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Active: 2426 users

From: PR-goon@NITRIXenergy.com.br

Blogs > nunez
Post a Reply
nunez
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Norway4003 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-02-13 22:53:11
February 13 2013 22:49 GMT
#1
this is a screenshot of an inhouse e-mail from the company involved in the latest hacking scandal leaked to me by a journalist that [sic] "wishes to stay autonomous", namely Rod Slasher(?) Breslau.

From: PR-goon@NITRIXenergy.com.br
To: BigCheese@NITRIXenergy.com.br
Subject: RE: SC2 PR-pressure

    I know a lot of energy drink companies sponsor professional teams, but I got an even better idea.
    We hire some random people, and tell them to hack while using our label in their name. That way people will see that players with NITRIX in their name are improving real fast and go out and get some NITRIXenergy drinks of their own to keep up!

    I got a guy who is knowledgeable on the subject and I told him to choose some players totally at random using no leverage other than a couple of cans of edrink we'll compensate them with. I don't expect any problems finding players, this is after all the greasiest part of our demographic. If it's found out we'll get a lot of free PR from the debacle with our name being thrown around and that and it will be forgotten in a couple of weeks. These idiots probably can't even spell integrity.


edit:
NITRIXeDRINK caught hacking
two different NITRIX players caught hacking

***
conspired against by a confederacy of dunces.
damahammer
Profile Joined May 2010
Germany111 Posts
February 13 2013 23:59 GMT
#2
wow if this is true then it's...... nvm this can't be true o_O
nunez
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Norway4003 Posts
February 14 2013 00:01 GMT
#3
On February 14 2013 08:59 damahammer wrote:
wow if this is true then it's...... nvm this can't be true o_O


feel free to wildly speculate as to what really happened.
conspired against by a confederacy of dunces.
yNx
Profile Joined November 2011
Israel34 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-02-14 00:08:41
February 14 2013 00:07 GMT
#4
Well, I don't really think anything good can be produced from mere speculation. You have to provide the community with something legitimate enough to spark a discussion.
Salivanth
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Australia1071 Posts
February 14 2013 00:24 GMT
#5
This is laughable. It reads more like a parody than a real attempt at an e-mail, but I don't get any vibes of "funny" or even "supposed to be funny, but isn't" from this. It seems like a serious attempt, but come ON dude. If this is your attempt at a troll, learn some level of subtlety. Admittedly, I've written worse crap than this, but I was about nine years old at the time. Unless you're below the age of fourteen or so, you're an awful writer. If you're below 14-ish, you're still terrible, but there's still hope for you, since basically everyone is terrible at that age.
<@Wikt> so you are one of those nega-fans <@Wikt> that hates the company that makes a game and everything they stand for <@Wikt> but still plays the game <@Wikt> (like roughly 30% of blizzard's player base, maybe much more...)
nunez
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Norway4003 Posts
February 14 2013 00:30 GMT
#6
On February 14 2013 09:24 Salivanth wrote:
This is laughable. It reads more like a parody than a real attempt at an e-mail, but I don't get any vibes of "funny" or even "supposed to be funny, but isn't" from this. It seems like a serious attempt, but come ON dude. If this is your attempt at a troll, learn some level of subtlety. Admittedly, I've written worse crap than this, but I was about nine years old at the time. Unless you're below the age of fourteen or so, you're an awful writer. If you're below 14-ish, you're still terrible, but there's still hope for you, since basically everyone is terrible at that age.


in that case, there is no hope for me.
conspired against by a confederacy of dunces.
csikos27
Profile Joined May 2011
United States135 Posts
February 14 2013 00:36 GMT
#7
~.~
Salivanth
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Australia1071 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-02-14 00:45:28
February 14 2013 00:44 GMT
#8
Come to think of it...that was rather rude of me. There is hope for everyone, saying you have no hope is pretty much the biggest dick move of all time, and your writing clearly isn't as bad as I said it was, because nobody else seemed to jump on it. Several people seemed to be taking it seriously, rather than completely dismissing it as a poorly written joke, which they would have if my assessment was correct.

So...in other words, I'm a jerk. Your writing needs a lot of work, sure, but you can pretty much ignore what I said in my last post.

Reading over it a couple of times, I think I know why the post isn't good. You seem to be trying to straddle the line between serious and joke, and didn't take either one far enough. If it was meant to be a joke, you should have made a claim so ridiculous that nobody would even consider it possible. Off the top of my head, an example would be "We should hire people to hack in our name. Then, when we get caught, we claim that our energy drink is clearly SO GOOD, it turns people into sociopaths." (That's not all that funny, but you get the idea.)

Humor tends to come from subverting expectations, and I think the reason this didn't come off as looking like a joke was that it didn't subvert any. (Even a joke like "A man walks into a store and then proceeds to cluck like a chicken and smash his head into the wall", while not funny, is immediately identifiable as a joke.) Nothing in the post seemed that surprising, since the idea of corporations being bastards is already pretty hammered into people.

So...yeah. Again, I'm sorry. If "Give up now, you will never have any hope of being good" had been some feedback given to me when I started drawing (A much better parallel, since I was writing at a young age but only began drawing as an adult) I would have been devastated, and that guy would have been an asshole. So...I am that asshole, and I'm retracting that. You need work, but nobody has no hope, unless they're actually mentally disabled.
<@Wikt> so you are one of those nega-fans <@Wikt> that hates the company that makes a game and everything they stand for <@Wikt> but still plays the game <@Wikt> (like roughly 30% of blizzard's player base, maybe much more...)
nunez
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Norway4003 Posts
February 14 2013 00:59 GMT
#9
yes, you did come off overly agressive there. don't worry though if you're below 24-ish there's still hope for you!
conspired against by a confederacy of dunces.
LuckyFool
Profile Blog Joined June 2007
United States9015 Posts
February 14 2013 01:13 GMT
#10
who would leak something like this? Why would it be sent or seen by anyone who would possibly leak it.
MysteryMeat1
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States3292 Posts
February 14 2013 01:14 GMT
#11
On February 14 2013 09:59 nunez wrote:
yes, you did come off overly agressive there. don't worry though if you're below 24-ish there's still hope for you!


BURN!!!!! But you need to take it a bit farther next time. Also if you posted this in the general instead of the blogs it would be way more believable.
"Cause ya know, Style before victory." -The greatest mafia player alive
nunez
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Norway4003 Posts
February 14 2013 01:48 GMT
#12
yes, i don't doubt that you guys have a point, maybe even several.
conspired against by a confederacy of dunces.
alQahira
Profile Joined June 2011
United States511 Posts
February 14 2013 03:18 GMT
#13
Uh, I don't think he was trying to be believable...
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
February 14 2013 03:55 GMT
#14
On February 14 2013 12:18 alQahira wrote:
Uh, I don't think he was trying to be believable...

The issue is that people have done this before and gotten their threads closed, though those where much more believable.
User was warned for too many mimes.
739
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Bearded Elder29903 Posts
February 14 2013 06:50 GMT
#15
Holy shit, I laughed.
WriterSalty oldboy that loves memes | One and only back-to-back Liquibet Winner
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