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You're going through an existential crisis.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Existential_crisis
Don't feel like you're alone. I feel this is ironic, but maybe also a sign for me. I went through mine this week and believe me I started thinking about the same questions you are currently thinking of.
Is there a god? What happens after death? Is there meaning in life? etc.. The problem with these questions is that there are no definite answers. Bouncing them inside your head only prolongs negative feelings and could lead to developing depression.
Usually these kinds of events are caused by negative developments in your life which create anxiety which then creates the development of the mood you are in which could lead to the idea that you're depressed. Honestly, it could be depression by itself. I was in your exact same boat this morning and I'm twenty one.
Do not isolate yourself Talk to your friends and family about the feelings you're currently having. Talking to someone and letting these things out will certainly make you feel better. Ultimately this might lead you to have a sense of spirituality and it has for me.
These questions are gigantic for you to try to bear on yourself as a person. Have faith in yourself and ultimately you will get through this.
Edit If you need someone to talk to. PM me. I'd be happy to listen and try to help as best I could.
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When youre young you get sad, when youre young you get sad, when youre young you get...
Saaaadd....
and you get....hiiiiiiiigh
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On June 05 2010 14:24 Carthac wrote:
When youre young you get sad, when youre young you get sad, when youre young you get...
Saaaadd....
and you get....hiiiiiiiigh
I'd argue against using cannabis. Cannabis intensifies any mood you are currently in and if you are rather sad it will simply make it worse. Believe me from personal experience.
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On June 05 2010 11:18 Superiorwolf wrote:
Of course it's normal for 15 year olds to think about this. I already formed my opinion on the existence of a god or not by the time I was 15. Research both sides of the argument online and form your own opinion on the subject. Hopefully you'll find the logic and reasoning behind scientific arguments more convincing than arguments of intelligent design.
Lol nice way to pretty much tell him to that he's wrong if he believes in god... Do some research and if you dont believe in God then youre right because thats how i think. If you do believe in a God just know that I think youre wrong and my opinion is right while youre wrong.
Believe what you want just don't argue with people who don't share those same views, respect them even if they differ from your own.
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It is good to question, and to explore possibilities, but do not linger on things, your mind is a very powerful tool. It is completely normal to think of these things as we Humans are but just peas to a pod, most times there are answers, but sometimes there are none and those answers are only limited to the imagination until something is factual is discovered. Definitely do not be depressed over these ideas, there would be no meaning to life without death, death is a cycle none can escape and something we all share. And after you have lived your life, you should not be fearful of death. It is known that nothing can be destroyed, it can only change form, we all will live on, just in what time and space is the question.
Edit: And as far as God goes, he is what you make him to be. None can prove a single god, or that a god exists, although there is most definitely much greater power(s) that be. Many religions use these figures to push morality, which is great, but they also push a lot of nonsense that is irrelevant. Do not fail to question this like many do.
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On June 05 2010 14:31 Mickey wrote:Show nested quote +On June 05 2010 14:24 Carthac wrote:
When youre young you get sad, when youre young you get sad, when youre young you get...
Saaaadd....
and you get....hiiiiiiiigh I'd argue against using cannabis. Cannabis intensifies any mood you are currently in and if you are rather sad it will simply make it worse. Believe me from personal experience.
I was just quoting a song 
I never did drugs when I was younger, with the exception of drinking, but I would if I could do it over again. If you have the will power and control to not do anything stupid and stay away from hard drugs, I believe drugs open up a lot of doors to curbing adolescent depression.
HOWEVER, most kids really can't handle nor understand the responsibility behind doing any sort of drug. They often times get behind on responsibilities and go overboard with them.
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Teenage angst.
Read meaningful books. (not the bible though)
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9931 Posts
aw, adorable! it's alright, everyone has felt like this before - in fact, i'd say it's abnormal to not get these thoughts. talking about it can help a lot because you'll see very clearly that you are not alone. you are only fifteen, so i'll just tell you now that for every shitty day you have like this in your life there will be another where you are just so fucking happy you are here and everything is beautiful.
don't worry about it, u just gotta sk8
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LoL I remember when I was a teen. Good times...
Hey don't worry, you'll have real problems to be depressed about soon enough. Time to learn to cope.
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You are the perfect age now to read Stranger In a Strange land, it will change your life.
I don't particularly like the thought of dying, but we all have to do it some day
Just live your life, explore your opportunities and do as much as possible so you can reminisce and feel content with integrity in old age.
EDIT: if this makes you depressed, stay away from women
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All kids your age go through it. I did too, it goes away after a while.
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The strategy I formulated as a kid was to spend my life accumulating as much money and power as possible, while maximizing my life expectancy through whatever means were available, and then hopefully, right before I die, someone develops some kind of working cryofreeze or whatever that allows me to live forever.
Too bad Teenage and Grown up me are so fricking lazy! 
Just do not do something stupid, it may pass as you learn to ignore the empty void where the meaning of life should be. I still hate when I end up not falling asleep, instead lying there thinking about things like this, because there really is no inherent meaning to life, you just have to fill it with stupid stuff like Starcraft or whatever.
