Except the sound, you should get a proper mic setup like djwheat etc. Surprising you haven´t when you dedicate so much time into these (Not just sc2) online videos
I only made it about 10 minutes into the cast, skipped to a bit of lategame.
Your game analysis is very, very poor and in some instances wrong. I would avoid doing it as much as possible.
You speak in short bursts of words without much excitement and long pauses during and in between sentences. Your stats sound like you're reading off of liquipedia.
At the beginning of the game, after player introductions, you should pan around the map a bit and explain the features of each map, to give "newb" viewers a chance to see the entire map.
I would watch the entire game beforehand since you're casting from replays; you miss a lot of the action going on because you don't watch the minimap. Maybe write down what happens so you can adequately cover drops or have a partner move the screen for you.
On August 24 2012 05:25 Facultyadjutant wrote: Evertything is awesome!
Except the sound, you should get a proper mic setup like djwheat etc. Surprising you haven´t when you dedicate so much time into these (Not just sc2) online videos
Sound only sucks on XSplit local recording. I still can't figure out why. The settings look as identical as possible to my stream settings. If you watch cast #1, the intro and outro have great sound quality because I use my webcam software, then when I switch to the in-game cast, the quality turns shittier. At least with this cast it's uniform!
On August 24 2012 05:40 RAGEMOAR The Pope wrote: I only made it about 10 minutes into the cast, skipped to a bit of lategame.
Your game analysis is very, very poor and in some instances wrong. I would avoid doing it as much as possible.
You speak in short bursts of words without much excitement and long pauses during and in between sentences. Your stats sound like you're reading off of liquipedia.
At the beginning of the game, after player introductions, you should pan around the map a bit and explain the features of each map, to give "newb" viewers a chance to see the entire map.
I would watch the entire game beforehand since you're casting from replays; you miss a lot of the action going on because you don't watch the minimap. Maybe write down what happens so you can adequately cover drops or have a partner move the screen for you.
That is INCREDIBLY stupid to avoid analysis. I only learn from trying, and if I don't commit without being afraid of being wrong, I will never improve.
I also disagree on my lack of emotion. Perhaps I need more, but I improved vastly from cast #1 and I think it's pretty decent burst in the right spots.
I do watch the game beforehand, but not too much. A real casting job would not have this possible, so I want to practice the hard stuff. Game knowledge and player knowledge (especially on Vortix) is lacking, but I'm working on it and it will come with time. To avoid it would put me in a rut and be idiotic...
Good call on the beginning of the game advice, though.
It's not stupid to avoid a weakness. Shaq didn't try to play point guard. He dunked the ball like he was supposed to. Stick to your strengths. Your pretty, outgoing etc etc. Focus on those things among others and make them shine. Make people forget that your game insight is below par. Most casters have a select few key things going for them. Your game analysis is never going to be like day9. Don't try to be a jack of all trades.
On August 24 2012 05:40 RAGEMOAR The Pope wrote: I only made it about 10 minutes into the cast, skipped to a bit of lategame.
Your game analysis is very, very poor and in some instances wrong. I would avoid doing it as much as possible.
You speak in short bursts of words without much excitement and long pauses during and in between sentences. Your stats sound like you're reading off of liquipedia.
At the beginning of the game, after player introductions, you should pan around the map a bit and explain the features of each map, to give "newb" viewers a chance to see the entire map.
I would watch the entire game beforehand since you're casting from replays; you miss a lot of the action going on because you don't watch the minimap. Maybe write down what happens so you can adequately cover drops or have a partner move the screen for you.
That is INCREDIBLY stupid to avoid analysis. I only learn from trying, and if I don't commit without being afraid of being wrong, I will never improve.
I also disagree on my lack of emotion. Perhaps I need more, but I improved vastly from cast #1 and I think it's pretty decent burst in the right spots.
I do watch the game beforehand, but not too much. A real casting job would not have this possible, so I want to practice the hard stuff. Game knowledge and player knowledge (especially on Vortix) is lacking, but I'm working on it and it will come with time. To avoid it would put me in a rut and be idiotic...
Good call on the beginning of the game advice, though.
If you want to do analysis, please play a lot more games, watch a lot more tournaments, read forums, and improve your game knowledge. Right now, it's like listening to a third grader lecturing on thermodynamics; you're way out of your league.
I can barely tell the difference from your "exciting" voice to "explanatory" voice. It's flat and boring.
