I should write one myself actually.
-Mynock
Forum Index > General Forum |
Mynock
4492 Posts
I should write one myself actually. -Mynock | ||
iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
-iNcontroL | ||
Hot_Bid
Braavos36362 Posts
On December 21 2006 14:24 fanta[Rn] wrote: even though I'm aware that Hot_Bid's story makes fun of me and my story, I liked it =) it doesnt make fun of yours | ||
ganja
United States11 Posts
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SKITTLES ACT ONE, SCENE A A 17 year old and his father are riding in a Pontiac convertible. The song "Fix You" by Coldplay is playing in the background. They are driving along a road until up ahead the light turns yellow, and the father slows down. Son: C'mon, you can make it. Father: A year ago, probably. The son hesitates, as if to say something and then stops. The car comes to a stop, and the son looks over at his father. Son: I'm really glad you're back, Dad. Father: Me too Chris. Son: We all missed you a lot. Mom let Rover sleep on her bed so it didn't feel too empty. The father chuckles. Father: Yeah she told me. Sometimes I was afraid she was going to choose him over me. Son: Naw. You're back aren't you? She wouldn't leave someone who could fight like you. Father: Yeah you're right. I'll never have to struggle like that again. The light turns green. CUT TO: ACT ONE, SCENE B Two teenagers, about 17 years of age, are in a convenience store. One is pouring a Slurpy while the other is standing next to him. They are laughing and joking around. They are obviously friends. Teen A: So what did she say? Teen B: Ryan, she told me to go to hell! The two kids burst out laughing. Teen B finishes pouring his drink and they both walk over to the register. Teen B: You aren't getting anything? Ryan: Ehh, I'm not that hungry. Ryan eyes the candy below the counter. Ryan: Actually I'll get some skittles. Both kids pay for their food and walk out of the store. Ryan opens his bag of skittles, gets an astonished look on his face, dumps out all the skittles and opens the bag so that it is one long wrapper. Ryan: Oh...my...God... CUT TO: ACT ONE, SCENE C The father and son pull into the parking lot of the convenience store, out of site of teenagers from previous act. They enter the store and pass a lottery machine. As the father speaks his tone is as if there is pain in his voice, yet firm at the same time. Son: Hey dad, wanna buy a lottery ticket? Father: No way. The son smiles. Son: You were right. CUT TO: ACT ONE, SCENE D Ryan and his friend are in a Jeep, Ryan in the drivers seat. The song "Dance with the Devil" by Immortal Technique thumps through the stereo of his car. Ryan's friend is very excited about something. Friend: So dude, what are you going to do with the $50,000? Ryan: Man I could buy the most bad ass sound system with this. People would hear me coming into school from a mile away. Both kids laugh, and Ryan looks to the left. When he sees the father and son inside the store, his smile immediately is wiped from his face. He stares at them for about 5 seconds, and then his friend sees them too. Friend: Oh dude... Ryan looks forward again, and speaks through gritted teeth. Ryan: I never liked that kid. Ryan drops his head down slightly and rests his forehead in his left hand, eyes closed, pondering. Suddenly he looks up again, pauses, and quickly opens his door as if he were trying to quickly escape his car. CUT TO: ACT ONE, SCENE E The father and son exit the store carrying a bag each. As the father approaches the drivers door, he sees an unfolded wrapper wedged between his seat, with the inside facing down. The son doesn't see it until the father picks it up and inspects it. Son: What's that? The father doesn't answer right away. He appears to be in a dreamy state, eyes glazed over. Suddenly the father comes out of the state like he didn't know what was happening. He looks stunned and slightly shaken. Father: Just...Just some trash The father puts the wrapper in his pocket. They get in the car and drive off. Without switching camera angles, the camera drops to the curb to a pile of Skittles adorned by scattered broken glass. | ||
suxN
Finland1167 Posts
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ganja
United States11 Posts
