Disclaimer: if you are easily offended or have a weak stomach, or poor control of your bowels, I suggest you leave now.
+ Show Spoiler +
In the history of StarCraft, there have been many exciting and legendary rivalries; Boxer vs Yellow, SaviOr vs Bisu, Flash vs Jaedong, and now, GGzerG (aka Telecom aka HR Paperstax) vs Randomko_Orean. The illustrious history of BroodWar, once thought to have concluded, has revealed that it's future will unfold like a red carpet to a metaphorical drunken Hollywood party with this new generation's rivalry of such epic proportions that I am unworthy to even type on this shoddy keyboard about such walking god-men who have declared a holy war in the heavens above us mere mortals for the future of THE GLOBE. The mother of all battles is now upon us, and the universe hangs by the thread of fate as these two prepare to unfurl hellfire upon each others' armies in some weird alternative realm of existence where undead Protoss warriors stumble around like drunken High School freshmen, and acid-spitting giant bats can fly through space.
And yes, I mean Dragoons and Mutalisks.
But look, guys. Shit just got real. I don't even think I need to post the Badboys 2 video from Youtube, as at this point, it would get redundant. All you need to know is that this is unbelievably epic. Someone asked me earlier, "Hey Nina, did you see the games between Zergman and Sky?" and I was like "Psh fuck no. I'm too excited to see motherfucking GGzerG vs Randomko_Orean."
It all started here. Our nice friend Savi[wOk] was giving Telecom an interview when suddenly, Randomko_Orean ran up on-stage, grabbed the mic and said "Ay, I'm really happy for you, and I'mma let you finish, but Beyonce had one of the best videos of ALL TIME, YO, and also you weren't in any of those US West Korean clans." Telecom replied with, "YOU DON'T KNOW ME, YOU DON'T KNOW ME!" like those 12-year-girls on Maury who get booed when they come on stage.
This prompted Randomko_Orean to dictate the following letter to Telecom:
Dear Sir,
Thine continence is that of a wench, and I do hereby find your claims to belonging to various Asians' gentlemen's clubs to be scrupulously insincere and perhaps even downright dubious if I do say so myself! Therefore, I wager you a duel - two pistols, twenty paces - and may the best man win! As a gentleman of integrity, I must digress from this thesis of dissemblement by yourself to inform you that I hath fornicated with your biological mother, whom, as a maiden, I regard to be lowly and scandalous.
Cheerio,
Randomko_Orean
That thread can be found here.
Quotes
+ Show Spoiler +
Here are some of the quotes that will define us as a generation forever:
On September 14 2012 15:14 randomKo_Orean wrote:
You are trash. And when I mean that you are trash, I don't mean as in player (we already know that you inflated both your skills and ego), but as a human being.
You are trash. And when I mean that you are trash, I don't mean as in player (we already know that you inflated both your skills and ego), but as a human being.
On September 14 2012 15:41 GGzerG wrote:
You do not know me, keep the random false accusations coming. I hope you are enjoying yourself. The only reason you asked for perma-ban match bo1, is because you knew I wouldn't accept it, why didn't you ask for a bo3 ect non perma ban grudge match? Because you knew I would have accepted it? zzzzz.....
You do not know me, keep the random false accusations coming. I hope you are enjoying yourself. The only reason you asked for perma-ban match bo1, is because you knew I wouldn't accept it, why didn't you ask for a bo3 ect non perma ban grudge match? Because you knew I would have accepted it? zzzzz.....
On September 14 2012 15:46 randomKo_Orean wrote:
Alright then, bitch, BO3 Permaban match. I'm being generous.
Alright then, bitch, BO3 Permaban match. I'm being generous.
On September 15 2012 03:01 randomKo_Orean wrote:
He's guilty of being a scum of the earth and all-around failure of a human being.
Oh and I looked for cafe.daum sites for Shield and [Name] and what not, and I can't find you anywhere on the member's list. Get that shit out of your signiture.
On another note:
90 day temp ban means nothing to me; I want this asshole IP-banned from TL.
He's guilty of being a scum of the earth and all-around failure of a human being.
Oh and I looked for cafe.daum sites for Shield and [Name] and what not, and I can't find you anywhere on the member's list. Get that shit out of your signiture.
