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I suppose this will be great for some semblance of posterity, but hopefully I will also gain some closure and insight that maybe you guys can share in on. This is the story of the last two months of my life, and how it was awesome until today. Just as a precursor, this is probably going to be long, and its about women, and a life in general.
So let's Tarantino this up a bit and start from the end. Today I get home from my friend M's house at around 6am, and wake up at 11 with a text from her saying.
"I had looked through your phone and unfortunately I found something. I shouldn't have done it but I had a feeling. I've continued to tell you the truth while you continue to "Omit" things... now that's not fair. I will not invest any more emotion into something that is going nowhere. I like you Joe but I do not trust you and that's when I have to walk away."
Up until this point everything was great and I wasn't even aware we had a problem. To top this confusion off, there is literally nothing in my phone I would ever care if she read because I have nothing to hide. So I have no idea what the hell this is about and am now dreary, confused, and a tad annoyed.
Now back to the beginning, I first met M when we both worked at best buy around 2 years ago, at that time I was dating my girlfriend of 3 years who I broke up with about 6 months ago. When we worked together M seemed really cool, but we never hung out outside of work or anything and she quit after we worked together for around 4 months.
I dated my ex for 3 years, and we broke up when she felt like I just didn't care about the relationship anymore, which is true. I have a serious issue where I literally don't care about anything, its incredibly hard for me to feel any sort of motivation or drive to do anything, and I have the emotional capacity of an overly affectionate rock. It's hard for me to ever care about anyone, and I had stopped loving my ex around a year before we broke up but felt too bad to break up with her so I just let it ride until she did it at the end of last semester.
To follow that up, I really couldn't see myself caring about anyone, because I am not sure if I even have the capacity for love, for comparison, if the average person felt emotions on a scale of 10 to -10, I would probably feel them on a scale of 1 to -1. I don't expect myself to ever get attached to anyone, which is probably for the best since in the next year I will probably end up in either the US Marshals or the US Air Force which either way involves some serious relocation, which is fine with me because it's not like I would ever get attached to anyone, right?
So randomly I see M at a gas station and we start talking and begin hanging out in around the middle of
August. Things went so quick too, I found myself spending obscene amounts of time with her. We would hang out for like 12 hours at a time, sometimes more, just talking doing nothing or whatever. But we had never actually kissed/hooked up or anything, it was pretty strange. My issue is that I care too much about putting people in an awkward situation and I wouldn't want to make a move and risk making her feel uncomfortable and ruining a friendship.
So this semester we both have incredibly hectic schedules. She is taking 18 credits and working two jobs, while I work one job, an internship, and 19 credits at school. We still end up spending every free minute we have together. To put this in perspective, Monday's and Wednesday's involve me getting up at 5am and getting home at 10:30pm, and that doesn't even count my job where I work 25-35 hours a week. On top of that all the classes I am taking are 300-400 level courses and I will be graduating next semester. Yet a continually find myself wanting to spend time with her and blowing off school work, and we aren't even doing anything.
So during this time I end up hooking up (not sex) with some girl I work with, but me and M had only been talking/hanging out for a couple of weeks and she had mentioned some other guy she was talking to, so I was legitimately not sure what the hell was going on with this. The girl I hook up with at work was significantly younger than me and I didn't even really want to do it, but she made it awkward to avoid the situation and hey, I have no commitments right? So I hooked up with her once, explained to her how there is zero chance of it ever happening again and life goes on.
So around a week later I go to a bar with M and a bunch of people and everything worked out as I hoped, I generally don't drink but I decided an investment in liquid courage would give me the balls to actually go for it, and if I get rejected I can just use the socially acceptable excuse of "lol sorry I was drunk" and we can still be friends. The perfect plan! So it worked, and I end up hooking up with M and doing whatever else, and we hang out the next day sober and hook up some more and everything is great.