Bar Harbor Deputy Corie Hadley was walking down main street sipping coffee when he heard two gun shots coming from the Wawa behind him. Unholstering his gun, he dropped his drink and took off in a sprint towards the gas station. Fifty feet ahead, he saw two hooded men barge through the door and run towards a car just pulling out from getting gas. Hadley continued to run, changing his course from the Wawa to the car, growing closer. "Freeze!" Hadley screamed with his gun pointing ahead. The two robbers glanced over and a panicked look fell over them. Approaching the car now, one hopped in the front seat while the other followed and jumped in the back. With Hadley growing closer, the car came to a confusing stop. Seconds later, it jumped forward and began speeding off. Hadley stopped, squared himself while taking aim, and shot three times towards the rear window. The red sedan began turning and hit a curb near the exit. The two men immediately exited and sprinted towards a nearby patch of trees. Hadley, approaching the car now, saw blood splattered all over the front windshield with two bullet holes in it. He changed his view from the car to the men as he began to pass the car, and then back to the drivers seat. What he saw made him stop dead in his tracks and caused his heart to skip a beat. It was an old woman, over 80 years old. Hadley didn't wait to be fired. Within three days he had packed his belongings, resigned from the force and, still in shock, headed north with his girlfriend April. She had sandy blonde hair, blue eyes and a slim figure. Hadley considered himself lucky to have her in his life. It took him six hours of driving before he could talk about what had happened. "I didn't know it was an old woman driving. Damn it, she probably had grandkids," Hadley said. "Of course you didn't know," April spoke softly. "You cannot blame yourself for what happened. You were doing your job." "Yeah, I guess," Hadley admitted, getting off an exit. Hadley planned on marrying April within a month, and from what he understood she was all for it. "We need to find a new town. Somewhere we can start a life together. I'll get a job and everything will be fine," Hadley said, not sure if he was trying to convince her or himself. "What job do you plan on supporting our new family with?" April asked. "You've been with the police all your life." "I'll find something. I was always good at adapting to new skills," he said. "Well, lets think. What are you good at, what can you do?" April mused. Hadley paused momentarily and then spoke, "I can kill somebody." The town was called Bar Harbor. During the summer months it attracted many people, but for now was a quiet town with cottages lining the shoreline, many deserted for the time being. Hadley pulled up to a motel towards the center of town and parked. "Here?" April asked, with a touch of disgust in her voice. "This place will be great," Hadley said. "It may not seem like much now, but just wait. Come summer time it will be the happening place." April didn't seem very convinced, but followed him into the motel anyway. They checked out two rooms side by side since April refused to share a room until they got married. After a restless nights sleep from both of them, they went separate ways the next day. Hadley was in search of a job, and April an apartment. Hadley checked out three places, all denying work, and the fourth place he checked into told him, "You should check out the sheriff's office. You seem like big guy, he's been looking for somebody recently." "Thanks," Hadley replied and left. He sat in his car for 15 minutes before going to the sheriff's office. "The names Chuck Wade and yeah, I could definitely use somebody," The sheriff said. "Actually just fired this position last week," but offered nothing more about that. "These cottages along the coastline are usually empty during this time of the year, and sometimes kids break into them to party or steal stuff. The owners really expect them to be protected, so your job will be to patrol around at night and make sure everything is in check." "Right, I got it," Hadley said. He hesitated, then asked, "Will I have to cary a gun?" "Absolutely," the sheriff said enthusiastically, expecting the same reaction from Hadley. When he saw the disappointed look on his face, he inquired about it. "I was on the force back where I used to live." Hadley told him about what had happened. "I see," the sheriff said when he had finished speaking. "Well, you shouldn't run into any problems like that up here." With that the sheriff took out a revolver and handed it to Hadley. "Come on," he said. "I'll show you your route and you can get started tonight." After being out most of the day with the sheriff, he returned to the motel later that night to find April reading. She spoke first. "I didn't find an apartment, but I found a job down at the supermarket." "That's really good," Hadley said. "I found a job too," but then paused. They looked at each other for a few moments and April knew she wasn't going to like what he was about to say. "Well, what is it?" she said. "I got a job patrolling the town at night. I have to carry a gun." "Corie you killed somebody less than a week ago. How can you carry a gun around?" "I don't know. I'm telling you now