ready to go.

It’s a really funky looking battle, but I end up on the better end of it.

If you want I can coach you to macro as well as me.

At long last, I’m able to take a third. Meanwhile I poke around with my 4~ mutas.

Oh how I wish I had the Paint skills as whoever drew that mutalisk. TT Credit to Sushiman for making the picture and Oxidized for finding the source. =)

After sitting and macroing for a few minute, I push out on the map. He does the same (with another silly looking army) and we clash in the middle.

Its hard to play when you have to keep thinking “Why are these units together?! Wtf wtf wtf wtf …"

I once again got the better end of the fight but had to sit and macro a bit more before going for another attack.

I engage with my mutalisks and lurkers despite my hydras (AKA most of my army) having not caught up yet because I fuckin’ get it

It’s close but I manage to break his front.

All thanks to my pristine macro!

With an SCV pull he cleans me up and I’ve got no reinforcements streaming in, so it looks like he stabilized.

He didn’t, I’ve got a flock of imbaimbas on the way!

My imbaimbas hatch and he’s painfully short on things that shoot up.

So he dies.

Finally, he leaves the game without a GG.

I’m sure he was just angry that the game went past 8 minutes.