Now to explain this a little more, I mentioned I don't get attached to people earlier at all and this entire story seems to completely conflict that. The reason is because I absolutely hate stupidity to such an extreme and to actually find someone I could have stimulating conversation with was so awesome. She wants to be a teacher and is a history major and knows obscene amounts more about history than I do, which is awesome. We debate topics like abortion, death penalty, etc and she can actually hold her own. On top of this she is really cool, beautiful, and just enough strange to keep things always interesting.
It was strange to me, only hanging out with this girl for 3 weeks at this point and actually looking forward to every moment we spend together. So the following week she goes out drinking with her friends, and go see the lion king with a friend of mine. She tells me the next day after another 10 hours of hanging out that she had sex with some other guy, which felt strange. I was actually kind of happy that she was so honest, but a little sad she did that, but we weren't dating and nothing had ever been established, so at that time we decided we weren't going to try and sex other people and like that everything was great.
So we start actually doing stuff like going to an aquarium, the movies, just hanging out wasting countless hours together and I find myself caring more and more about her. The greatest part was that I decided I am not going to lie about anything. I consider myself a generally honest person, but when I say anything, I mean anything. I tell her I play video games, am a complete nerd, that I have done retarded things in the past and every other thing I generally wouldn't tell a girl in fear of some form of judgment and rejection. She does basically the same thing and we are just completely open with each other, which was also really refreshing. I felt like things couldn't possibly be going any better and maybe I need to start trying harder to get more emotionally invested. I mean I think it will take a conscious effort since I generally don't get close to anyone, but at the same time I am worried about what if it doesn't work out.
The thing was, we knew our relationship had an expiration date, and whatever we were doing was doomed from the get-go basically. See, she's 22, and I am 21 and next semester she is transferring to another school in either Boston or New Paltz, while I am stuck here finishing up my bachelors degree for another semester then going who knows where to do who knows what. So I tell her my philosophy towards us which basically is that I can't see myself regretting spending a really awesome 5 months with her and things ending, yes it is sad if things end up that we can't date anymore because we are so far apart and doing different things, but at least we gave it a shot and had a good time while we could. She agrees and we continue doing our thing and I keep finding myself falling for her more and more.
So now we are back to where we began, last night was a night like any other, we end up going to see Real Steel with her brother and cousin and then end up at her house hanging out until like 6am. For those of you who are still reading, here is your reward. Real Steel is the single worst movie I have ever seen, save your money, and hell even your bandwidth, because its not even worth pirating.
Ahem, back on topic. So at 6am she decides she wants to sleep because she has work in a few hours and needs to do some homework, so I drive her cousin Joe home and then get breakfast and head to sleep since today is my day off. I wake up to the lovely aforementioned text message, confused as hell, dreary, and a bit irritated.
So we are talking and she refused to explain or elaborate on what exactly her problem was and why she wanted to end things, I read through my text messages and see absolutely nothing I would care if she read. Up until this point, I have had zero reason to believe she is crazy/emotional or anything. She generally is just a cool/relaxed girl which is one of the many reasons we got along so great. So finally after hours of me freaking out and getting sparse detail lacking responses she tells me what her issue was.
She saw me have a conversation with this girl D from work which was literally from over a week ago, where she asked me to hang out, so I brought her with me to buy clothes for my internship. I have now become D's person she complains about all her little guy problems, thoughts, concerns, and worries. So I buy the clothes, we hang out for a little, then I go home. To be clear, I mentioned going shopping to M and I am pretty sure I said with my friend, but I never specified who the friend was or that I had hooked up with her once. It seemed irrelevant, and I was kind of worried she would judge me for having hooked up with a 17 year old, and on top of which, we barely did and I knew there were no strings left with her, and combined with that It was all before I ever even hooked up with M.
So I explain to her all of it, and then she calls me a liar and excuses me of purposely omitting things, which I guess was kind of true, but I never really felt there was an appropriate time to mention D that didn't feel forced. I mean, me and M have talked about people we have had sex with and dumb other stuff we have done, but D literally never fell into dumb thing category, or hilarious sex category so it just never came up. I always wondered if I should of told her, and I even asked my sister if she thought I should of, to which she said it wasn't a big deal and there was no reason to mention it.