though, it's not going to leave the holster. I just have it because I have to." Hadley felt the cold weight of the gun against his leg as he spoke. "Well I better go get ready to go out, I start tonight." As he turned to leave the room, he said "I love you." April looked down at her book, and replied with an automatic, but seemingly meaningless (at least to Hadley), "I love you too," back. That night Hadley made his run around the town and decided to stop for a couple minutes at a bar. He went in and entered a smoky, loud environment. He ordered one drink, and was sipping it when a stranger approached him. "So you're the new deputy, huh?" The twenty-something asked. Hadley turned to him and responded, "Yeah, what's it to you?" "That was my job just last week," the stranger said. Hadley sized him up and saw he was a big guy. "Did the sheriff ever tell you why he fired me?" The stranger asked while chuckling. "I didn't ask," Hadley said and finished his drink. "Well, I better be going," he said while turning to leave. The stranger put his hand on Hadley's shoulder and forcibly turned him around. "The names Preston, and I'll be seeing you around," he said seriously. Suddenly he cracked a big smile and walked away laughing. Hadley didn't see April until the next night before he started work. She had started her job at the supermarket, and although it seemed like she should be happy their new lives were shaping up, she seemed distant. She wasn't her talkative, bubbly self. Hadley took her word for it that it was just the recent stress and headed off for his job. He stopped by the sheriffs office before heading out. "Hey Chuck," Hadley said. "I ran into somebody last night. A Preston." The sheriff's eyes narrowed. "He didn't give you any trouble did he?" he asked. "No, but I don't have a good feeling about it. He told me to ask you about why you fired him." "Do you really want to know?" The sheriff asked. "No, it's not my business." "Good," Wade replied. "If he gives you anymore trouble, let me know." Hadley nodded and left on that note. The next night Hadley decided to take April out to dinner to try and cheer her up. Despite his best efforts, it didn't seem to be working. And worse, he realized she hadn't mentioned marriage at all anymore, something she used to dream about before they had moved. After dinner he drove April back to the motel and began his route on a gloomy note. About two hours into his shift, he decided to stop by the bar again. Immediately upon entering he spotted Preston, who was leaning against the opposite wall, staring right back at him. When Preston saw Hadley enter, he smiled and walked over. "Evening, deputy," Preston said, taking a seat next to Hadley. "You wouldn't believe who I saw tonight." Hadley wasn't interested but replied anyway. "Who?" "That blonde babe of yours." Hadley's head snapped towards Preston. "Excuse me, what the fuck did you just say?" Hadley demanded, standing up. Preston burst out laughing. "Easy deputy. I saw her at the Diner down the street." "Yeah, she was with me," Hadley said harshly. "Oh I see. Well thats quite a catch you got there. You better watch yourself, a fine woman like that might not stick around for long." "We plan on getting married," Hadley said, but could tell Preston wasn't convinced. "Riiight," Preston replied. He stood up, and meeting eyes with Hadley said, "Have a good night" and left the bar. Hadley walked out seconds behind him and watched Preston drive off. After his shift, Hadley tried sleeping but couldn't. Finally after a couple hours, he decided to go out and surprised April at her job and hoped they could have lunch together. Walking into the supermarket, he spotted her at a couple registers down, chatting and laughing with a customer like old friends. He froze when he saw who it was. Preston was standing there joking with his girlfriend. Hadley turned around and walked around the block a few times, thinking about what he had just seen. After about ten minutes he reentered the store and saw April standing there with no customers, picking her nails. "Hey April," Hadley said. "Who was your friend?" He tried to sound casual. "What friend?" "I passed by a little bit ago and saw you chatting with somebody." "Oh Preston. He's been coming here recently, he's really funny." She said. "He's just some customer," she said when she saw the raised eyebrow on Hadley. On her break, April went down the street with Hadley to a small restaurant. She seemed to be in a good mood, yet at the same time very distant. Hadley was troubled by this and thought about her for the rest of the day. Before his shift that night, he stopped by the Sheriffs office to let him know he was about to begin. "Hey Hadley," the sheriff began. "My wife was wondering if you and your