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2nd Worst City in CA8938 Posts
“Genuine beginnings begin with us.”
— William Throsby Bridges
When I first joined TeamLiquid.net a bit over five years ago, I made a promise to myself: I would not get involved with the site as anything more than a simple poster. The reason for this was simple. For as long as I could remember, whenever I developed a strong interest in anything—be it online or otherwise—I would inevitably throw the entirety of my being at it, contributing the bulk of my time and effort towards it however possible. In middle school, I was engrossed in role-playing, as the ability to conjure words and create a world tempted my imagination. In high school, I was pulled into the realm of online gaming, in which my competitive spirit took me further than I'd ever envisioned.
Throughout the majority of my time in college, I was consumed by various college clubs and friends, so far as to organize my own circles to further the relationships of those around me. During the last year of university and a year or so after, politics took me for a wild ride, embedding within me dreams that I will carry forever. And now, in 2015, my infatuation is without a doubt esports, a domain that has me channeling all of my past experiences in attempts to contribute to a field still in its adolescence.
In short, I am terrible at maintaining balance in life.
On January 13th of this year, Team Liquid announced the addition of its Counter-Strike: Global Offensive team. After the announcement, I strongly hoped for a CS:GO subforum for the site (as I had done since months prior), and sure enough, only three days later, our single thread had evolved into a subforum.
The new forum was bare, yet in its emptiness I saw possibilities. I created thread after thread in hopes of constructing an environment conducive to promoting discussion and livening the community, referencing popular threads from other TL.net forums to produce things members might enjoy. This, however, led to a broken promise with myself.
I officially became more than just a poster. Before I knew it, I was recognized as staff. It was not something I wanted, but nonetheless, I strongly felt the desire to get CS:GO coverage off the proper foot for TL.net. As much as I wished to stay away from contributing to the site, over the years I had developed a profound respect for the organization's esports coverage, and while my vow withstood four and a half years, I decided that providing the CS:GO community with content that could live up to TL.net's reputation was ultimately more important. As TL.net was venturing into new ground, I wanted to utilize my past experiences along with my love for CS:GO to give both communities a proper introduction to one another. For better or worse, I simply cared too much for TL.net and CS:GO and believed—and still believe—that both communities can attain a greatness never seen with one another.
What started as a ragtag team of a handful of active contributors is now a fervent group of over 20. Our team has been extremely fortunate, to say the least. Since the early stages, we have been blessed with amazingly talented individuals who have become our pillars for success. Although we have seen our fair share of people come and go—somewhere close to 20 in the span of 6 months—the dedication of some of our staffers cannot be overstated.
During this time, I grew more and more involved with the team, both emotionally and as a contributor. My social life had already taken a huge blow, but even worse, juggling my day job whilst leading the team left me little time for rest and relaxation. I don't remember the last time I got a full day's rest. Even during the rare occasion where I would find time to meet with friends, I was unable to refrain myself from checking Skype to make sure everything was going smoothly within the team.
A month or so before I was set to make an announcement to the team about my stepping down, I reflected upon the past half year and what it had meant to me. My body and mind were worn and there were of course those little things that nagged me about the team, which was natural for one as big as ours. Yet the time I spent with the team and the things we produced—together—undeniably made me happy. The overwhelmingly positive reception we received from the community, not only on TL.net but throughout Reddit and social media as well, is one of the greatest gifts I have ever had the pleasure of receiving. The hundreds of hours of labor were all very worth it, and I have absolutely zero regrets.
The bigger problem was my "real life." My productivity at work was slowly declining as I came in every morning extremely tired. If there was anything that was making me unhappy, it was definitely my situation at work.
And so after a period of reflection, I quit my job. From the beginning I only saw it as a temporary gig, so it was not much of a loss. Rather, the most significant result of my reflection was not parting from my job; it was me acknowledging my passion and accepting something I've known all along about myself: I cannot live without chasing my dreams.