Well, I explain everything, and apologize, I really didn't think it was a big deal, and for a second I thought she was fine with it because I get "Hah, I knew it" which was then followed up by a come pick up your stuff, I can't be in a relationship with someone I don't trust.
I felt like absolute shit, I didn't even really think I did anything wrong and now I just lost the first person I have cared about in god knows how long and for what? Some 17 year old girl who she felt mildly threatened by because I just never mentioned it? The kicker is, I consider myself good at reading people and she NEVER struck me as insecure or anything like that, maybe because I considered her so awesome and better than every girl I have met that I knew she had no reason to be insecure, or really care.
So I am driving there a bit in shock at how quick something so awesome just completely disappeared, and when I get there she gets my stuff and when I try to talk to her she just yells at me that its over and to give up then goes inside.
But you know, I said it earlier. While I am a bit upset with losing such an awesome girl, and I am sad we don't have the remaining 4 months together, it was still a great time and I regret nothing about it. I am happy I had the experience and at least I know now that maybe love and caring aren't as out of reach as I once previously thought. So I guess things end on kind of a somber note, but at least I can get back to the backlog of 600 pages of reading and countless reports/papers/presentations I have to write up for school.
I dunno if I learned any real lesson about relationships from this, but I feel like I have grown a bit emotionally from everything and I suppose at the end I feel a bit conflicted with the end result, but I suppose nothing is ever truly bad or truly good and you just have to take what you can get from every experience.
 
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and to my dear mafia buddies, sorry, this is where I have been the last 2 months <3
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Awww, RoL. 
Well, I don't know what I could say that helps, but if there's one thing I learned is that people never tell you the ACTUAL reason they are breaking up with you. They might graze the issue a bit, or mention the 'top of the iceberg', but from what I've experienced, it's never 100% the reason they claim it is.
Like in your story, it just doesn't make sense that anyone would do that out of the blue. So she might have had other insecurities, other worries, other plans, or who-knows-what, but the bottom line is that she wanted to end it, so she did. There's no reason to try and figure it out as long as you feel that you've done nothing wrong.
Perhaps in time she may explain what the actual issues were, I've had that happen once or twice, but as you said, you grow a bit from every experience, and you never know how fucked up the next one's gonna be. So carry on my wayward son! (sorry, couldn't help that last one)
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Sorry joey, I didn't really like her anyways. From what you told me she's a slut and it seems like she was just looking for a way to break it off with you. She's out having sex with other guys but at the same time is going through your phone looking for the slightest thing she could use against you?
Shes evil!
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On October 12 2011 07:17 CubEdIn wrote:Awww, RoL. Well, I don't know what I could say that helps, but if there's one thing I learned is that people never tell you the ACTUAL reason they are breaking up with you. They might graze the issue a bit, or mention the 'top of the iceberg', but from what I've experienced, it's never 100% the reason they claim it is. Like in your story, it just doesn't make sense that anyone would do that out of the blue. So she might have had other insecurities, other worries, other plans, or who-knows-what, but the bottom line is that she wanted to end it, so she did. There's no reason to try and figure it out as long as you feel that you've done nothing wrong. Perhaps in time she may explain what the actual issues were, I've had that happen once or twice, but as you said, you grow a bit from every experience, and you never know how fucked up the next one's gonna be. So carry on my wayward son! (sorry, couldn't help that last one)
Maybe she has your unborn baby in her and wanted to keep it cause she love you so much but didn't want to tell you and ruin your life so she had to break up with you to hide it and now she's going to move to another state or country and pretend to hate you while raising the kid until she passes away in a horrible accident and then there will be a phone call to you to attend her funeral and you meet the kid and have custody over him but really you're too busy trying to win robot fights and end up selling the kid for 500 bucks but he is feisty and ends up winning your love and respect and you both dig up a generation 2 robot that somehow is able to beat a top class robot and you hug, fade to black, end credits.
