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Active: 6923 users

Announcing TL Banling Worship Guide

Blogs > PraetorialGamer
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1 2 Next All
Praetorial
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
United States4241 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-10-09 11:21:34
October 09 2011 02:35 GMT
#1
So, ever since registering with TL about a half year ago, I noticed something.

In life, there are only three constants: death, taxes, and the almighty banlings.

Therefore, I have decided to create a religion around the bangods, casting them as a pantheon of divine beings that govern the world of TL. For example, I am choosing to portray Nyvone as a trickster god, who delights in the prostrations of PBUs at his feet before slaughtering them.

It is my hope that this will become the official religion of TL.

Current list of banlings(please suggest any for removal or addition):UPDATED WITH ACTIVE BANLINGS
Ares[Effort], Beyonder, Barrin, boesthius, Carnac, Chill, CTStalker, Empyrean, EvilTeletubby, Excalibur_Z, Fakesteve[TPR], GHOSTCLAW, GTR, Harem, heyoka, iamke55, Insane, IntoTheWow, Jibba, JWD, Kau, Klogon, KwarK, Liquid`Drone, Liquid`Jinro, mahnini, micronesia, motbob, Nyovne, p4NDemik, pachi, pangshai, Saracen, semioldguy, vGI-CoW, Waxangel, zatic, Zelniq, {CC}StealthBlue

EDIT: I wrote a little guide to GG.NoRe, though it has very little in comparison to what I am writing for the others.
+ Show Spoiler +

GG.NoRe-As you walk towards the temple, you see an elegant, curving structure with jagged lines protruding from the back. You look more closely, than realize that this blue monstrosity is a horse's head. You decide to walk in. As you approach the door, you see an old man pounding on a stained glass window, as if trying to break it. "LET ME IN!" he cries, seemingly oblivious to your presence. He continues with this, until you tap him on the shoulder, now curious about this lone figure."Who are you?" he asks.
You offer your hand, but nothing more.
"They cast me out...they broke me...but I'm still alive!"As he says this, he drives his fist clean through the window, shattering a depiction of Plexa. He laughs once more, then you see his face change...It becomes more bestial, more contorted.
"Nice meeting you, stranger, but duty calls!"he punctuates this by leaping through the broken window.
Sounds of fighting come from inside, the old man's fists as he strikes whatever lurked there. You then see a flash before his body comes hurtling out of the window, limp and bleeding. He lands fifty feet away, then quietly gets up, dusts his shirt, and ambles over. He pounds on another window this time.
GG.NoRe could be called many things, as he has so many names, but he is mostly known as a corrupter, an infestor. Team Liquid simply shall never be free of him, nor will he ever stop trying to troll Team Liquid. He exists parasitically, leeching of the community's goodwill, slowly leeching off of their thoughts, adapting his strategy. Only a year past was GG.NoRe permanently expunged from the annals of TL, but still his influence remains strong. Although very few people acknowledge it, it is widely known that at the height of his power, GG.NoRe held over two dozen accounts in thrall.
Only a fraction of these have been found.
GG.NoRe is one of the archenemies of TL for one reason: he is persistent, and never gives up on trying. Only last week was his newest identity expunged, The Black. Most of the gods have deigned to offer us the comfort that they are still making efforts to exile him permanently, but though the gods' word must be true, we must remain vigilant.
In order to rid ourselves of the hatred that GG.NoRe inspires, we must devote ourselves to Nyvone, the banling of banning, the one with the power to turn his silent watch over the halls of Team Liquid into a time of joy and celebration, the one who has executed personally many PBU accounts, the one with the scythe and smile. Only in giving thanks to our lord for this blessing that he bestows upon us, for the safety of Team Liquid and our emotional well-being, will we ever be rid of GG.NoRe.
Remain watchful.
Remain wary.
Remain suspicious.
Devote to the gods all your strength, all your praise, and you have nothing to fear, even from one who has spent his mortal existence fighting them in futile attempts.



The full guide should be done in two weeks, with descriptions of the bangods, their servants, how to appease their great wrath, and instructions on ritual sacrifices that may be given to each as a way of thanking them for their service.

Note: No, this is not a troll. I am doing this.