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Dying is natural, all living things reach that point eventually. Your life would be much different if it was not for the death of organisms years and years ago. It is the cycle of nature, life and death. Including religion and spiritualism only adds fear and complication to something so simple. As the most intelligent species on Earth it is also natural to fear something that can never be truly experienced since it would be "the end." Would you gain satisfaction in subconsciously telling yourself otherwise?
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Man, I'm 21 and I've been going through the same deal as you for the past few months now. Sure, I may have had a thought or two in these realms when I was 17 or so, but really, I had NO IDEA what I'd be going through in my late 20th year up to right about now. Let me tell you, life is harder when you're a virgin in a society that expects you to lose it before you graduate high school. Being in college with more open-minded people than not helped me let go of my (born and raised) Christian beliefs for good.
Sure, I toyed with the idea that there wasn't a god, but as life wore on I found that there's a third option that I've come to agree with more than religion or atheism. And that is spirituality. It's one thing to say there's no god, it's completely another to say there is a god and he favors you because you pray to a specific prophet (beware of false ones), but I've found it quite intellectually fulfilling to just take the universe for what it is: beautiful, alive, and continuous. I highly recommend you have morals in your life, but that doesn't mean you have to drink someone's blood every Sunday and say remember Jesus as your savior once every five minutes in order to live in paradise. The Bible is meant to be taken non-literally, by the way. You can actually gain a lot of knowledge about the world if you read it that way.
On June 05 2010 15:07 Carthac wrote:Show nested quote +On June 05 2010 14:31 Mickey wrote:On June 05 2010 14:24 Carthac wrote:
When youre young you get sad, when youre young you get sad, when youre young you get...
Saaaadd....
and you get....hiiiiiiiigh I'd argue against using cannabis. Cannabis intensifies any mood you are currently in and if you are rather sad it will simply make it worse. Believe me from personal experience. I was just quoting a song I never did drugs when I was younger, with the exception of drinking, but I would if I could do it over again. If you have the will power and control to not do anything stupid and stay away from hard drugs, I believe drugs open up a lot of doors to curbing adolescent depression. HOWEVER, most kids really can't handle nor understand the responsibility behind doing any sort of drug. They often times get behind on responsibilities and go overboard with them.
I tend to agree with these two. Cannabis helped me recognize my own spiritual beliefs as valid and possible. At one point I even believed that the universe was simply a large organism trying to get by in its own little world. Now I just believe in unity. There are drugs that can help you understand more about yourself if you use them with respect. I'm not saying you should go toke up outside or stay high for the rest of your life. But every once in a while certainly can't be a bad thing.
Actually, along with my existential crisis, I had to stop hanging out with my small group of college friends several months ago. This small group had already been made smaller due to my use of cannabis, though I was getting to the level in the underground communities where new doors were opening up and I would've probably been popular in a few short weeks. However, because of my lacking social ability when it came to women, my small group of friends actually sat me down at a beer/weed party and told me that I should stop waiting to come out of the closet, because it would be better for me if I had my sexual orientation out in the open.
Let me tell you, I was pissed. I'm straight, by the way. I told my roommate's disrespectful girlfriend to strip then and there and then we'd see who's gay. I couldn't even get away from them because I was drunk. I later moved out of my apartment early, basically screwed my roommate and longtime friend into having to pay the full rent and also into having to buy dishes for the kitchen (sob sob), and also stopped hanging out with that group of friends. And that's how I quit smoking.
Basically, I hate having been so damn sheltered in high school. No one ever pressured me to get a girlfriend until college, so it was seldom that I had one in high school. I think I was more interested in getting a higher level in some RPG than trying to get involved with females. It's not like it helped that my mom switched the channel and said "eww, gross!!!!" every time something even remotely seductive (shampoo commercials? COME ON!) came on the tv.
It's much more important to go through an existential crisis at a young age than it is being fucking ignorant. I know you didn't need my life story and I know no one gives a shit about some loser on the internet (me), but perhaps it will help you get through your dark time. I feel that my crisis took a hell of a lot longer because it was triggered by me gaining 100% independence (irresponsibility), losing the friends I hung out with 99% of the time (isolation), and recognizing how late I am in losing my virginity (low self-esteem) -- all at the same time. It would have been nicer to deal with those things individually, but life kicks us all in the ass sometimes, right?
So my point is this: you know that little voice in the back of your head? It's time to start listening to it. If someone tells you otherwise, tell them to back off and let you live your own damn life. As long as you respect yourself, the people around you, and the planet you live on, anything goes. There's actually more I could tell you that could help, but I feel like my posting privileges should get taken away for a few hours because of how much of an asshole I'm being by making such a large, meaningless (to most) post. If you want to hear it all, PM me.
Sorry for longpost, take it light everyone.
Edit: Probably gonna make this into a blog.
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Also, if you research DMT (you don't have to take it to RESEARCH IT, by the way), you might be interested that there's a possibility of your subconscious being shifted into the whole of the non-living universe when you die, and you can place your subconscious back into a living thing whenever. Beware, though, for that also comes with a consciousness, which is hard to get rid of!
