EPTIn your case it is possible that the girl you talked to is just one that doesn't like to talk to strangers and deals with it by staring at you strangely with an "is this guy talking to me" look until you stop. Not all girls are like that.
Talking to girls - Page 3
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obesechicken13
United States10467 Posts
In your case it is possible that the girl you talked to is just one that doesn't like to talk to strangers and deals with it by staring at you strangely with an "is this guy talking to me" look until you stop. Not all girls are like that. | ||
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r.Evo
Germany14054 Posts
If you throw out things like this: "Do you gym regularly?" "How do you usually work out?" "You should try out XXX machine, it's really good for working out your abs/legs/arms etc" "Are you a member at this gym?" "You look like a sporty person. Do you play sports?" "Oh you do? Which sport do you play?" "Oh you don't? Thats surprising. You should try out XXX sport. I do, and it's pretty fun!" ...or this: Hey? How are you doing? What is your line of work? Packaging? Oh wow, I heard that inspired Picasso to paint Guernica ...you will most likely not come off as an interesting person and it will also be why you can't keep a conversation rolling. You're not there to do an interview. When it comes to basic conversations there is no point about asking how she works out, what her job is or how she's doing. You want to aim for a light-hearted opening that is, ideally, something she can emotionally connect with. In case of OP specifically you seem to have no issue opening her, but you seem to have an issue continuing. First of all, there is no problem with opening her up and then dropping it again for a better moment. Say "hi", throw out a random statement while you're passing her and be done for the moment. Whether it's a "Cool shoes" / "NICE SEXY PINK HAIRBAND" / "Wow, you're cute" - it doesn't matter. Pick something that sparks your interest, and just blurt it out. It's only awkward if you literally walk up to her, say something and walk away. If you ever run into that case try to do damage-control among the lines of "I better get started, see you around~" or something similar. Try to avoid that spot tho. In general, just throw a smile in her direction when you see each other. She seems to be responding positively? Great, find spots to bust her balls in a way that you would with a buddy of yours. What you're saying exactly depends on your mood/humor/character. If your entire interaction during the time when you both actually aim to work out is about 20 seconds long, it's perfect. You're not there for an interview. You had a couple of comments each others way, and seem to not hate each other? Great, strike up an actual conversation after you're both done. Most gyms have bars or areas where people can relax and chill after they're done. Once more: You're not there for an interview. Don't ask stupid questions like "How was your day?" / "Do you come here often?" / "So.. what do you work?" - every random guy that walks up to her does that because they're not brave enough to do other things. Instead of asking questions, make statements. "I just had trouble with machine/exercise xyz, is that thing killing you too?" -> "God, machine/exercise xyz just killed me, I was so happy to see you suffer there afterwards!" "What do you work as?" -> "You seem so relaxed I bet you work as xyz. Do you? No? Come on, you're lying!" When she asks you questions feel free to expand on the answer. Don't fucking throw shit like "You should try out XXX sport. I do, and it's pretty fun!" at her, what kind of answer do you expect? You don't do a sport. You love a certain sport. "I climb and it's pretty fun!" vs "I love climbing whenever I can. You just go out there, you have the wind around you and it's just you and that damn wall that you're slowly but surely beating. And when you reach the top it's the best feeling ever. For one you usually get a great sight and on the other hand you can carefully look back down and feel how your stomach is turning around instantly." You don't want to be the guy who likes hip-hop, who is okay with rock and who does sports and things with friends in his free time. Be the guy who loves hip-hop, hates rock, loves rock climbing and hates spending time with random people that aren't fun to be around. Embrace your edges. When in doubt, throw out random pieces of info that you read/saw/heard about and just talk about them. "Now that I see that Turkish guy over there, have you heard about what's going on there at the moment? No? Okay, basically..." / "I've finished reading xyz yesterday and I loved that book. Have you heard of it? No? It's awesome, because..." ~ A couple of things like this and you can just hop from one topic to the next. "Remember how I talked about looking down from the top of a rock you just climbed? I never can get that image out of my head once I thought of it. I was SO TERRIFIED of heights when I was younger and stuff like that never really goes away. It was kind of fun when I was like 16 and a friend of mine convinced me that he just had to get me up on that tree since knowing how to climb would mean I will be less afraid of heights and then..." | ||
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Shebuha
Canada1335 Posts
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sluggaslamoo
Australia4494 Posts
If you are looking to pickup, its not what you say that's important its your general attitude and how you come off. So keep that in mind, if a girl is attracted to you, you can say something really stupid and she will think you are funny. Sometimes you don't need to say anything, just have a good vibe. If she's working out and she seems keen on you, just lightly give her some advice with some encouragement, it gives you a good excuse to touch her as well. Also if you are going to touch her, do it with confidence, her reaction will be completely different depending on whether you feel it is normal or not. If you feel it is weird, she will think its weird, if you feel its normal, she will feel its normal. Same goes with everything else. Remember that being good at talking to girls has nothing to do with being good at picking up, both are important skills but for different reasons. I've seen plenty of guys who "know how to talk to girls" yet find it very hard to actually pickup. A girl doesn't look at your conversational skills to figure out whether you are a good catch or not. A girl focuses on the subtle undertones, never of the substance, when you speak, she focuses on your voice and attitude, when you act, she focuses on your vibe, when you have an opinion, she focuses on how strong and unwavering it is. This is why girls like stupid assholes who just say dumb things and are really arrogant. So if you are worried about the fact you don't know what to say, know that it doesn't even matter, because she doesn't really look at that when figuring out who you are. Just maintain good posture, lead, act dominant, and let her "follow" you. Be in control and maintain a strong reality. | ||
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Polygamy
Austria1114 Posts
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sluggaslamoo
Australia4494 Posts
On June 21 2013 16:56 Polygamy wrote: The best thing you can do is try and feel them out and get them to talk about something they are interested in, then if you seem interested it will play out naturally. It really works to let them do most of the talking. It does however take some practice to figure out how to get people to talk about something they are interested in, think of it like you are detective, look at little things they show that suggest their hobbies or interest, and use those as prompts. You can try this with anyone in your life to get some practice, then when you talk to girls it will come naturally. Really most girls just want a guy who seem genuinely interested in them. While this seems very logical, often you will find girls who have no hobbies, no interests or aspirations. Their hobbies are clubbing, texting people on their phone, and talking to people on facebook, what is your advice then?  There's also the chance that girls will just bore themselves when you let them talk, if that happens, its your fault . Actually something girls are great at doing is subtly directing the conversation in a way that eventually ruins the moment. "My ex's girlfriend is such a slut, etc". I'm not saying you should never let them speak, but if you carry the conversation it leads to much better outcomes. There's nothing wrong with talking about yourself and what you love doing, and doing that the entire time. One time I talked about progamer APM to a complete stranger and she was like "omg that's awesome, etc" and ended up spending the whole night talking to her about nerdy shit she had no clue about but she stayed with me the entire time. Girls say a lot of things like, "I want a guy who really listens", and a lot of guys fall for that and never get anywhere. To guys, listening is about remembering what people say. To girls, the emotions conveyed are what is actually being "spoken", not the words. If you want to know how to listen to a girl, look at her directly in the eyes, and sincerely understand her emotional waves. When you respond, you should be responding to her emotions, rather than her words. | ||
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