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- You could be mauled, killed, and eaten by a bear while alone in the woods for 10 minutes
- A suicidal driver could slam into you from the oncoming lane
- Your airbag could explode and kill you
- You could fall in the door of an elevator during a malfunction and get ripped in half as the elevator shoots down
- A schizoid could push you in front of a train
- Your airplane could have a fire during cruise, destroying the control systems
- A tree branch could fall on your head while you're walking and cause a fatal hemorrhage
- You could fall to your death in a sinkhole as the Earth randomly opens and swallows you whole
- You could choke to death while eating dinner alone
- You could be hit by someone randomly shooting cars
- You could have a fatal stroke from a secret aneurysm in your head right now that's just waiting to rupture
- You could be stabbed and hacked from behind with no warning
- You could be electrocuted to death while showering due to negligent wiring
- You could be crushed as the building you're in suddenly collapses
- You could get surprise cyanide poisoning from tainted aspirin
- You could drown in your own vomit because you drank and passed out on your back
But if you manage to survive all of this, then your reward is that assuredly, within 100 years at most,
- Your vital organs will be consumed by cancer
- Your immune system will disappear as your body succumbs to infection
- Your heart will fail
- You will stop breathing and die.
  
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What a jolly way to look at things
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On June 07 2016 16:06 solidbebe wrote:
What a jolly way to look at things
LOL This is exactly what I was thinking, this is a pretty awesome blog though lol.
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This PSA brought to you by:
I guess this is a good way of telling us that if you can read this blog you're fortunate to be alive.
Welp. Time to watch Final Destination again.
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Finland931 Posts
On June 07 2016 06:32 Jerubaal wrote:As I lay dying, I hope my last words are..... + Show Spoiler +
I hope my last words are "GG WP".
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Pretty sure my last words will be FML
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- there are no bears where I live
- my airbag is so old that it's very likely to have no filling at all
- elevator malfunctions of that kind are almost unheard of, the only risk is that the door opens to an empty shaft and just looking around you solves the risk
- nobody is ever randomly shooting cars within hundreds of kilometers of my home
- there is no electric wiring anywhere near my shower, it gets hot water from central supply
- I do not take aspirin
- I never drank so much that I'd vomit and I have no intention of doing so
Most of your death reasons are completely bogus, you are afraid of completely wrong things. The major cause of death in developed world is something like cardiac issues and stuff, not some random unlikely fantasies. Get a healthy lifestyle instead of worrying about elevators.
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Who said anything about fear? Relax, I'm not worried about falling through the floor at the top of an escalator and getting ground into hamburger by the industrial gears below. They say it's one of the most peaceful ways to go out.
Obviously something as specific as "drowning in your own vomit while inebriated" is less common than something as wide as "heart failure," which is inevitable as I mentioned.
Healthy people also all die. The reason you should want to be healthy is so you can be effective and do things in your life. Not because you want a heart that can deliver you safely to the ICU at 90 where you die of lymphoblastic leukemia.
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A schizoid could push you in front of a train You mean schizophrenic.
We schizoids don't kill people. We just don't like spending too much time around them.
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On June 08 2016 06:08 Nazara wrote:You mean schizophrenic. We schizoids don't kill people. We just don't like spending too much time around them.
Either way that's kind of inconsiderate and ignorant even. Schizophrenics rarely harm anyone but themselves. They basically feel very alone and afraid all the time.
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I for one applaud the bear who can justly defeat me in one to one close combat, and happily offer my flesh if it does so. For I am a human, and therefore am clever and have many tricks that a bear most constantly be wary of. It is the bear who lives in fear hoping for the glorious day it might defeat its hunter, and I who relaxes in front of the fire with the body of his very mother lying on my floor and warming my feet. When I grow old and my organs fail, I will be buried deep in the ground, or burned to ashes, and become immortally out of reach of all the bear's descendants who rue the one who took their great great great grandmother from the world. And so I laugh at you, bear, for I am obviously the superior creature.
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EPT![[image loading]](https://www.dandwiki.com/w/images/thumb/5/55/Grim_reaper.jpg/400px-Grim_reaper.jpg)