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Don't worry about it. You're going to die, and you'll find out then. Enjoy life while you have it, don't waste it worrying about what happens when you aren't alive; you spend a lot more time dead than alive.
The meaning of life is to be happy. You're not here for very long. Do everything you can to be happy. Make those around you happy. The pursuit of happiness is the only thing that matters in life.
As for the beginning of the universe, why does it matter? That doesn't effect you, and will probably never effect the Human race. It's a question that doesn't have an answer, but it's also an unimportant question.
These thoughts you're having are totally natural and this post probably won't help much.
Don't answer the questions, question the questions. In your lifetime, will they really matter?
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It's perfectly normal to go through an existential crisis. Most teens around your age go through it. I personally have never gone through it, but I think I can find some underlying causes. Take this with a grain of salt since I have no first hand experience nor have I taken any philosophy courses.
At a very early age, your brain is mainly controlled by the reptilian or the primitive side of it. You know how to eat, sleep, and you can learn other basic functions like oral communication. When you are a teenager around the time of puberty, your brain undergoes a wide variety of changes. One of these changes is the change that separated humans from animals - the ability of intellectual thought and actualization. Having a subconscious awareness of actualization leads to a subconscious fear of death - which is the root cause of your existential crisis.
What this means is that you fear death because you have not lived life the way you want it. As a 15 year old, you are not supposed to have gotten everything out of life yet. If you die at this stage, it will suck pretty bad. The reason why existential crises occur at earlier stages in life is because you have not prediction of what your life will become like or what you will need to do to self actualize.
Reaching self actualization in a nutshell is reaching your fullest potential in life so that when you die, you will be content with the life that you have led. Different people actualize in different ways. Most people reach self actualization by having a family, and knowing that their children will carry on the family bloodline. Right now, you probably don't see much meaning from leaving a mark on the world, having children, or having grandchildren, but eventually you will. When you see these meanings, the question in your mind will change from "What happens when I die?" into "How can I achieve these things in life?". At that point, things will be a lot easier to bear and life will no longer to depressing since you have clear goals to achieve. When you are lying on your deathbed at the end of your life, the question in your mind will be "Have I led a life that I am proud of?" That question is answered through everything that you did in your lifetime.
What I'm trying to tell you is that an existential crisis hinges upon not knowing whether you will lead a successful life. If you are uncertain of whether or not you will die happy, then be certain that the things you need to do in order to die happy will become apparent to you soon. When that day comes, you won't ever have to worry about what happens after you die, because you have something to live for. For now, live life to the fullest, and save dying for later.
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lets see... i like to be positive, and as i delve deeper and deeper into the realm of science (on my way to doctorage, first mursing tho  ), I see things that seem too spectacular to be created by chance. the way cells replicate and have the blueprints for life, which are enormously complicated. just thinking about how one cell can lead to a functioning hive of trillions of cells all thinking and working together. you can write libraries about the intricacies of the mind and thought. this stuff just melts my mind sometimes.
then there is the universe itself, all the physics and environment are perfect for life (there may be other places in the universe as well). im not going to get into the bible, cause it has to be taken with a grain of salt, we cant be sure of the accounts, their transcribed accuracy, omitted passages, eye witness account accuracies. plus all the other religions saying they are right as well. I think there is something that created the universe, but i dont know about their involvement in our lives.
I've recently been thinking time may be cyclical, just because of all the deja vu i've been experiencing lately. we may be living the same life over and over again, in which case you may be reading this forum for the upteenth time. or the whole world may just be a reality for you, that doesn't actually exist. life may be a game that you are plugged in to, and when you die you wake up somewhere else, or you're a character in someone else's game. plus, there are multiple dimensions (11 or 12 if i'm not mistaken), all existing in the same place, where dead people could be hiding. lots of fun possibilities.
in the worst case, death would probably be just like going to sleep (what did you feel like before you were born). and if you notice that you're dead, then fist pump since you've continued existing.
anyways, i think it's best to keep all this on the back burner, but this site goes over a lot of the ideas about origins of life and what could come after death, in depth http://lifeafterdeath.info/ . it should help confuse you more stay cheery!
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i'm totally with you brother, and let me tell i went for it. I just had to know the answer, so i killed myself. but as it turned out, i failed because i woke up the next day. when i realized i was still alive, i felt like i was the biggest failure ever cuz i couldn't even get suicide right. then i was REALLY depressed.
then like lightning, i was free. whatever answer i was looking for was to the wrong question. i knew i had my own life, and even if self-begot, this life is still mine. i stopped talking for 3 months, stopped eating much, quite drinking drugs and sex, would read the bible and pretend i was a ghost waiting for ressurection. i took solace in the leaves of the trees and the faces of those walking by. had to deal with another year of the dead life, but i eventually broke into the adventure i wanted for the rebirth.
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It is very normal to think life is useless, i've done too.
Life is just a big ball of shit and pain, you've got to make it fun to endure it.
Just don't try to kill yourself yet, wait with that until you are 20+ and have experienced life itself. ^^
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EPT