As the world spins and the majority of people settle for normalcy, I am constantly pulled towards a need for something greater. Not for myself, but for everyone else, in hopes that "normalcy" will one day be something worth striving for. It's a principle that got me involved with politics and something I will undoubtedly bring with me to my grave.
I will be embarking on an adventure. Save for one year where I studied in Japan, I have lived in San Diego my entire life and feel it’s time for me to once again experience something different. As such, I will be moving to Kansas City, Missouri. I currently have no job offers, but that is something I will worry about after I get there. I am not particularly picky as I will be treating it as an experience more than anything else, and I certainly don’t think I will be settling into a full-blown career there. Luckily, Josh, also known as Thumbless here on TL.net, will be letting me stay with him until I get my situation in order. I pray he doesn’t ask for too many sexual favors in return.
“The arrogance of success is to think that what you did yesterday will be sufficient for tomorrow.”
— William Pollard
From here on, I will be seriously pursuing a career in esports. It’s not something I ever imagined myself doing, but it feels like it was only a matter of time due to my long and ardent attachment to video games.
I’ve learned and experienced quite a bit during my time with TL.
Firstly, if you’re really looking to get into esports, volunteer and form connections. Once you decide to volunteer, whether it’s as a writer, graphic designer or anything else, you must take every project you’re entrusted with 100% seriously. Being a volunteer is not an excuse to drag the efforts of those around you down with you. Don’t assume those around you are ignorant of those who do not put in the proper effort. We know. The community knows. Those who give it their all will be noticed, and they are typically the ones that will be rewarded for their efforts, while those who try and cut corners will be remembered, and not in a good way. All the talent in the world means nothing if it’s never on display.
That being said, while individuals with decent work ethic aren’t uncommon, those with actual initiative are a rarity.
We and esports, as a community and a field, are in a delicate time. As esports is still in its adolescence, we have the opportunity to mold and create the standards to be followed for years to come. Yet, as the industry has experienced tremendous growth in recent years, communities have failed to keep up with the changing times, and TL is definitely no exception. While much of our coverage and articles can be seen as a sort of gold standard for esports content, there is still huge room for improvement, and that includes our CS:GO coverage.
I think the community deserves more. I think players and teams deserve more. Some tournaments certainly deserve more. Yet complacency oozes out of every organization as self-satisfaction pervades those who are unable to see past the status quo.
Esports dwells within its own bubble, and the content that is produced within it has stagnated. And while many people may not notice nor care, I don’t believe in standing still as the world around me moves forward. In many regards, esports has a dire lack of leaders—leaders who will revolutionize the industry for the benefit of us all. I think one of the main reasons why this is is because everyone is out on the racetracks, trying to get ahead of one another, instead of working together to invent something truly magnificent. Another reason is because the general demographic is young and the knowledge and experience is just not quite there.
As the industry transitions from a more grassroots, fringe community to something more mainstream and professional, we are seeing an increase of those who are after money and less of those who exude true passion. That being said, with the relatively small amount of opportunities and lower wages currently, communities are still largely run with enthusiasm. The question is, “For how much longer?”
I dream of a future where we will no longer look outside for inspiration, but rather, the rest of the world will look towards us as the proper example of how to do things. I envision a time where an esports journalist will win a Pulitzer, an author will win a Nobel Prize and a video will take an Oscar. Paintings of video games will dress the Louvre, apparel will paint the stores, and orchestras will douse entire towns with esports classics. No one truly knows how far esports will go.
So let’s take it further than our imagination.
I know I’ll try.
 
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United States24 Posts
All the sexual favors. ;P
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It is time to bring Jpop to esports. You can start by bringing Sana over to the U.S. and maybe one day you will get Nana.
But seriously, do you hate me so much that you have to move across the country when I get back to California?