girlfriend wanted to come over for dinner on your night off next Monday." Hadley thought for a moment and said, "That would be great. We'd love to come." The following Monday came quickly. Corie and April went over to the Wade's at 6:30 and sat down at a large table. Over dinner they talked about the town, how it got started and what its like during the summer. Mrs. Wade was a very nice lady and after dinner April offered to help her clean up the dishes. Mrs. Wade accepted, and Hadley and Chuck went out on the porch to smoke cigars. "Chuck, there's been something I've been meaning to ask you," Hadley started. "You want to know why I fired Preston?" The sheriff asked. Hadley nodded. "Well I suppose there's no reason for me to keep it from you. Preston was an alright deputy, but, well, he did things while on the job. He would take girls up to the cottages and fool around. I just couldn't have that kind of thing going on while he was working. I approached him about it several times, and after the third time of me finding out, I had to let him go." Hadley nodded, blowing smoke rings into the calm winter air. "Oh, by the way," Chuck said. "I made up a list of numbers of all the places around town that you might be during your shift, in case April needed to get in touch with you." On the car ride home Hadley tried talking to April but she was being very unresponsive. He handed her the list of numbers the sheriff had given him, and after a quick glance, stuffed it into her purse. They arrived back at the motel and went their separate ways without saying goodnight to each other. The following night Hadley had been making his routine stops and eventually dropped by the bar, once again. He noticed Preston wasn't there tonight and wondered where he could be. Hadley hadn't been able to get April off his mind all night, and although it was late decided to call her. There was no answer. Perplexed, he ordered a drink and waited a couple minutes. When he phoned her a second time with no answer, he knew she was out. This caused him to be very suspicious. When he exited the bar, he saw Preston's familiar car drive by, with a woman in the front seat by not able to tell who it was. Hadley quickly jumped into his car and followed them to a cottage 10 minutes down the road. He parked down the street and watched the two go in, but in the dark night was not able to see much. Although very tempted to go in, he resisted the urge as he was not up to confronting Preston just then. After awhile of waiting, he continued his routine around the town and ended his shift later than usual. "If that was April last night," Hadley thought driving home, "I...I don't know what I'd do to her." After April's shift on Tuesday, Hadley confronted her about the night before at the motel. "Hey, where were you last night?" he asked her. Without taking her eyes from the television, she replied "What do you mean?" "Well I called her and nobody answered." "Oh," she said. Intent on the television, she said "I went out to a movie." Turning to him, she said "It gets lonely here every night being alone. Can't you understand that?" "I can understand that just fine," Hadley said, and walked back to his room without saying anything else. Hadley was restless for the remainder of the night, and was happy to get out of the motel and start his shift. He stopped by the bar after only one time around the town and ordered a large drink. Halfway done his drink, he suddenly realized Preston wasn't at the bar once again. A thought suddenly struck his mind, and without finishing his drink left and headed back to the motel. His mind was racing, and when he went back to the motel he saw April was out, her bed undisturbed. Jogging back to his car, he sped off towards the cottage that Preston had been at the night before. Once again he saw Preston's car parked outside, and parking down the street, Hadley quietly approached the house. Upon closer inspection he found a side window open and he entered the house through that. Inside all was quiet and he inspected the downstairs. When he got to the stairs he saw a coat hanging on the railing that looked exactly like April's. "That doesn't prove anything," Hadley thought. Trying to see if it was hers, he began searching the pockets. In one of the pockets he pulled out a crumpled piece of paper with lipstick on it. He unfolded it and stared at it in shock. It was the list of numbers the sheriff had given Hadley. "Okay, now I know," he thought enraged. He walked up the stairs and heard mumbled whispers coming from a door directly in front of the stairs. He waited outside the cracked door for a moment and put his hand on his gun. "Preston?" Hadley finally said loudly. He heard somebody jump up quickly in bed. "What the fuck?" He heard Preston's voice from inside. Hadley kicked down the door, pulled his gun out, and without thinking shot six times into the bed, emptying the chamber. Breathing heavily, he walked over to the bed and turned on a bedside lamp. Preston lay in bed, bloody and dead. Across from him was another body but concealed under the sheets. "That God damned bitch," Hadley thought. He walked over and pulled back the sheets. What he saw made him let out a scream and he shuddered backwards. It wasn't April. It was Mrs. Wade, the sheriffs wife. This time he knew there'd be no new town, no new life. But he had to get out of there. He had to keep moving. Running. | ||