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On October 12 2011 07:29 chaoser wrote:Show nested quote +On October 12 2011 07:17 CubEdIn wrote:Awww, RoL. Well, I don't know what I could say that helps, but if there's one thing I learned is that people never tell you the ACTUAL reason they are breaking up with you. They might graze the issue a bit, or mention the 'top of the iceberg', but from what I've experienced, it's never 100% the reason they claim it is. Like in your story, it just doesn't make sense that anyone would do that out of the blue. So she might have had other insecurities, other worries, other plans, or who-knows-what, but the bottom line is that she wanted to end it, so she did. There's no reason to try and figure it out as long as you feel that you've done nothing wrong. Perhaps in time she may explain what the actual issues were, I've had that happen once or twice, but as you said, you grow a bit from every experience, and you never know how fucked up the next one's gonna be. So carry on my wayward son! (sorry, couldn't help that last one) Maybe she has your unborn baby in her and wanted to keep it cause she love you so much but didn't want to tell you and ruin your life so she had to break up with you to hide it and now she's going to move to another state or country and pretend to hate you while raising the kid until she passes away in a horrible accident and then there will be a phone call to you to attend her funeral and you meet the kid and have custody over him but really you're too busy trying to win robot fights and end up selling the kid for 500 bucks but he is feisty and ends up winning your love and respect and you both dig up a generation 2 robot that somehow is able to beat a top class robot and you hug, fade to black, end credits.
And Hugh Jackman should play you.
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That was a good read.
So what about Real steel didn't you like?
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On October 12 2011 07:32 CubEdIn wrote:Show nested quote +On October 12 2011 07:29 chaoser wrote:On October 12 2011 07:17 CubEdIn wrote:Awww, RoL. Well, I don't know what I could say that helps, but if there's one thing I learned is that people never tell you the ACTUAL reason they are breaking up with you. They might graze the issue a bit, or mention the 'top of the iceberg', but from what I've experienced, it's never 100% the reason they claim it is. Like in your story, it just doesn't make sense that anyone would do that out of the blue. So she might have had other insecurities, other worries, other plans, or who-knows-what, but the bottom line is that she wanted to end it, so she did. There's no reason to try and figure it out as long as you feel that you've done nothing wrong. Perhaps in time she may explain what the actual issues were, I've had that happen once or twice, but as you said, you grow a bit from every experience, and you never know how fucked up the next one's gonna be. So carry on my wayward son! (sorry, couldn't help that last one) Maybe she has your unborn baby in her and wanted to keep it cause she love you so much but didn't want to tell you and ruin your life so she had to break up with you to hide it and now she's going to move to another state or country and pretend to hate you while raising the kid until she passes away in a horrible accident and then there will be a phone call to you to attend her funeral and you meet the kid and have custody over him but really you're too busy trying to win robot fights and end up selling the kid for 500 bucks but he is feisty and ends up winning your love and respect and you both dig up a generation 2 robot that somehow is able to beat a top class robot and you hug, fade to black, end credits. And Hugh Jackman should play you.
Nah, Vin Diesel imo
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![[image loading]](http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/12360_700b.jpg)
*shameless havoc-wrecking in RoL's thread*
User was warned for this post
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That's a really bittersweet tale...
It made me smile bitterly even though I had tears rolling down my face... 
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Wow, what a fucking bitch
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you should try to get even more out of this situation by trying harder to get her back in your life
if you ever find yourself in this situation again you will want the experience you get by trying to get her back in your life, even if it doesn't succeed with this one
also reading this she sounded too good to be true so maybe she's crazy or something and that's her catch ... you know what they say good looking, smart, mentally stable - pick 2
edit - i wasted my 500th on THIS?!
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But.....I loved the movie.
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Sounded like she needed an excuse and convince herself to break up with you, since you guys were both parting ways in the near future.
Just let her cool off and give her space.