I only recommend watching the game beforehand and taking notes because you're highly inexperienced. You miss a lot of important things. Think of it as going into a game with a general gameplan and your build order on a piece of paper next to you. Right now you aren't good enough to "wing it" like major tournament casters.
On August 24 2012 08:34 FullNatural wrote: It's not stupid to avoid a weakness. Shaq didn't try to play point guard. He dunked the ball like he was supposed to. Stick to your strengths. Your pretty, outgoing etc etc. Focus on those things among others and make them shine. Make people forget that your game insight is below par. Most casters have a select few key things going for them. Your game analysis is never going to be like day9. Don't try to be a jack of all trades.
I never got where I am today in anything thinking like this, and I will never adopt this kind of attitude. If I applied myself, I can be the best. Shaq doesn't do whatever because of his body type, this is completely different. I don't believe I am leagues stupider than every analytical caster, nor am I handicapped...
Of course I will be playing many games, and watching tournaments, and slowly improving, and failing at first. Thus is life.
On August 24 2012 08:34 FullNatural wrote: It's not stupid to avoid a weakness. Shaq didn't try to play point guard. He dunked the ball like he was supposed to. Stick to your strengths. Your pretty, outgoing etc etc. Focus on those things among others and make them shine. Make people forget that your game insight is below par. Most casters have a select few key things going for them. Your game analysis is never going to be like day9. Don't try to be a jack of all trades.
I never got where I am today in anything thinking like this, and I will never adopt this kind of attitude. If I applied myself, I can be the best. Shaq doesn't do whatever because of his body type, this is completely different. I don't believe I am leagues stupider than every analytical caster, nor am I handicapped...
Of course I will be playing many games, and watching tournaments, and slowly improving, and failing at first. Thus is life.
Name one good analytical caster who's not in masters / gm league.
By your reasoning you should be able to solve the following problem in a few, attempts. After all, it's just a mental exercise.
Given the specific heat of water at 100MPA and 15 °C given cp = 4.1855 [J/(g·K)] (15 °C, 101.325 kPa). Use both the Peng-Robinson and virial equation of state for your calculations.
On August 24 2012 08:34 FullNatural wrote: It's not stupid to avoid a weakness. Shaq didn't try to play point guard. He dunked the ball like he was supposed to. Stick to your strengths. Your pretty, outgoing etc etc. Focus on those things among others and make them shine. Make people forget that your game insight is below par. Most casters have a select few key things going for them. Your game analysis is never going to be like day9. Don't try to be a jack of all trades.
I never got where I am today in anything thinking like this, and I will never adopt this kind of attitude. If I applied myself, I can be the best. Shaq doesn't do whatever because of his body type, this is completely different. I don't believe I am leagues stupider than every analytical caster, nor am I handicapped...
Of course I will be playing many games, and watching tournaments, and slowly improving, and failing at first. Thus is life.
Name one good analytical caster who's not in masters / gm league.
By your reasoning you should be able to solve the following problem in a few, attempts. After all, it's just a mental exercise.
Given the specific heat of water at 100MPA and 15 °C given cp = 4.1855 [J/(g·K)] (15 °C, 101.325 kPa). Use both the Peng-Robinson and virial equation of state for your calculations.
If it was my goal to be able to solve problems like this, I would learn to do it.
And OF COURSE I want to league up and get to Masters league. I think I can be in Platinum/Diamond with pretty good analysis if I am focusing directly on this, watching games, and absorbing knowledge, though. I'm not looking to be perfect by attempt #2, or even #10. This is a career I want to make, it takes time.
Such poor arguments on your part. You act as if I am sitting here in Silver/Gold league telling you I won't do anything more to improve, and by tomorrow will magically be better than Day9. Hah!
On August 24 2012 08:34 FullNatural wrote: It's not stupid to avoid a weakness. Shaq didn't try to play point guard. He dunked the ball like he was supposed to. Stick to your strengths. Your pretty, outgoing etc etc. Focus on those things among others and make them shine. Make people forget that your game insight is below par. Most casters have a select few key things going for them. Your game analysis is never going to be like day9. Don't try to be a jack of all trades.
I never got where I am today in anything thinking like this, and I will never adopt this kind of attitude. If I applied myself, I can be the best. Shaq doesn't do whatever because of his body type, this is completely different. I don't believe I am leagues stupider than every analytical caster, nor am I handicapped...