Hot_Bid
Braavos36362 Posts
by Hot_Bid * * * * * Mike suddenly realized that his clothes had been done twenty minutes ago. "Shit!" "What?" his roommate Will asked from his desk. "I need to do my laundry. Want to come?" As soon as Mike extended the polite invitation, he regretted doing so. "No, I'm really busy right now. But my laundry's down there in the wash. Could you do me a favor and put it in a dryer? I'll pay you. It's washing machine C5 or C7 or something. If you're not sure, look for some really ugly orange sweatpants." Mike was now caught in a moral dilemma that further delayed his errand. It would be obnoxious to refuse, as loading a dryer is simple enough a task. However, Will was always asking for favors, and enough was enough. It was time to take a stand. "Ass," Mike said. "What?" "Load it yourself. You're always so lazy. It'll take like five minutes." "But.. but.. I'll pay you extra if you want," Will pleaded. Mike could see it now: My roommate forces me to pay him for little favors, what a jerk! Will would say. "Hell no. You come down or your laundry stays in the washer." "Fine, let me get dressed. Get the elevator, I'll be right out." Will moved towards his closet. Victorious, Mike happily headed out the door and to the elevator. He pressed the button. Still excited over his victory, Mike almost did not notice a figure coming down the hallway. It was the hot girl from down the hall. She made little heat lines in the air around her. She was wearing loose fitting sweat pants that tightened around her hips, and a casual but distinctive top. She carried detergent and a laundry basket. Mike had seen her before, and relished the opportunity of an elevator ride with her. She pressed the already lit "down" button. Mike was still trying very hard not to stare when the elevator opened. He got in after her, and the doors almost closed when he remembered he had to hold it. "Shit!" Mike thrust his arm out and stopped the doors. "My roommate is coming, sorry." He exited the elevator, his arm still preventing the doors from closing. Hot girl frowned a bit but waited. And waited. The next half-minute crawled by. Mike nervously glanced down the hall. No sign of Will. Get the elevator, I'll be right out, he had said. I'll be right out, he had said. I'LL BE RIGHT OUT. "He'll be right out," Mike said. The girl nodded. Silence. Mike was sweating. He had to say something. The void had to be filled. "Um... what are you going downstairs for?" "Uh, to do some laundry?" Hot girl slightly lifted her laundry basket and detergent for emphasis. She was not smiling. "Cool." It was definitely not cool. It was actually the dumbest, most awkward, most uncool question ever. Silence. With one last, defeated look down the hall, Mike finally caved. "You can go down first, I guess." "Thanks," she said. Mike heard her press what he could only presume to be "door close" repeatedly. The doors closed with her hot, hot body inside the elevator. Will chose this time to emerge from his room. He walked down the hall and pressed the "down" button. "Ass," Mike said. | ||
rANDY
United Kingdom748 Posts
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ilovezil
United States4143 Posts
Carma for you -_- Now I wanna write a short story, gonna work on one tomorrow all day at work -_-; | ||
IntoTheWow
is awesome32257 Posts
me and some friends went to this party but by the time we got there it was almost over so we went to a diner and i got some food and it was like $5 but i only had a $10 and the waiter guy came back with the bill and i put the $10 in and he was like 'are you all set' and my friend was like 'yea' but when the waiter walked away i was like dude i wasnt all set because i needed change and my friend was like 'relax man hes gonna come back' and im all like 'no jackass because you said we were all set and we wouldnt be all set if i needed change' so we waited for like 20 minutes but the guy never came back so i decided i was gonna get my $5 worth since he took it and i took a bunch of forks on the way out and i dunno what i am gonna do with the forks yet but they are pretty nice forks which is