*
FOR GREAT JUSTICE! Bans for the ban gods!
Bibbit
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada5377 Posts
October 09 2011 02:38 GMT
#2
I feel like this would be a ton better if there was actually something here instead of a "I'm totally going to do this cool thing." If you dont do it I will be sad, because this could be pretty great . ^_^
Complete
Profile Joined October 2009
United States1864 Posts
October 09 2011 02:38 GMT
#3
do it then post

1/5
Chocolate
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States2350 Posts
October 09 2011 02:40 GMT
#4
Add cow.
Don't hate, just masticate.
Praetorial
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
United States4241 Posts
October 09 2011 02:41 GMT
#5
I wanted a definite list of banlings. This is not going to be an overnight project.

To Bibbit: I am totally going to do this. There isn't much I can show for it, but I want a general idea of the characteristics of the banlings from people who have been here longer than me.
FOR GREAT JUSTICE! Bans for the ban gods!
Megaliskuu
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States5123 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-10-09 02:43:15
October 09 2011 02:41 GMT
#6
Did you just call Mani and the other MiR's banling's? I am offended.

Maybe there is something I am missing, but I thought the heirarchy was Admin->MiR->Banling->->MiB
|BW>Everything|Add me on star2 KR server TheMuTaL.675 for practice games :)|NEX clan| https://www.dotabuff.com/players/183104694
Bibbit
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada5377 Posts
October 09 2011 02:42 GMT
#7
Moderators/Banlings
Aesop, Arbiter[frolix], Ares[Effort], Beyonder, Barrin, boesthius, Brood, Carnac, Chill, CTStalker, Daigomi, disciple, Empyrean, EvilTeletubby, Excalibur_Z, Fakesteve[TPR], GHOSTCLAW, GTR, H, Harem, heyoka, iamke55, Insane, IntoTheWow, intrigue, Jibba, JWD, Kau, Klogon, KwarK, Liquid`Drone, Liquid`Jinro, LosingID8, mahnini, ManaBlue, mensrea, micronesia, mikeymoo, motbob, mrmin123, Mystlord, Neoillusions, Nyovne, p4NDemik, pachi, pangshai, pheer, Puosu, RaGe, Saracen, semioldguy, SoMuchBetter, Tadzio, TheMango, ToKoreaWithLove, Twisted, vGI-CoW, Waxangel, XaI)Cyric, Xxio, zatic, Zelniq, {CC}StealthBlue

source
Kipsate
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Netherlands45349 Posts
October 09 2011 02:44 GMT
#8
How to please Harem

Offer him dragoons to his cracklings

How to get banned by Harem

Vulture harass him and build siege tanks

many many siege tanks.
WriterXiao8~~
Megaliskuu
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States5123 Posts
October 09 2011 02:45 GMT
#9
I think instead of a banling servant guide we should just make a Harem appreciation thread.
|BW>Everything|Add me on star2 KR server TheMuTaL.675 for practice games :)|NEX clan| https://www.dotabuff.com/players/183104694
Praetorial
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
United States4241 Posts
October 09 2011 02:48 GMT
#10
On October 09 2011 11:42 Bibbit wrote:
Moderators/Banlings
Aesop, Arbiter[frolix], Ares[Effort], Beyonder, Barrin, boesthius, Brood, Carnac, Chill, CTStalker, Daigomi, disciple, Empyrean, EvilTeletubby, Excalibur_Z, Fakesteve[TPR], GHOSTCLAW, GTR, H, Harem, heyoka, iamke55, Insane, IntoTheWow, intrigue, Jibba, JWD, Kau, Klogon, KwarK, Liquid`Drone, Liquid`Jinro, LosingID8, mahnini, ManaBlue, mensrea, micronesia, mikeymoo, motbob, mrmin123, Mystlord, Neoillusions, Nyovne, p4NDemik, pachi, pangshai, pheer, Puosu, RaGe, Saracen, semioldguy, SoMuchBetter, Tadzio, TheMango, ToKoreaWithLove, Twisted, vGI-CoW, Waxangel, XaI)Cyric, Xxio, zatic, Zelniq, {CC}StealthBlue

source


Thanks. I'm only planning on writing about the active ones.
FOR GREAT JUSTICE! Bans for the ban gods!
Alejandrisha
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States6565 Posts
October 09 2011 02:53 GMT
#11
why are you doing this
get rich or die mining
TL+ Member
Praetorial
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
United States4241 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-10-09 02:57:58
October 09 2011 02:57 GMT
#12
On October 09 2011 11:53 Alejandrisha wrote:
why are you doing this


TL is a lot like a country. I'm writing a state religion.