Of course I will be playing many games, and watching tournaments, and slowly improving, and failing at first. Thus is life.
Name one good analytical caster who's not in masters / gm league.
By your reasoning you should be able to solve the following problem in a few, attempts. After all, it's just a mental exercise.
Given the specific heat of water at 100MPA and 15 °C given cp = 4.1855 [J/(g·K)] (15 °C, 101.325 kPa). Use both the Peng-Robinson and virial equation of state for your calculations.
If it was my goal to be able to solve problems like this, I would learn to do it.
And OF COURSE I want to league up and get to Masters league. I think I can be in Platinum/Diamond with pretty good analysis if I am focusing directly on this, watching games, and absorbing knowledge, though. I'm not looking to be perfect by attempt #2, or even #10. This is a career I want to make, it takes time.
Such poor arguments on your part. You act as if I am sitting here in Silver/Gold league telling you I won't do anything more to improve, and by tomorrow will magically be better than Day9. Hah!
My point is this: You do not have the proper tools to analyze a game of starcraft. Watching you try to analyze the games is the equivalent of you trying to solve that problem tonight. There are much more important things for you to focus on, like having flowing, coherent sentences and interesting things to say. You gain nothing by analyzing the games at your current understanding.
On August 24 2012 08:34 FullNatural wrote: It's not stupid to avoid a weakness. Shaq didn't try to play point guard. He dunked the ball like he was supposed to. Stick to your strengths. Your pretty, outgoing etc etc. Focus on those things among others and make them shine. Make people forget that your game insight is below par. Most casters have a select few key things going for them. Your game analysis is never going to be like day9. Don't try to be a jack of all trades.
I never got where I am today in anything thinking like this, and I will never adopt this kind of attitude. If I applied myself, I can be the best. Shaq doesn't do whatever because of his body type, this is completely different. I don't believe I am leagues stupider than every analytical caster, nor am I handicapped...
Of course I will be playing many games, and watching tournaments, and slowly improving, and failing at first. Thus is life.
By your reasoning you should be able to solve the following problem in a few, attempts. After all, it's just a mental exercise.
Given the specific heat of water at 100MPA and 15 °C given cp = 4.1855 [J/(g·K)] (15 °C, 101.325 kPa). Use both the Peng-Robinson and virial equation of state for your calculations.
Your example is just silly and is not a adequate depiction of her reasoning at all. It's not simply a mental exercise when the problem requires domain knowledge and contains impeding terminologies that hinder you from solving the problem. I can easily give you questions outside your field of expertise, label it as a mental exercise, then call you out for being unable to solve it.
You get to masters/gm by playing, the exact same thing that the masters players are doing to improve, among other things. Tara is casting in order to improve, and i dont see how thats not productive. Shes also doing other things, like playing and watching sc2.
Also, there are several casters who are not masters/gm, total biscuit and dj wheat are some examples.
On August 24 2012 08:34 FullNatural wrote: It's not stupid to avoid a weakness. Shaq didn't try to play point guard. He dunked the ball like he was supposed to. Stick to your strengths. Your pretty, outgoing etc etc. Focus on those things among others and make them shine. Make people forget that your game insight is below par. Most casters have a select few key things going for them. Your game analysis is never going to be like day9. Don't try to be a jack of all trades.
I never got where I am today in anything thinking like this, and I will never adopt this kind of attitude. If I applied myself, I can be the best. Shaq doesn't do whatever because of his body type, this is completely different. I don't believe I am leagues stupider than every analytical caster, nor am I handicapped...
Of course I will be playing many games, and watching tournaments, and slowly improving, and failing at first. Thus is life.
Name one good analytical caster who's not in masters / gm league.
By your reasoning you should be able to solve the following problem in a few, attempts. After all, it's just a mental exercise.
Given the specific heat of water at 100MPA and 15 °C given cp = 4.1855 [J/(g·K)] (15 °C, 101.325 kPa). Use both the Peng-Robinson and virial equation of state for your calculations.
If it was my goal to be able to solve problems like this, I would learn to do it.
And OF COURSE I want to league up and get to Masters league. I think I can be in Platinum/Diamond with pretty good analysis if I am focusing directly on this, watching games, and absorbing knowledge, though. I'm not looking to be perfect by attempt #2, or even #10. This is a career I want to make, it takes time.