On another note:
90 day temp ban means nothing to me; I want this asshole IP-banned from TL.
On September 15 2012 03:07 ninazerg wrote:
I'm starting to get a sense that there may be some underlying hostility here.
I'm starting to get a sense that there may be some underlying hostility here.
On September 15 2012 03:08 randomKo_Orean wrote:
No, there's open hostility here.
No, there's open hostility here.
On September 16 2012 05:40 GGzerG wrote:
I'm not going to be able to play the gm for a week or so because of working 6 days a week and with my current free time i'm playing / streaming SC2 untill the grandmasters week ends, it is a little more important than going to practice BW so I can play vs an angry child that wants a grudge match lol, If you can't wait a lil bit then i'm sorry. And I will need time to practice as well, so i'm not planning on doing anything till after grandmasters week in SC2, which ends sept. 18th, a short time after that would be fine , so I could also have a little time to practice. Thanks.
I'm not doing any type of grudge match where the stakes is permanent banned or 90day ban or anything having to do with bans, i'm not interested in that type of stake, sorry.
I'm not going to be able to play the gm for a week or so because of working 6 days a week and with my current free time i'm playing / streaming SC2 untill the grandmasters week ends, it is a little more important than going to practice BW so I can play vs an angry child that wants a grudge match lol, If you can't wait a lil bit then i'm sorry. And I will need time to practice as well, so i'm not planning on doing anything till after grandmasters week in SC2, which ends sept. 18th, a short time after that would be fine , so I could also have a little time to practice. Thanks.
I'm not doing any type of grudge match where the stakes is permanent banned or 90day ban or anything having to do with bans, i'm not interested in that type of stake, sorry.
On September 16 2012 11:06 randomKo_Orean wrote:
THEN WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU WRITE THE FIRST PARAGRAPH ON THE FIRST PLACE?
THEN WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU WRITE THE FIRST PARAGRAPH ON THE FIRST PLACE?
On September 16 2012 14:33 GGzerG wrote:
When did I say I would not play? Does every grudge match have to play with stakes of temp / permanent ban? I don't even think past grudge match's ever had any banning from TL having to do with it, I said I am not interested in playing a grudge match where the stakes are the loser gets banned from TL. So that is the only stake at hand? I didn't know that, did puppykiller get banned / temp banned when he lost to whoever in his grudgematch? Because I was under the impression he didn't.
I think it's just a bunch of delusional haters want me banned from TL, it is also kind of funny, sad and pathetic when you say it is a proven fact that i am a bad person in real life too random korean lol, what the hell... I think maybe 2 people from TL know me in real life...how are you planning on proving that one though?
Are you that simple minded that the only stake you can think of in a grudge match is that the loser gets perma / temp banned? lol
When did I say I would not play? Does every grudge match have to play with stakes of temp / permanent ban? I don't even think past grudge match's ever had any banning from TL having to do with it, I said I am not interested in playing a grudge match where the stakes are the loser gets banned from TL. So that is the only stake at hand? I didn't know that, did puppykiller get banned / temp banned when he lost to whoever in his grudgematch? Because I was under the impression he didn't.
I think it's just a bunch of delusional haters want me banned from TL, it is also kind of funny, sad and pathetic when you say it is a proven fact that i am a bad person in real life too random korean lol, what the hell... I think maybe 2 people from TL know me in real life...how are you planning on proving that one though?
Are you that simple minded that the only stake you can think of in a grudge match is that the loser gets perma / temp banned? lol
On September 16 2012 15:01 randomKo_Orean wrote:
Dodges Bo1 permaban match, implying permaban bo1 is stupid and pointless
-> dodges bo3 permaban match, implying permaban match overall is pointless
-> dodges tempban match, saying he needs practice and doesn't have time and wants to play SC2
-> THEN PROCEEDS TO SAY "WHEN DID I SAY I WOULD NOT PLAY?? 1) the other people didn't get banned from losing their grudgematches, 2) how simple minded I am for not being able to go think of other stakes, 3) we're all delusional and hating because we're totally jelly, 4) "how do you know what kind of person i am? prove me that i'm a bad person in real life."