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2nd Worst City in CA8938 Posts
California can't handle both of us anymore, Kaze. ;;
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Johto4871 Posts
I heard he has a wife, but maybe he's into threesomes 
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wow what a blog, all the best! Noticed that you now have a new icon 
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On August 06 2015 13:40 Souma wrote:
As the industry transitions from a more grassroots, fringe community to something more mainstream and professional, we are seeing an increase of those who are after money and less of those who exude true passion. That being said, with the relatively small amount of opportunities and lower wages currently, communities are still largely run with enthusiasm. The question is, “For how much longer?”
....
So let’s take it further than our imagination.
I know I’ll try.
NHL '94 (October '93) and Super Tecmo Bowl (1988) are still going.
The Madison, Wiscounsin Tecmo Bowl event gets talked about on ESPN. Is any one in this event under 30? LOL.
The NHL '94 event gets exposure on Canada's #1 sports network... SportsNet.
http://tecmomadison.com/
http://www.sportsnet.ca/590/got-game/an-ice-pilot-is-setting-up-a-giant-nhl-94-tournament-in-toronto/
http://www.kingof94.com/news/
i find the negativity on here about how Starcraft is dying to be comical when i see the NHL '94 community continue to soldier on.
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2nd Worst City in CA8938 Posts
I think your reading comprehension is as poor as your posting history.
I couldn't give two shits about SC2 nor its death and didn't even approach the subject.
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The only line in my entire eight line post that does not answer your question directly is misinterpreted by you. I did not say "SC2". I said "Starcraft'. If you were unsure what I meant you can request clarification rather than pigeon-holing my comment, and, assuming I meant specifically "SC2:Heart of the Swarm". I meant the entire franchise's esports infrastructure. Hence, I used the very generic term "Starcraft" rather than something far more specific. Some examples of more specific terminology include "SC2" or "Heart of the Swarm" or "Brood War". I used none of these specific terms.
This could've been avoided by simply requesting clarification rather than pulling out one line of my entire comment and claiming it is somehow an accurate measure of my reading comprehension.
back to the topic at hand...
i'll amplify an earlier point in my previous post because i suspect it was ignored.
On August 06 2015 13:40 Souma wrote:
In many regards, esports has a dire lack of leaders—leaders who will revolutionize the industry for the benefit of us all. I think one of the main reasons why this is is because everyone is out on the racetracks, trying to get ahead of one another, instead of working together to invent something truly magnificent. Another reason is because the general demographic is young and the knowledge and experience is just not quite there.
its interesting to see older guys in older esports like Super Tecmo Bowl and NHL '94 lead their communities and compare and contrast this with the guys who lead newer games and are still in college.
i think part of the problem is that the guys in college leading their communities do not realize that they can learn anything from a guys like Chet Holzbauer (Tecmo Bowl) and Mikey Mcbryan (NHL '94 guy).
i noticed this general theme with a lot of the guys with whom i graduated university. they did not seek out mentorship/leadership and thought they knew it all. Many instantly became independent database software consultants upon graduation. Eventually, their incomes suffered accordingly.
So I'd say part of the leadership issue has to do with many esports luminaries unwillingness to seek mentorship... which again.. is probably an age thing.
if u feel i'm derailing your thread i think you can make it impossible for me to post in your blogs. However, i think my comments are basically on point.
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2nd Worst City in CA8938 Posts
I still do not understand what you're trying to say regarding StarCraft considering I don't mention it at all and am not talking about the death of anything.
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TLADT24920 Posts
On August 07 2015 07:20 Souma wrote:
I still do not understand what you're trying to say regarding StarCraft considering I don't mention it at all and am not talking about the death of anything.
I believe he's saying that newer leaders can learn from older ones and that the build-up Starcraft infrastructure as a whole is breaking down or something. I don't agree with his statements though. I'd rather someone who was passionate only looked at other examples after they have given a lot of thought into improving their game's coverage etc... Also, BW is thriving and becoming bigger by the day. Can't comment on SCII though.