Such poor arguments on your part. You act as if I am sitting here in Silver/Gold league telling you I won't do anything more to improve, and by tomorrow will magically be better than Day9. Hah!
My point is this: You do not have the proper tools to analyze a game of starcraft. Watching you try to analyze the games is the equivalent of you trying to solve that problem tonight. There are much more important things for you to focus on, like having flowing, coherent sentences and interesting things to say. You gain nothing by analyzing the games at your current understanding.
it still does not hurt to keep doing it. you learn by doing. one day when she has a better understanding she can look back on these videos and see things that are wrong. it'll only help in the long run. seriously why do you have such a big problem with this
On August 24 2012 05:40 RAGEMOAR The Pope wrote: I only made it about 10 minutes into the cast, skipped to a bit of lategame.
Your game analysis is very, very poor and in some instances wrong. I would avoid doing it as much as possible.
You speak in short bursts of words without much excitement and long pauses during and in between sentences. Your stats sound like you're reading off of liquipedia.
At the beginning of the game, after player introductions, you should pan around the map a bit and explain the features of each map, to give "newb" viewers a chance to see the entire map.
I would watch the entire game beforehand since you're casting from replays; you miss a lot of the action going on because you don't watch the minimap. Maybe write down what happens so you can adequately cover drops or have a partner move the screen for you.
That is INCREDIBLY stupid to avoid analysis. I only learn from trying, and if I don't commit without being afraid of being wrong, I will never improve.
I also disagree on my lack of emotion. Perhaps I need more, but I improved vastly from cast #1 and I think it's pretty decent burst in the right spots.
I do watch the game beforehand, but not too much. A real casting job would not have this possible, so I want to practice the hard stuff. Game knowledge and player knowledge (especially on Vortix) is lacking, but I'm working on it and it will come with time. To avoid it would put me in a rut and be idiotic...
Good call on the beginning of the game advice, though.
If you want to do analysis, please play a lot more games, watch a lot more tournaments, read forums, and improve your game knowledge. Right now, it's like listening to a third grader lecturing on thermodynamics; you're way out of your league.
I can barely tell the difference from your "exciting" voice to "explanatory" voice. It's flat and boring.
I only recommend watching the game beforehand and taking notes because you're highly inexperienced. You miss a lot of important things. Think of it as going into a game with a general gameplan and your build order on a piece of paper next to you. Right now you aren't good enough to "wing it" like major tournament casters.
This post is actually really good advice.
You could cast a game you KNOW someone good has casted, then watch the videos side by side and understand what the differences are, and importantly how they're doing it so much better. And then practice, practice, practice. Even if that means casting the same game 10x in a row, just so you can get comfortable doing everything 'perfect' in terms of what people enjoy in a cast, then slowly being able to do that consistently to fresh games.
But you really have to target one weakness at a time until it's improved substantially to improve as rapidly as possible (at least this is what i've noticed). Even people we disagree with often have very valid points underneath the stuff we dont like in their words
On August 24 2012 05:40 RAGEMOAR The Pope wrote: I only made it about 10 minutes into the cast, skipped to a bit of lategame.
Your game analysis is very, very poor and in some instances wrong. I would avoid doing it as much as possible.
You speak in short bursts of words without much excitement and long pauses during and in between sentences. Your stats sound like you're reading off of liquipedia.
At the beginning of the game, after player introductions, you should pan around the map a bit and explain the features of each map, to give "newb" viewers a chance to see the entire map.
I would watch the entire game beforehand since you're casting from replays; you miss a lot of the action going on because you don't watch the minimap. Maybe write down what happens so you can adequately cover drops or have a partner move the screen for you.
That is INCREDIBLY stupid to avoid analysis. I only learn from trying, and if I don't commit without being afraid of being wrong, I will never improve.
I also disagree on my lack of emotion. Perhaps I need more, but I improved vastly from cast #1 and I think it's pretty decent burst in the right spots.
I do watch the game beforehand, but not too much. A real casting job would not have this possible, so I want to practice the hard stuff. Game knowledge and player knowledge (especially on Vortix) is lacking, but I'm working on it and it will come with time. To avoid it would put me in a rut and be idiotic...
Good call on the beginning of the game advice, though.
If you want to do analysis, please play a lot more games, watch a lot more tournaments, read forums, and improve your game knowledge. Right now, it's like listening to a third grader lecturing on thermodynamics; you're way out of your league.
I can barely tell the difference from your "exciting" voice to "explanatory" voice. It's flat and boring.