Progression of Telecom's remembering his dodges/replies & how he sees himself throughout in this thread.:
at least Cartman is funny
I refuse to give you even the slightest illusion that I would ever dodge, because knowing your fucked-up brain, somehow if I stop caring to play you because the stakes are almost/non-existent (by the way, even 90 day tempban was way too low of a bet for me), you are somehow going to convince yourself "haha randomko_Orean hedodged. henoob. hemad? lolol," so fuck you.
There's no shame in losing.
There's shame in being an utter and complete failure of a human being.
Dodges Bo1 permaban match, implying permaban bo1 is stupid and pointless
-> dodges bo3 permaban match, implying permaban match overall is pointless
-> dodges tempban match, saying he needs practice and doesn't have time and wants to play SC2
-> THEN PROCEEDS TO SAY "WHEN DID I SAY I WOULD NOT PLAY?? 1) the other people didn't get banned from losing their grudgematches, 2) how simple minded I am for not being able to go think of other stakes, 3) we're all delusional and hating because we're totally jelly, 4) "how do you know what kind of person i am? prove me that i'm a bad person in real life."
Progression of Telecom's remembering his dodges/replies & how he sees himself throughout in this thread.:
at least Cartman is funny
I refuse to give you even the slightest illusion that I would ever dodge, because knowing your fucked-up brain, somehow if I stop caring to play you because the stakes are almost/non-existent (by the way, even 90 day tempban was way too low of a bet for me), you are somehow going to convince yourself "haha randomko_Orean hedodged. henoob. hemad? lolol," so fuck you.
There's no shame in losing.
There's shame in being an utter and complete failure of a human being.
On September 16 2012 15:41 GGzerG wrote:
lol, you're logic is so flawed it is ridiculous, so you are saying im a failure of a human being because I don't want to play a grudgematch for ban's lol, that is so funny. Why are you so angry? You are really ridiculous.
lol, you're logic is so flawed it is ridiculous, so you are saying im a failure of a human being because I don't want to play a grudgematch for ban's lol, that is so funny. Why are you so angry? You are really ridiculous.
On September 16 2012 16:18 randomKo_Orean wrote:
You are not a failure of a human being because you dodged.
You are a failure of a human being because somehow inflating your skills and your connections with people (in this case, Korean clanmasters) makes you a better person, rather than what you actually do and what you strive to be.
You are a failure of a human being because you have invalid reasoning and shitty reading comprehension, and pass them off as logic and intelligence.
You are a failure of a human being because you can't admit to anyone, including yourself, that maybe you aren't really that "cool," and maybe something needs to change.
You are a failure of a human being because you make really lame and shitty excuses, all while fronting like you are better than anyone else.
You are a failure of a human being because you think people berating on you and your attitude do it because people are jealous and delusional, even though they explicitly give you LOGICAL reasons (that most people would agree with) why they do not condone your behavior.
You are a failure of a human being because you are such a fucking loser of a douchebag, (online out of all places, that numerous people call you out on your bullshit, you call it "another random accusations" midst of all the evidence that's been presented.
You are not a failure of a human being because you dodged.
You are a failure of a human being because somehow inflating your skills and your connections with people (in this case, Korean clanmasters) makes you a better person, rather than what you actually do and what you strive to be.
You are a failure of a human being because you have invalid reasoning and shitty reading comprehension, and pass them off as logic and intelligence.
You are a failure of a human being because you can't admit to anyone, including yourself, that maybe you aren't really that "cool," and maybe something needs to change.
You are a failure of a human being because you make really lame and shitty excuses, all while fronting like you are better than anyone else.
You are a failure of a human being because you think people berating on you and your attitude do it because people are jealous and delusional, even though they explicitly give you LOGICAL reasons (that most people would agree with) why they do not condone your behavior.
You are a failure of a human being because you are such a fucking loser of a douchebag, (online out of all places, that numerous people call you out on your bullshit, you call it "another random accusations" midst of all the evidence that's been presented.
On September 17 2012 05:51 GGzerG wrote:
Too many simple minded fools who will just hate someone at the drop of a dime because others do, not many people think for themselves anymore. That's ok though, I can't wait to play this grudgematch.
Too many simple minded fools who will just hate someone at the drop of a dime because others do, not many people think for themselves anymore. That's ok though, I can't wait to play this grudgematch.
On September 17 2012 13:31 Game wrote:
Trying to smurf you day in and day out, you caught me.
