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Hello ladies and gents of TL.
I guess this is technically a "girl blog", but it's not really in the traditional sense as I'm not looking for advice on anything. I know exactly what I am going to be doing. I do not yet know the outcome of my actions or the exact rundown, but isn't that the biggest part of the fun of it all?
Rather than asking for advice, I just want to tell you a story of my past, present, and hopefully future. I am not sure why I am writing this at 0:42AM, considering i need to get up pretty early for a long day of university tomorrow, and I have never written something like this before. But I felt the urge to create a blog on this particular topic, so screw it, that's what's gonna happen here.
About two years ago, I got to know a girl at my university. We just happened to wait for the same lecture that just happened to be cancelled that day, unbeknownst to us, so we ended up spending the time we otherwise had spent in the lecture together just talking and stuff. Over the course of the conversation we realized that we actually attended several of the same lectures in that particular semester, and so we would look for each other and so on and so forth. You know what I mean, there was a clearly mutual attraction between us. Over like a month or two we became pretty close, both mentally as well as physically. We indulged in long, tight hugs, I caressed her hair, we exchanged small kisses and so on and so forth.
Before it went any further than that, she decided it was time to tell me the truth: she was already in a relationship with someone else, and while she was not particularly fond of her partner at the time and her parents would have much preferred her to be with someone else (I should add we were like 21 years old at the time, and to this day i find the remark about her parents very strange. It does not go in hand with her personality at all and it didn't back then either). So basically she told me she really wanted to be with me but she didn't want to be with me, if you catch my drift. I think the comfort of the familiar ended up outweighing the attraction of the unknown, considering that it would obviously have been a huge change in her life and they had been together for about four years at that point.
Obviously I wasn't happy, but I wasn't completely torn to shreds either. While I really liked her, I didn't feel undying love or anything like that, and other options were available (not trying to sound like a baller, which I'm not, but if you're studying at university at a faculty that consists of about 90% women, options are going to be available if you pursue them).
So we went our ways. She continued her old relationship, I had some short flings and stuff going on here and there. We maintained somewhat of a loose friendship, as there was - and is - genuine appreciation for the others character and personality beyond what physical attraction there may have been, and of course we ran into each other at university from time to time automatically. There was never any bad blood between us at all, but not much more than this loose acquaintance either.
Until about two months ago. We went for lunch together, which was something we did from time to time, as friends. But this time it was a little different. I could feel a certain vibe coming from her. She is a very composed person, but I did somewhat feel that she wanted me. At that time I didn't really want her in that sense, though, as I was preoccupied with another girl (about whom I could write more than one blog, but that's another story. Let's just say bitches be crazy).
During said lunch we discussed the fact that there was one exam we both kept pushing back as it is just really boring and difficult: the Latin exam. So we decided to take a course together in order to prepare for it. This was her idea and I agreed with it. For one month, we saw each other for about 3 hours a day four days a week at the Latin course, and sometimes we would go to eat before or after it together.
Long story short, the course is over, we both failed the exam, we have been seeing each other less than during the course but more than for the last year or so, and not by chance, and I feel like I really want her again. She clearly is into me as well. But her current partner is still there, and she still is very much a creature of habit.
What follows now is not "what should I do?" I know what I will do. I am just here to tell you, and perhaps to keep you updated as events unfold. What I will do, dear reader, is ask her out on a date, and if - or probably when - she agrees to it, I will adress the issue head-on at said date. This is what makes the most sense to me, offers closure if need be (for the second time) and I always feel really good and manly whenever I do something like that, regardless of the outcome.
 
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Just be careful dude. Girls love attention, and all sorts of it. She seems to genuinely like you, but if she's in a relationship with another guy that's a big issue. Even if a girl SAYS she's unhappy with a relationship, at the end of the day she's still with him, going home to him, kissing him, etc. It seems like she's weighing out her options, and if I were you I wouldn't take part in it. I would continue to be her friend, but don't go out of your way to make yourself appear as anything more or that you want anything more. Clearly when you did this the last time, it made her work harder for your attention and she came on twice as strongly to you. Show her that you care, but you're not going to just wait around for her to make up her mind. This will quickly cause her to decide to either continue in her unsatisfactory relationship, or go with you before you find something potentially bigger and better.
If you take her on the date, make sure she's aware it's a date and not a casual meetup. Just be like "Hey, I really want to spend some alone time with you tonight to talk" or something alike. Tell her how you feel, and accept her response whatever it may be. If she still says she wants to be in this other relationship respect that and pull back on the amount of attention you give her. Some girls like having a guy around to make them feel special, but never go 100% with them either because they don't have to, don't want to, or literally just haven't realized what they're missing out on yet.