I only recommend watching the game beforehand and taking notes because you're highly inexperienced. You miss a lot of important things. Think of it as going into a game with a general gameplan and your build order on a piece of paper next to you. Right now you aren't good enough to "wing it" like major tournament casters.
This post is actually really good advice.
You could cast a game you KNOW someone good has casted, then watch the videos side by side and understand what the differences are, and importantly how they're doing it so much better. And then practice, practice, practice. Even if that means casting the same game 10x in a row, just so you can get comfortable doing everything 'perfect' in terms of what people enjoy in a cast, then slowly being able to do that consistently to fresh games.
But you really have to target one weakness at a time until it's improved substantially to improve as rapidly as possible (at least this is what i've noticed). Even people we disagree with often have very valid points underneath the stuff we dont like in their words
Since people have been criticizing your analysis, I'll give it a listen and point out where it sounds terribly wrong or bad. For reference I've been GM twice with protoss, also high masters with random. I am multitasking while doing this so I will probably not notice subtle errors that I would if I were paying full attention.
Also my first time watching game 5, which I heard was a crazy good comeback.
Not an analysis point, but why does your sound sound so... canny? Something off-putting about your mic and the copious background canning effect.
You mentioned Supernova going reactor hellion to pressure before speed. Also note that Vortix gets gas right after queen in order to be able to speed fast enough to deal with this - he often likes to use more lings than others might, rather than more than 4 queen.
Small thing you could note when Vortix retook mid from hellions while doing muta harass a bit after 11:00. Reasoning on the ling is that when his muta first went in, Supernova didn't react in time and lost a lot of things, then finally marines started coming in, but in a disorganized manner. Now as they approach in force, Supernova's attention is likely fixated on the muta engagement. At this time Vortix sends his lings in to mid to take it, as he will lose least amount of units when Supernova is not focused on that engagement or does not notice it altogether - and it is easier to initiate multiple simultaneous fronts than it is to defend them. Thus Vortix takes the role of the initiator. Initiator vs defender is a focal point of many engagements, and often the attempt to gain the position of the initiator and force the defender onto the opponent is the reason for non-fully commital engagements.
Actually I'm a bit confused thus far (15 min in) what the "wrong analysis" parts refer to, as I'm not actually hearing anything I consider analysis as opposed to play by play.
You completely missed that Vortix was actually in the upper hand tactically and close to even strategically at 16:00 despite the supply disparity. Basically Supernova was too heavily invested in medivacs, not enough bio buffer, and was out of position with his bio at the gold, thus creating a fungal trap whilst simultaneously eroding all cover he might have had for his tanks. This in addition to ultras leading meant the ling buffer was unharried and quickly showed that Vortix's army was superior. It's really a matter of where the supply is, and in what composition, rather than the supplies themselves. This is something you can through experience, or someone explaining a lot of it to you. Also these are the types of cases that one tends to screw up on the spot while casting, due to not being able to project the "casting environment" whilst simultaneously analysing each situation dispassionately.
Yea there really isn't much analysis, so idk what people are complaining about. For instance at 19:20 at the crucial moment at the 4th, it's really completely play by play. For instance the positioning of Supernova's army suggested he wanted to create a ground funnel, thus not anticipating the broodlords fully (if at all). Given the scenario of the ground funnel, then what he did has plenty of time to work, as the primary issue is having his bio fungaled should they clump up for a moment. However, given that Vortix had broodlords coming, and in those numbers, the time buffer Supernova thought he had was actually an overestimate, so he needed to commit more bio units to hitting the hatchery if he wanted it down in time. Either way, it was a very close underestimation, as the 26 hp on the hatchery shows. However since Supernova probably would've overcompensated a bit in that situation since that base was the focal point of the zerg, it actually was probably a much larger swing than the 26 hp suggested in Supernova's mind. At this point the advantage, both in game and mentally, flips to Vortix. An aside is that Supernova was in a bind when it comes to retreating, as should he leave the choke, he's in prime position to be overrun by Vortix (even in the ground only situation), as hie medivac count meant that his bio buffer was anemic, thus causing extreme problems vs ling ultra infestor, which overrides any supply disparity that existed in the game.
Hmm rest of game is just people winging it really with some heuristics gained from practice so not much to say. Basically Supernova being dead and not wanting to be dead.
Hmm, well it certainly was a comeback, but not as crazy as I expected from hearsay lol.
