Yes, at the age of 22, it's frustrating to still care so much about what people are thinking of me. I take one risk on facebook by posting about myself and talking to a friend, the adrenaline and the good feelings of like "OMG IM DOING SOMETHING NEW AND PUSHING OUT OF MY BUBBLE A LITTLE!" come and then I get up and move around and a new fear opportunity presents itself in the form of a girl walking by and all I can do is either go talk or retract into my shell... and obviously I have retracted into my shell again.

What a battle im fighting.

Roe

Canada6002 Posts

August 16 2013 02:24 GMT

I'm 23 and still in your position. Just take a chance! Take in the irony: STAY in your bubble, and you won't care about what other people think, all that will matter is in your head.

rel

Guam3521 Posts

August 16 2013 02:39 GMT

You already spent almost a quarter of your life giving a fuck. It's till to live your life and capture what you want it to be. It's your dream you gotta create it.

QuanticHawk

United States32044 Posts

August 16 2013 02:49 GMT

why post that on fb?? it's for pithy comments and making fun of your friends!

DarkPlasmaBall

United States44052 Posts

August 16 2013 03:19 GMT

It's okay- if not important- to care about what others think of you... but you just can't obsess over it and let it take over your entire life. Self-esteem is a pretty important criterion when trying to be happy, and both your perception of yourself and others' perceptions of you play roles in your identity.

You shouldn't be constantly changing yourself, at your own expense, to appease others, but having friends and being able to network properly are vital in society (and so, to a certain extent, it may not always be the best idea to try being that dark, brooding, loner kid who just doesn't give a fuck about anyone but himself). Trying new things can be pretty rewarding, and you don't need to hyperventilate over the outcome

Staboteur

Canada1873 Posts

August 16 2013 04:02 GMT

25, was in the same place when I was a bit younger, stopped caring what people thought about me a few years ago, and have since realized that if I don't care what people think of me, I'm only a few short steps from not caring whether or not anyone cares, and that's a scary place to be.

It sounds asinine when I put it like that, but caring what people think about you isn't necessarily bad. Figure out who you like and care about in life, and listen to and respect their opinions of you.

Daswollvieh

5553 Posts

August 16 2013 05:49 GMT

Check in again when you´re 30. In the early 20s it´s rather normal.

MarlieChurphy

United States2063 Posts

August 16 2013 06:27 GMT

I've never cared what people thought about me, #YOLO

In all seriousness, it's a bit a of crappy way to go through life. You have to just own yourself. Just be you and realize that there will obviously people that aren't going to like you just based on meeting you briefly, looking at you, or whatever. You can't win them all so don't try to and just focus on the relationships that matter and the people who do care. It's also about confidence, which is attractive so it ends up getting more people who wouldn't like you in the first place to like you.

The only real downside to this, is that (well for me anyways) sometimes I come off arrogant, a bit spazzy (at least online), or dumb. I don't care though, because if I were to care; then I would have additional bullshit to deal with.

I guess it's hard to just tell someone to do this, or be this way, so I guess the best thing to do to get over it is to stop thinking about what you are doing so much and paying attention to how people react to it and just do it and move on. Like it's some kind of high speed move, sometimes you make mistakes, other times it's ok, and it's all in the past and you're just moving forward so you can't be bothered to change it anyways.

Thereisnosaurus

Australia1822 Posts

August 16 2013 10:24 GMT

It's kinda important you care what other people think about you, just so long as you don't care what they think about you more than you care what you think about yourself.

calh

537 Posts

August 16 2013 11:19 GMT

#10

The above post is right. What people think about you affects what they do to you, and you should definitely care about that. It's always nice to think that you don't have to care about your own image, but in reality you'll get much further in life if the people around you think highly of you, whether their perception is true or not. So as long as you don't waste your time on losing battles (there will be people who naturally dislike you, and trying to change their mind isn't worth the effort), keeping an eye on what people think of you is a good thing.

Kreb

4834 Posts

August 16 2013 11:38 GMT

#11

On August 16 2013 19:24 Thereisnosaurus wrote:
It's kinda important you care what other people think about you, just so long as you don't care what they think about you more than you care what you think about yourself.

Exactly.

Or in other words: Some people get... "a higher amount of satisfaction" (dont know how formulate it better in just a very broad general way) by being liked by others. Some people get the higher amount of satisfaction by being liked by/thinking highly of yourself. Neither is right, neither is wrong. If you're one of those who cares more about what others think of you then dont be afraid to show that and be like that. Its who you are. Respectively, if you care more about thinking highly of yourself, dont try to be someone you're not by faking and making others like you. Be who you are. If anyone ever comments on you being "unusual" in any way even though you have no problem being like that (because you like the way you are) then thats because they dont respect you for who you are and rather expect you to be more "normal". And thats their shortcomming, not yours.