Trying to smurf you day in and day out, you caught me.
(oh snap)
On September 18 2012 00:13 randomKo_Orean wrote:
Time: September 22nd, Friday, 9pm PST
Channel: rkvstelecom on Iccup
Format: Bo5
Maps:
FS
HBR (rk's pick)
[Telecom's pick]
Tau Cross
Destination
Stakes: If RK wins - Sig change & every time this grudgematch is mentioned/reference whether explicitly or implicitly, Telecom cannot whine or reason or bitch or make excuses or bullshit. (Only thing he's allowed to do is say in lines of "yeah, I lost")
If Telecom wins - Permaban for rK
Delayed Stream/casting
This is totally reasonable.
Do accept the terms and conditions of this grudgematch? (I will only accept yes or no)
PS. I changed my winning stakes because I don't want to hear your excuses. That's the reason I got rid of your 1000 words essay shit, because I don't want to hear your excuses.
Time: September 22nd, Friday, 9pm PST
Channel: rkvstelecom on Iccup
Format: Bo5
Maps:
FS
HBR (rk's pick)
[Telecom's pick]
Tau Cross
Destination
Stakes: If RK wins - Sig change & every time this grudgematch is mentioned/reference whether explicitly or implicitly, Telecom cannot whine or reason or bitch or make excuses or bullshit. (Only thing he's allowed to do is say in lines of "yeah, I lost")
If Telecom wins - Permaban for rK
Delayed Stream/casting
This is totally reasonable.
Do accept the terms and conditions of this grudgematch? (I will only accept yes or no)
PS. I changed my winning stakes because I don't want to hear your excuses. That's the reason I got rid of your 1000 words essay shit, because I don't want to hear your excuses.
On September 18 2012 00:16 Kipsate wrote:
Now this is how you do a grudgematch, take notes people.
Now this is how you do a grudgematch, take notes people.
On September 18 2012 05:38 GGzerG wrote:
I've never seen such a crybaby bitch in my life.
I've never seen such a crybaby bitch in my life.
On September 18 2012 05:41 GGzerG wrote:
You are such a fucking dick for saying that you think I am poor on TL, and that you are a better person than me, thats ok though, I understand you still must be raging like the newb you are after how badly I beat you.(editor note: referring to Game, but still hilarious rage-filled insult)
You are such a fucking dick for saying that you think I am poor on TL, and that you are a better person than me, thats ok though, I understand you still must be raging like the newb you are after how badly I beat you.(editor note: referring to Game, but still hilarious rage-filled insult)
On September 18 2012 05:57 randomKo_Orean wrote:
pick your fucking map already. holy fuck, it's not that fucking hard. fucktard.
pick your fucking map already. holy fuck, it's not that fucking hard. fucktard.
On September 18 2012 09:00 RAGEMOAR The Pope wrote:
I request Chill to cast. Also, no casters should be sober.
I request Chill to cast. Also, no casters should be sober.
On September 18 2012 23:52 Chill wrote:
Throughout this thread I'm kind of cheering more and more for Telecom. He seems to be the lesser dick of the two.
Throughout this thread I'm kind of cheering more and more for Telecom. He seems to be the lesser dick of the two.
On September 19 2012 04:52 supernovamaniac wrote:
And then we realize that they were smurfing on each other's account.
Inception.
And then we realize that they were smurfing on each other's account.
Inception.
On September 19 2012 05:05 ninazerg wrote:
Possible grudgematches:
This list includes SC2 people coming back over to BroodWar to play.
Sayle vs Johny23
Game vs Scan
Game vs Joekim
IdrA vs OctZerg
Rush vs Bibiane
Scan vs himself
Chill vs Combat-EX 2
GeckoXp vs Pholon
Game vs Eonzerg
Semih vs StorrZerg
Anyone from the 2x2 ladder (they all hate each other)
NinaZerg vs Messer
NinaZerg vs Eywa
Dsaqwe vs Scan
2pacalypse vs Eywa
Kiante vs Game
mca64 vs Eywa
Draw vs Game <- do it
Puppykiller vs Kiante 2
Eywa vs pretty much anyone in the D-rank leagues
GeckoXp vs Eywa (lawl)
Messer vs Game
Artosis vs Day[9] for revenge for what happened at the WCG
Eriador vs Game 2
etc.