Sorry, I know you didn't ask for help or advice or anything. But I've been in your situation before, and I felt compelled to respond as I know exactly how it feels. Just remember that it doesn't matter what a person says, but rather what they do. No matter how many times she says she would like to be with you, or is unhappy with the guy she's with, the bottom line is that she's still with him. Just show her a good time and take whatever comes. Good luck dude.
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1001 YEARS KESPAJAIL22272 Posts
Not enough racing/disneyland/Mongolia/attempted murder/blowup dolls/crying
1/5
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what could possibly go wrong with a girl who was sizing you up as the next handle she was swinging to
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So you're at a university where 90% of the people around you are female. I should be feeling sorry for you right now but I just can't.
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On October 30 2013 10:07 NeuroticPsychosis wrote:
So you're at a university where 90% of the people around you are female. I should be feeling sorry for you right now but I just can't.
I don't think there's any reason to feel sorry for him. Nothing bad happened so far.
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On October 30 2013 09:14 Shauni wrote:
just fuck her already
Why do you keep posting in girl blogs? Considering your track record with girls, nearly everything you say will be wildly incorrect and harmfully misleading to the people you're responding to. Furthermore, your highly abnormal opinions make spotting jokes exceptionally difficult; what would be hilarious sarcasm to most may be a sincere opinion on your part.
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Those who make the most disturbing and pathetic girl blogs are the same who go around giving advice to the other girl blogs. So it is, so it was, so will it always be.
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On October 30 2013 10:13 AnachronisticAnarchy wrote:Why do you keep posting in girl blogs? Considering your track record with girls, nearly everything you say will be wildly incorrect and harmfully misleading to the people you're responding to. Furthermore, your highly abnormal opinions make spotting jokes exceptionally difficult; what would be hilarious sarcasm to most may be a sincere opinion on your part.
I think it was more of a joke comment, considering the OP specifically said he wasn't looking for advice 
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Pandemona
Charlie Sheens House51433 Posts
Well.....First rule of women is never predict what they are thinking/feeling. Your nearly 99.9999% WRONG! I feel you might be miss leading yourself here and it could backfire on you.
This female clearly has no clue what she wants if she keeps coming back to you whilst being in a relationship of said amount of years. Even if your not doing much she clearly is trying something on if your feeling said vibe :S
I'd bail if i was you, unless she was really hot in which case i guess you can play along/make some moves see where it goes. But imagine if you did get in a relationship with this female, wouldn't you be constantly worried she was having an affair lol 0.O
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On October 30 2013 10:07 NeuroticPsychosis wrote:
So you're at a university where 90% of the people around you are female. I should be feeling sorry for you right now but I just can't.
Damn. The female population in my major is about 5/10%
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Sounds like she loves the attention. But it's not exactly like you have much you can do as long as there is her current bf in the picture. But if you really feel up too it you could tell her how you feel. Or just play the wait and see game.
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Stay the fuck away from that shit. Girls who pull the "I'm in a relationship and I'm unhappy about it, but I won't leave even though you're way better for me" are attention whores at best. At BEST.
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nunc est futandum. Numquam cunctare uictoriam fecit. Aleam iacias, stulte! Nihil tibi quod amittas.
User was warned for this post
edit: lol that's dumb.
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For claiming to like women some of you guys really hate women
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On October 30 2013 09:39 QuanticHawk wrote:
what could possibly go wrong with a girl who was sizing you up as the next handle she was swinging to
Oh man did I ever learn this lesson the hard way.
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On October 30 2013 10:07 NeuroticPsychosis wrote:
So you're at a university where 90% of the people around you are female. I should be feeling sorry for you right now but I just can't.
my department, not the whole university. I study English, so yeah. bitches love languages.
Also I feel like some of you are seriously lacking in reading comprehension. I said I'm not asking for advice. Obviously you're free to post some anyways, but quite frankly I do not care. I can see some of the points some of you made, but you can't really get a grasp of my situation at all because all you know about it is a few paragraphs I typed on the internet. Also I had already made up my mind before I posted this.
Additionally, there is no need to feel sorry for me and I didn't mean to indicate that anyone should. I can deal with this, it is not even stressful for me really. Besides, nothing has even happened yet.
I can also deal with rejection. Trust me, I've had more than enough chances to practice. What I can't deal with is uncertainty and the risk of missing out on an opportunity, which I've also done way too many times. Hence my plans on what I'm gonna do.
I still don't know why I'm writing all this, but thanks for reading I guess.
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I like the way you write - your post was an easy and enjoyable read.
what I do NOT like however is the fact that you tag this [girl blog] and then proceed to tell us you don't want any advice. what you've done now you little tease is left us girl blog trolls frustrated and aching for release. of our valuable insight and advice, that is.
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Since you have seemed to have made up your mind already, the only thing I can say is this: if she says no, ditch this girl completely. Stop hanging out with her, delete her from your facebook, and block her from your phone. It's a little extreme but you don't seem to get that she likes the fact that she always has a back up.
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EPT