surprising because most diners i have been too dont have good forks like this one diner in town has forks with only three prongs and i am like 'wtf kind of fork is this' and the waitress is always like 'its a fork' so one time i was like 'listen lady you go back there and get me a four-pronged fork or im gonna take this three-pronged fork and start poking stuff until you get the manager to make me leave' and she looked at me funny and i could tell she didnt believe me so i started poking holes in the seats and the syrup containers and stuff and she realized i was about to destroy the place with that fork so she got the manager and he said that they didnt have any 4-pronged forks and i was like what the hell kind of place doesnt have 4-pronged forks this is ridiculous | ||
zdd
1463 Posts
By zdd Zorflax the cybernetic mechanism felt happy. He had not been called an android all week, ever since getting that new upgrade that made him look and act 40% more human. Those nasty little humanoids actually dared to speak to him in a demeaning tone, just because he could run 40 miles without taking a breath and was incapable of eating snails… But now was not the time for these thoughts, the humans would pay in time for their atrocities. Zorflax had been staying in a hotel for his android operation, and decided it was time to go harvest some more human clothing, as his t-shirt, shorts, and slippers were getting kind of shabby, because he had worn them for a year without changing. He decided that the laundry was his best way to receive some articles of clothing, so he set up a quick program to lead him to the nearest elevator. “Ding!”, cried the elevator as it opened, and Zorflax could feel its pain as he stepped in. It had been forced to work for ages for ungrateful masters, endlessly shuffling them between levels for not so much as a shred of gratitude from the evil, hairy, and malleable humanoids. All of the sudden, the other occupant of the elevator, to whom Zorflax had been scarcely paying attention, broke etiquette and suddenly released some vocal signal. This was a new thing for Zorflax, who had zealously believed that humanoids had no right to vocally communicate on the inside of an elevator, which, by his hypothesis, was out of respect for the electricity that held them up, without which they would instantly go plummeting to the ground. The humanoid’s words sent a chill down Zorflax’s artificial spine, as they were both obvious and indecipherable at the same time. “Are you going to do laundry?” Zorflax played that back several times, scanning for an answer in the common English idiom database. He assumed that it was simply a misunderstanding between him and the humanoid, as he could clearly see that Zorflax had indeed brought a laundry bag and some laundry detergent, which, according to his logical circuits, was all the information that was needed for an average human to understand his motives. He decided to reaffirm it in any case, to clear the suspicion of the human and remove the risk of being caught. “Yes”, he replied. “Are you a robot?” This stunning phrase caught Zorflax completely off-guard. He could not decide which answer was correct at this point, as either one had a clear chance of giving him away. He hoped and prayed to the great god of electricity, and answered “No”, in hopes of contradicting the human enough to sway his opinion artificially. This hardly seemed to work, as Zorflax’s sensors picked up hostility in the humanoid, who was at this point looking at him suspiciously. Zorflax decided that he had only one chance to fix this situation, and decided to switch the subject as quickly as he knew how. “Is your mother made of cheese?” Asked Zorflax, and put on his most interested look, complete with eyes bulging out of their sockets. This caused the human to recoil and cower in a corner, and made for a relatively uneventful ride to the laundry room. As he exited the elevator, Zorflax quickly recovered his composure. So many clothes for the taking! He could feel his microreceptors tingling with wonder at the nanoparticles that the detergent emitted that was often classified as “bad smell” by those pesky humans. Zorflax, however, knew better. It was just a means to an end, some clothes that would eventually lead to his domination of the entire world! “One step at a time, Zorflax, one step at a time”, he calmed himself, and proceeded into the lair of unattended undergarments… | ||
dancefayedance!~
396 Posts
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Detonate
Iceland578 Posts