Possible grudgematches:
This list includes SC2 people coming back over to BroodWar to play.
Sayle vs Johny23
Game vs Scan
Game vs Joekim
IdrA vs OctZerg
Rush vs Bibiane
Scan vs himself
Chill vs Combat-EX 2
GeckoXp vs Pholon
Game vs Eonzerg
Semih vs StorrZerg
Anyone from the 2x2 ladder (they all hate each other)
NinaZerg vs Messer
NinaZerg vs Eywa
Dsaqwe vs Scan
2pacalypse vs Eywa
Kiante vs Game
mca64 vs Eywa
Draw vs Game <- do it
Puppykiller vs Kiante 2
Eywa vs pretty much anyone in the D-rank leagues
GeckoXp vs Eywa (lawl)
Messer vs Game
Artosis vs Day[9] for revenge for what happened at the WCG
Eriador vs Game 2
etc.
On September 19 2012 07:05 puppykiller wrote:
Pre Match Ideas:
1. Teletubby dances drunk while swinging his skt Tshirt above his head. At some point his girlfriend enters the room and dumps a bucket of money on his head while he dances.
2. TL celeb ffa or 3v3 or something.
3. Chill streams himself being a mod. He bans people and closes threads (would be very cool!).
4. No prematch entertainment. Instead viewers spend time gathering snacks and soda, opening a tab of porn and fapping to it hastily with cheetoh stained hand and indulging themselves in the BW vs SC2 argument that is bound to happen in the chat.
Pre Match Ideas:
1. Teletubby dances drunk while swinging his skt Tshirt above his head. At some point his girlfriend enters the room and dumps a bucket of money on his head while he dances.
2. TL celeb ffa or 3v3 or something.
3. Chill streams himself being a mod. He bans people and closes threads (would be very cool!).
4. No prematch entertainment. Instead viewers spend time gathering snacks and soda, opening a tab of porn and fapping to it hastily with cheetoh stained hand and indulging themselves in the BW vs SC2 argument that is bound to happen in the chat.
Randomko_Orean's nice side shines through the anger:
On September 19 2012 08:01 randomKo_Orean wrote:
You need a hug. Not a grudgematch.
But I'm not dodging, bring it on.
You need a hug. Not a grudgematch.
But I'm not dodging, bring it on.
On September 19 2012 08:55 Shock710 wrote:
Some epic shit going down here
Some epic shit going down here
On September 19 2012 09:21 Chef wrote:
Now everyone feels bad. Way to go you two.
Loser has to send their opponent a teddy bear and a formal apology.
Now everyone feels bad. Way to go you two.
Loser has to send their opponent a teddy bear and a formal apology.
On September 19 2012 09:43 puppykiller wrote:
Needs more rage, somebody offend someone. GAME DO SOMETHING!
Needs more rage, somebody offend someone. GAME DO SOMETHING!
On September 20 2012 03:36 randomKo_Orean wrote:
FUCK YOU TELECOM I'M GOING TO BEAT YOUR ASS DOWN ON SATURDAY I'VE BEEN PRACTICING LIKE HELL
FUCK YOU TELECOM I'M GOING TO BEAT YOUR ASS DOWN ON SATURDAY I'VE BEEN PRACTICING LIKE HELL
On September 20 2012 08:38 Quanticfograw wrote:
i really hope telecom takes a dump on random koreans chest, just as his mother likes it
i really hope telecom takes a dump on random koreans chest, just as his mother likes it
Specs:
NAME: RANDOMKO_OREAN
WEIGHT: 219.382926128 LBS
HEIGHT: 6'7
PENIS SIZE: 331 CM
RACE: RACE-CHANGER
FAVORITE CEREAL: COCOA PUFFS
OCCUPATION: "SALES"
QUOTE: "TELECOM, YOU ARE MADE OF PUSSY. MAYBE THAT'S WHY ALL YOUR CLAIMS SMELL FISHY. THIS WEEK, I WILL STOMP YOUR FACE INTO A PILE OF FRESH GIRAFFE FECES."