Because it'll be fun. And I need the practice.
FOR GREAT JUSTICE! Bans for the ban gods!
AnxiousHippo
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Australia1451 Posts
October 09 2011 02:59 GMT
#13
On October 09 2011 11:48 PraetorialGamer wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 09 2011 11:42 Bibbit wrote:
Moderators/Banlings
Aesop, Arbiter[frolix], Ares[Effort], Beyonder, Barrin, boesthius, Brood, Carnac, Chill, CTStalker, Daigomi, disciple, Empyrean, EvilTeletubby, Excalibur_Z, Fakesteve[TPR], GHOSTCLAW, GTR, H, Harem, heyoka, iamke55, Insane, IntoTheWow, intrigue, Jibba, JWD, Kau, Klogon, KwarK, Liquid`Drone, Liquid`Jinro, LosingID8, mahnini, ManaBlue, mensrea, micronesia, mikeymoo, motbob, mrmin123, Mystlord, Neoillusions, Nyovne, p4NDemik, pachi, pangshai, pheer, Puosu, RaGe, Saracen, semioldguy, SoMuchBetter, Tadzio, TheMango, ToKoreaWithLove, Twisted, vGI-CoW, Waxangel, XaI)Cyric, Xxio, zatic, Zelniq, {CC}StealthBlue

source


Thanks. I'm only planning on writing about the active ones.
Even so, there's quite a few here that are active that you could add.
An apple a day keeps the Protoss away | TLHF
Alejandrisha
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States6565 Posts
October 09 2011 02:59 GMT
#14
On October 09 2011 11:57 PraetorialGamer wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 09 2011 11:53 Alejandrisha wrote:
why are you doing this


TL is a lot like a country. I'm writing a state religion.

Because it'll be fun. And I need the practice.

just remember the separation between church and state
get rich or die mining
TL+ Member
Praetorial
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
United States4241 Posts
October 09 2011 03:06 GMT
#15
On October 09 2011 11:59 Alejandrisha wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 09 2011 11:57 PraetorialGamer wrote:
On October 09 2011 11:53 Alejandrisha wrote:
why are you doing this


TL is a lot like a country. I'm writing a state religion.

Because it'll be fun. And I need the practice.

just remember the separation between church and state


It is my hope that this religion will be allowed, as it exists as an extension of TL.
FOR GREAT JUSTICE! Bans for the ban gods!
JingleHell
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States11308 Posts
October 09 2011 03:13 GMT
#16
Obviously the appropriate sacrifice to Chill is a Girl Blog.

For KwarK, a pseudo-science youtube link.

For mahnini, make a bad mechanical keyboard thread after he designated the new official one.

If you need divine intervention from Ares[Effort], you should report 3 posts from Aeres, the false prophet.

Probe1
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States17920 Posts
October 09 2011 03:14 GMT
#17
On September 09 2011 22:17 Nyovne wrote:
MORE BANS FOR THE BANGOD!!!

I'm starting a cult right now. First crusade comming soon.

Source
우정호 KT_VIOLET 1988 - 2012 While we are postponing, life speeds by
Alejandrisha
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States6565 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-10-09 03:15:40
October 09 2011 03:15 GMT
#18
On October 09 2011 12:06 PraetorialGamer wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 09 2011 11:59 Alejandrisha wrote:
On October 09 2011 11:57 PraetorialGamer wrote:
On October 09 2011 11:53 Alejandrisha wrote:
why are you doing this


TL is a lot like a country. I'm writing a state religion.

Because it'll be fun. And I need the practice.

just remember the separation between church and state


It is my hope that this religion will be allowed, as it exists as an extension of TL.


you're making a religion about the people that are the police in the country you're proposing. the police serve as the executive arm of this country. you are putting police in the pews and behind the podium in the chapel
get rich or die mining
TL+ Member
TheKefka
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Croatia11752 Posts
October 09 2011 03:16 GMT
#19
Don't mind Alejandrisha,he's just mad his name isn't on that list.
Cackle™
Alejandrisha
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States6565 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-10-09 03:17:43
October 09 2011 03:17 GMT
#20
On October 09 2011 12:16 TheKefka wrote:
Don't mind Alejandrisha,he's just mad his name isn't on that list.

nah being a banling way too mainstream ^^
get rich or die mining
TL+ Member
1 2 Next All
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