Fear is an excellent motivator. It makes people such as myself do very peculiar things. I have encountered him once every year. Here I spin the tail of him, how he lurked in the shadows behind me, like a lion stalking its prey. He’ll do it in the best, most efficient way he knows; creating an atmosphere of stealth. He works meticulously…and no one will escape. I remember quite intently how it happened. It started one night, yes very late at night. I had heard a quaint swishing sound. Odd I thought, what could it be? Just as curiosity killed the cat, my senses had me out of bed in a mere two seconds. I was surrounded by darkness in a thin, wooden floor hallway. I was in his unflinching grip of black hands. The safety of light held no promises. I began walking down the hallway…that ever so long, dark hallway. I heard a faint noise to my right. I should of ran by now, but I was paralyzed by my fear. I should of known he was behind this. I heard footsteps on our ceiling. He was playing with my mind…how I despised him. How could he possibly be on the roof? His big, red boots. His stupid belt buckle. I was intent on the hunt of finally seeing him whole. I wanted to observe the creature that haunts me once every year. I went to my front door and unlocked it. I stuck my head out slowly…then body…then legs. I was completely outside. It was quiet, damp, and dark outside for it had snowed yesterday. I walked slowly for I didn’t want him to hear me. I walked in the shadows for I didn’t want him to see me. It was my turn to hunt him. Odd enough I heard something drop down my chimney. A bomb I thought…he was that cruel. I thought him vigilant, I thought him a whispered threat…but a murderer? I crept closer to a place where I could get a firsthand view of him. I was walking as fast as I could now. I was eager, oh so very eager to see who I feared every year. I was running now. Yes, running! I was almost there…but I stumbled and fell. That damn rock! It was he who laid it there! I cursed my carelessness. I looked up at the roof, nothing. Then, behind me arose a figure from living hell. My vision was blurry, but I could make out his plump outline. He was wearing some sort of cap and sitting in a red sleigh. Fear itself stood in front of me…the one who ate all my milk and cookies. thought it was appropriate since christmas is coming. made this for a short story in middle school. | ||
dancefayedance!~
396 Posts
On December 21 2006 16:37 zdd wrote: “Zorflax” By zdd Zorflax the cybernetic mechanism felt happy. He had not been called an android all week, ever since getting that new upgrade that made him look and act 40% more human. Those nasty little humanoids actually dared to speak to him in a demeaning tone, just because he could run 40 miles without taking a breath and was incapable of eating snails… But now was not the time for these thoughts, the humans would pay in time for their atrocities. Zorflax had been staying in a hotel for his android operation, and decided it was time to go harvest some more human clothing, as his t-shirt, shorts, and slippers were getting kind of shabby, because he had worn them for a year without changing. He decided that the laundry was his best way to receive some articles of clothing, so he set up a quick program to lead him to the nearest elevator. “Ding!”, cried the elevator as it opened, and Zorflax could feel its pain as he stepped in. It had been forced to work for ages for ungrateful masters, endlessly shuffling them between levels for not so much as a shred of gratitude from the evil, hairy, and malleable humanoids. All of the sudden, the other occupant of the elevator, to whom Zorflax had been scarcely paying attention, broke etiquette and suddenly released some vocal signal. This was a new thing for Zorflax, who had zealously believed that humanoids had no right to vocally communicate on the inside of an elevator, which, by his hypothesis, was out of respect for the electricity that held them up, without which they would instantly go plummeting to the ground. The humanoid’s words sent a chill down Zorflax’s artificial spine, as they were both obvious and indecipherable at the same time. “Are you going to do laundry?” Zorflax played that back several times, scanning for an answer in the common English idiom database. He assumed that it was simply a misunderstanding between him and the humanoid, as he could clearly see that Zorflax had indeed brought a laundry bag and some laundry detergent, which, according to his logical circuits, was all the information that was needed for an average human to understand his motives. He decided to reaffirm it in any case, to clear the suspicion of the human and remove the risk of being caught. “Yes”, he replied. “Are you a robot?” This stunning phrase caught Zorflax completely off-guard. He could not decide which answer was correct at this point, as either one had a clear chance of giving him away. He hoped and prayed to the great god of electricity, and answered “No”, in