VERSUS
NAME: GGZERG AKA TELECOM
WEIGHT: 230 LBS OF PURE MUSCLE
HEIGHT: 6'10
PENIS SIZE: 356 CM
RACE: RACE-TAMER
FAVORITE CEREAL: HE HAS WAFFLES FOR BREAKFAST, MOTHERFUCKER
OCCUPATION: PART-TIME FOOD INDUSTRY GUY
QUOTE: "RK, I AM GOING TO FOLD YOU UP INTO AN ORIGAMI CRANE, AND SET YOU GENTLY INTO THE WATER, THEN BLOW SOFTLY ON YOU TO MAKE YOU PEACEFULLY FLOAT OUT INTO THE LAKE, THEN I'MMA THROW A NUCLEAR BOMB IN THE LAKE, AND BLOW EVERYTHING THE FUCK UP."
Rules:
1. Maximum rage is required from both players.
2. I strongly advise both players to write some good diss-jokes/insults before playing.
3. Casters must say tons and tons of absolutely ridiculous shit at all times, including inaccurate game assessments, random stories that have nothing to do with anything, must insult both players equally, must have drank at least 1 bottle of Mike's Hard Lemonade.
4. Viewers must type in ALL CAPS in the stream chat or will be banned instantly.
5. Bakuryu can do whatever he wants, and can break all the rules.
6. Rule 5 also applies to Chill.
7. Rule 7 once actually existed, but then I changed my mind.
8. Maphacks are discouraged, wink wink.
9. Don't mess with Texas.
10. If Alfio shows at moscow lan, there might be actual battle
11. All the standard rules of gravity apply.
12. Thou shall not covet they neighbor's wife, but feel free to covet thy neighbor's husband.
Maps:
Fighting Spirit
New Heartbreak Ridge
Neo Medusa
Tau Cross
Destination
First map is Fighting Spirit, loser picks the next map. No map can be picked twice.
Channel: rkvstelecom
Format: Best of Five, races can be random or picked/switched at the last second
Date and Time: 22nd Saturday 9:30pm PST / 23rd Sunday 12:30am (midnight) EST
Caster:
+ Show Spoiler +
ADOLF HITLER!!!!
Puppykiller (aka Puppyhitler aka Riley Escobar) vill make sure there ist order in this cast. He will be accompanied by the very large, and always extremely offensive LRM)Game. They will say things that will make hardened U.S. Marines shriek like little girls. There will be words used that you didn't even realized existed in the English vocabulary as vulgarities, combining words together, like "He's being a vaginafuck" or "This reaver drop is like an incestuous pile of fuck." or "He plays like a robot... the faggotron 9000, that is."
About the casters:
Puppyhitler - Puppyhitler is a combination of Puppykiller and Adolf Hitler. He hates Protoss and has proposed a "final solution to the Protoss problem" by exterminating them. In his book, "Mein Kuntf", he has laid out a plan to troll the internet really really hard.
Game - Game's catchphrase is "SC is like sex. You should play often, but never too hard. And you should only try hard when it matters." which of course, is a fucking contradiction. Let's break this down, shall we?
"SC is like sex" <- Not even a remotely good analogy. But this would explain his love for timing pushes................
"You should play often, but never too hard." <- Apparently, sex is a video game from 1998 that you should play often. Okay, we'll go with that. He leaves us with the advice that we should NEVER NEVER NEVER play too hard.
"And you should only play hard when it matters." YOU JUST SAID WE'RE NEVER SUPPOSED TO PLAY HARD, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!? WHY!? WHEN DOES "IT" NOT MATTER!? WHY WHY WHY WHY!?!?!?!?!? ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH
Game is my husband of 13 years, and we live together in Topeka, Kansas. We often argue and fight, but we really love each other very much. Most of our arguments are based on stuff that is typed on video-game forums, which we both agree is quite silly and trite, and laugh about it merrily over a glass of red wine every evening while watching Pawn Stars.
ANSWER THE CALL OF SAYLE
On September 18 2012 16:53 Sayle wrote:
Poll: Who do you think will win?
randomKo_Orean (60)
81%
GGzerG (14)
19%
74 total votes
GGzerG (14)
74 total votes
Your vote: Who do you think will win?
Poll: Who do you want to win?
randomKo_Orean (63)
81%
GGzerG (15)
19%
78 total votes
GGzerG (15)
78 total votes
Your vote: Who do you want to win?