On August 24 2012 17:52 EtherealDeath wrote: Since people have been criticizing your analysis, I'll give it a listen and point out where it sounds terribly wrong or bad. For reference I've been GM twice with protoss, also high masters with random. I am multitasking while doing this so I will probably not notice subtle errors that I would if I were paying full attention.
Also my first time watching game 5, which I heard was a crazy good comeback.
Not an analysis point, but why does your sound sound so... canny? Something off-putting about your mic and the copious background canning effect.
You mentioned Supernova going reactor hellion to pressure before speed. Also note that Vortix gets gas right after queen in order to be able to speed fast enough to deal with this - he often likes to use more lings than others might, rather than more than 4 queen.
Small thing you could note when Vortix retook mid from hellions while doing muta harass a bit after 11:00. Reasoning on the ling is that when his muta first went in, Supernova didn't react in time and lost a lot of things, then finally marines started coming in, but in a disorganized manner. Now as they approach in force, Supernova's attention is likely fixated on the muta engagement. At this time Vortix sends his lings in to mid to take it, as he will lose least amount of units when Supernova is not focused on that engagement or does not notice it altogether - and it is easier to initiate multiple simultaneous fronts than it is to defend them. Thus Vortix takes the role of the initiator. Initiator vs defender is a focal point of many engagements, and often the attempt to gain the position of the initiator and force the defender onto the opponent is the reason for non-fully commital engagements.
Actually I'm a bit confused thus far (15 min in) what the "wrong analysis" parts refer to, as I'm not actually hearing anything I consider analysis as opposed to play by play.
You completely missed that Vortix was actually in the upper hand tactically and close to even strategically at 16:00 despite the supply disparity. Basically Supernova was too heavily invested in medivacs, not enough bio buffer, and was out of position with his bio at the gold, thus creating a fungal trap whilst simultaneously eroding all cover he might have had for his tanks. This in addition to ultras leading meant the ling buffer was unharried and quickly showed that Vortix's army was superior. It's really a matter of where the supply is, and in what composition, rather than the supplies themselves. This is something you can through experience, or someone explaining a lot of it to you. Also these are the types of cases that one tends to screw up on the spot while casting, due to not being able to project the "casting environment" whilst simultaneously analysing each situation dispassionately.
Yea there really isn't much analysis, so idk what people are complaining about. For instance at 19:20 at the crucial moment at the 4th, it's really completely play by play. For instance the positioning of Supernova's army suggested he wanted to create a ground funnel, thus not anticipating the broodlords fully (if at all). Given the scenario of the ground funnel, then what he did has plenty of time to work, as the primary issue is having his bio fungaled should they clump up for a moment. However, given that Vortix had broodlords coming, and in those numbers, the time buffer Supernova thought he had was actually an overestimate, so he needed to commit more bio units to hitting the hatchery if he wanted it down in time. Either way, it was a very close underestimation, as the 26 hp on the hatchery shows. However since Supernova probably would've overcompensated a bit in that situation since that base was the focal point of the zerg, it actually was probably a much larger swing than the 26 hp suggested in Supernova's mind. At this point the advantage, both in game and mentally, flips to Vortix. An aside is that Supernova was in a bind when it comes to retreating, as should he leave the choke, he's in prime position to be overrun by Vortix (even in the ground only situation), as hie medivac count meant that his bio buffer was anemic, thus causing extreme problems vs ling ultra infestor, which overrides any supply disparity that existed in the game.
Hmm rest of game is just people winging it really with some heuristics gained from practice so not much to say. Basically Supernova being dead and not wanting to be dead.
Hmm, well it certainly was a comeback, but not as crazy as I expected from hearsay lol.
Wow, thanks so much! This helps a lot to see the game from a more analytic perspective. I feel that I have a better understanding of how much someone can miss in a game with an untrained eye. I think I'm slowly getting better at picking things up when I watch.
This was kind of like reading a transcript from a cast. I can read it and I don't miss things because of a fast pace, and more detail was put into it as well.
Don't ever mention first supply depot and first overlord unless you're pointing out something interesting (like positioning, overlord pathway etc.). Always try to explain what the build/ingame situation means => fast cc = econ oriented build, how can enemy counter it etc. - instead of simply describing what's happening. You're doing a decent job of this already but there's still room for improvement imo. Since you're doing analysis of your casts I don't think this will be a problem. good luck