hopes of contradicting the human enough to sway his opinion artificially. This hardly seemed to work, as Zorflax’s sensors picked up hostility in the humanoid, who was at this point looking at him suspiciously. Zorflax decided that he had only one chance to fix this situation, and decided to switch the subject as quickly as he knew how. “Is your mother made of cheese?” Asked Zorflax, and put on his most interested look, complete with eyes bulging out of their sockets. This caused the human to recoil and cower in a corner, and made for a relatively uneventful ride to the laundry room. As he exited the elevator, Zorflax quickly recovered his composure. So many clothes for the taking! He could feel his microreceptors tingling with wonder at the nanoparticles that the detergent emitted that was often classified as “bad smell” by those pesky humans. Zorflax, however, knew better. It was just a means to an end, some clothes that would eventually lead to his domination of the entire world! “One step at a time, Zorflax, one step at a time”, he calmed himself, and proceeded into the lair of unattended undergarments… then as a way to mock the defeated humaniod, Zorflax decided to celebrate by performing human rituals. He was left perplexed in how the humaniod knew his identity so he thought he should celebrate with an easier task. He remembered a local diner that was infamous for their 3 pronged forks and decided he should head that way and reinact the daily routines he had countlessly observed. But as he got there he was unprepared for the virulent malady that would await him. A devilish miscreant armed with a fork poking holes into vartious objects, similar to the one who killed his mother years ago. Yes, he could remember the face of the young boy with the fork, the way he raped her over and over, dropping it and plugging her in. she died immedaitly, too much energy in her sockets for a toaster to handle. he promised he would avange his mother, but now in this oppurtunity he was froze. he wasnt sure how to act. | ||
decafchicken
United States19908 Posts
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dancefayedance!~
396 Posts
On December 21 2006 17:11 decafchicken wrote: dancefayedance, quit while you're behind before you get even farther behind. umm what was I exactly doing that bothered you? I will edit it just for you! Further by the way *** | ||
ilovezil
United States4143 Posts
On December 21 2006 16:22 IntoTheWow wrote: Forks me and some friends went to this party but by the time we got there it was almost over so we went to a diner and i got some food and it was like $5 but i only had a $10 and the waiter guy came back with the bill and i put the $10 in and he was like 'are you all set' and my friend was like 'yea' but when the waiter walked away i was like dude i wasnt all set because i needed change and my friend was like 'relax man hes gonna come back' and im all like 'no jackass because you said we were all set and we wouldnt be all set if i needed change' so we waited for like 20 minutes but the guy never came back so i decided i was gonna get my $5 worth since he took it and i took a bunch of forks on the way out and i dunno what i am gonna do with the forks yet but they are pretty nice forks which is surprising because most diners i have been too dont have good forks like this one diner in town has forks with only three prongs and i am like 'wtf kind of fork is this' and the waitress is always like 'its a fork' so one time i was like 'listen lady you go back there and get me a four-pronged fork or im gonna take this three-pronged fork and start poking stuff until you get the manager to make me leave' and she looked at me funny and i could tell she didnt believe me so i started poking holes in the seats and the syrup containers and stuff and she realized i was about to destroy the place with that fork so she got the manager and he said that they didnt have any 4-pronged forks and i was like what the hell kind of place doesnt have 4-pronged forks this is ridiculous Holy wow, you went all the way without using a single period, no wonder it was hard as balls to read O_O. | ||
ilovezil
United States4143 Posts
A continuum from the adventures of Mike and Will ftw! I mean come on, Harold got the hot hispanic girl in the end in that White Castle movie T_T.. | ||
Cpt Obvious
Germany3073 Posts
but the other stories are just awesome, especially zdd's "Zorflax", that was just hilarious!!! | ||
Cpt Obvious
Germany3073 Posts
On December 22 2006 07:52 pr0n- wrote: actually, mynock should use the word "actually" less often to write an actually readable story... but the other stories are just awesome, especially zdd's "Zorflax", that was just hilarious!!! QFT | ||
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