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what the hell is real steel anyways. it looks plum goofy and baffoon-ish
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On October 12 2011 07:29 chaoser wrote:Show nested quote +On October 12 2011 07:17 CubEdIn wrote:Awww, RoL. Well, I don't know what I could say that helps, but if there's one thing I learned is that people never tell you the ACTUAL reason they are breaking up with you. They might graze the issue a bit, or mention the 'top of the iceberg', but from what I've experienced, it's never 100% the reason they claim it is. Like in your story, it just doesn't make sense that anyone would do that out of the blue. So she might have had other insecurities, other worries, other plans, or who-knows-what, but the bottom line is that she wanted to end it, so she did. There's no reason to try and figure it out as long as you feel that you've done nothing wrong. Perhaps in time she may explain what the actual issues were, I've had that happen once or twice, but as you said, you grow a bit from every experience, and you never know how fucked up the next one's gonna be. So carry on my wayward son! (sorry, couldn't help that last one) Maybe she has your unborn baby in her and wanted to keep it cause she love you so much but didn't want to tell you and ruin your life so she had to break up with you to hide it and now she's going to move to another state or country and pretend to hate you while raising the kid until she passes away in a horrible accident and then there will be a phone call to you to attend her funeral and you meet the kid and have custody over him but really you're too busy trying to win robot fights and end up selling the kid for 500 bucks but he is feisty and ends up winning your love and respect and you both dig up a generation 2 robot that somehow is able to beat a top class robot and you hug, fade to black, end credits.
That was awesome, props.
On October 12 2011 07:34 bN` wrote:
That was a good read.
So what about Real steel didn't you like?
Everything. 2 protagonists you never had the chance to know their motivations or give a shit about, a random gangster black guy because why the fuck not. A shitty love story you also never cared about. A ridiculous underdog gimmicky fight in the end. A few hilariously painful product placements (Beats and Dr. Pepper) the worst writing ever, and to top it all off, a the main robot fighting kid is a dipshit child who is a giant hypocrite for bitching at wolverine about taking a title card for the money, then gasp, does the same thing 5 minutes later in the movie.
Everything sucked. I can't think of one redeeming quality.
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On October 12 2011 08:15 prplhz wrote:
you should try to get even more out of this situation by trying harder to get her back in your life
if you ever find yourself in this situation again you will want the experience you get by trying to get her back in your life, even if it doesn't succeed with this one
also reading this she sounded too good to be true so maybe she's crazy or something and that's her catch ... you know what they say good looking, smart, mentally stable - pick 2
edit - i wasted my 500th on THIS?!
Hater, it was worth it. I dunno if I would want to continue if she feels she can't trust me. I consider myself an extremely trustworthy person and I also consider trust to be the most important attribute in a relationship. I thought we had it, I was wrong.
On October 12 2011 08:25 English wrote:
Sounded like she needed an excuse and convince herself to break up with you, since you guys were both parting ways in the near future.
Just let her cool off and give her space.
I got a little bit of that too while we spoke, and I kind of figured it at least partly played a role in her decision and how she felt about us. I know she is also on her period, and if she cools off in a few days she can try to talk to me and we can see whatever will happen. It's not that I am being stubborn it's that if this is what she wants, then its what she wants as much as it sucks for me.
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Had the same exact thing happen to me with my last girlfriend. She found out I had fooled around with another girl before I started going out with her (lol I don't delete text messages and my old phone had near infinite memory for texts apparently and had shit from like a year prior that she managed to go through over the course of a night of me sleeping) and flipped out.
I just straight up told her, so what? You fooled around with other guys before going out with me (I was still a virgin at the time, she was not) and you don't see me going on a witch hunt. It was the funniest thing, too. She told me she had a dream where I fooled around with this chick and I just straight up said, you went through my phone didn't you hahaha. Couldn't stop laughing which probably made things worse. She and I are no longer together after breaking up over an entirely unrelated issue.
If this chick means that much to you, you need to tell her it didn't concern you so I didn't tell you, deal with it.
![[image loading]](http://img10.imageshack.us/img10/5772/1279777912083.gif)
If that's what you've already done, then enjoy the memories. It's not you, it's her.
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EPT