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28076 Posts
Other than the writing actually being good this seems like something I might have wrote at some point starting out. Except the full time esports career stuff, I don't think that's really a goal of mine unless something changes
The part of this post I really identified most with was the first part about putting everything you have into your interests. As long as I can remember I've always had 1-2 interests at a time and my goal was always to be the best at it. Everything else in life falls to the wayside.
And I definitely know the feels on esports stuff interfering with life balance. There are times when I've put way more hours per week than a real full time job into TL/LD related things despite university and other things being in the way, and I haven't regretted any of it.
I should learn something from this blog which is go out and achieve your dreams. Not sure what mine are yet but I hope I can find the strength to strive for them someday.
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On August 07 2015 07:20 Souma wrote:
I still do not understand what you're trying to say regarding StarCraft considering I don't mention it at all and am not talking about the death of anything.
you have to read the entire sentence from beginning to end and not just focus on one word. it is ironic that i must say this when you state my reading comprehension is poor. the sentence compares one esports community that is very successful and pessimistic to another fledging community that is generally optimistic.
for 2 paragraphs you discussed esports in general and even used the plural form of community... in reference to any number of esports communities. the title of your blog is open ended and very general. the specific question asked was open ended and the conclusion of 2 very general paragraphs. i responded to it.
my original 8 line comment included several varied and diverse esports communities and compared their overall attitudes. i did not single out SC2 at any time.
and just for the record their are 2 forms of NHL '94 Hockey.. the SNES version and the Genesis version. The 2 communities have co-existed and co-operated for 20+ years.
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2nd Worst City in CA8938 Posts
Emu: <3
Jimmy: I know what're you saying, I don't know why you're saying it. The paragraph you initially quoted was describing the transition of esports in general from something that used to be smaller and fringe to something much bigger and popular, and although you list some outliers that doesn't really change the fact that esports is getting more popular on the whole.
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huh?
you asked a question. i answered it. and then gave the links to back it up.
when did i say esports was getting less popular on the whole.
the 2 sports based esports i listed are more popular than ever.
and the other communities.. i only referenced what a vocal minority is saying .. not what is in fact true.
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wow GL Souma, nice reading. best wishes
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2nd Worst City in CA8938 Posts
Thanks Topin!
Jimmy: I'm so confused as to why you quoted a passage and went on to say something pretty irrelevant, but I'm going to chalk this up to my being too stupid to understand the depths of JimmyJRaynor and call it a night.
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goodness gracious dude, I hope you're not this passive-aggressive in person
the paragraph in your essay he referenced seems to describe a paradox where as esports gets larger, passion becomes a less important reason for being involved with esports (in your opinion) while, at the same time, "esports communities" are still largely driven by passion. and you question how long that can last
jimmy mentions a couple of examples of extremely "outdated" games that still have communities driven by passionate people and at the same time get large-scale exposure. he also offhandedly ridicules the starcraft "dead gaem" doomsday prophets seeing as starcraft is bigger and younger and ought to last a long time longer. starcraft is not part of his core argument, he could have used cs:go or dota or any other relatively new esport in place of that, just to compare with his examples of tecmo and nhl '94
then you get defensively caught up in the one line about starcraft which doesn't even contradict the open-ended question you pose. if anything you are the one whose reading comprehension is at fault.
then you claim to know what he's trying to say, when you clearly don't. he is not "listing outliers". where did you get that from? tecmo and nhl '94? those are games that are still succeeding, so far on, because of the passion-driven people you mention in your question. where does he ever say that esports is not getting more popular on the whole?
and finally you cut him off with this gem
On August 10 2015 11:52 Souma wrote:
Jimmy: I'm so confused as to why you quoted a passage and went on to say something pretty irrelevant, but I'm going to chalk this up to my being too stupid to understand the depths of JimmyJRaynor and call it a night.
I think you misunderstood the point he was trying to make in response to the question you posed, and handled it quite immaturely.
anyways, best of luck in your esports endeavors
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EPT
