For the past couple of months I wasn't happy. Not even a little bit. It was tough being around her, it was tough talking to her about anything so I finally ended it. Yea I was selfish and yea I was a dick and blind sided her with the news. Do I feel bad about that? Hell yea I do. and Hell yea I feel bad we didn't go all the way even though that's where I thought that's where we were headed a mere year and a half ago.
It was tough. Like I said the toughest thing I ever did in my life. I cried, she cried, I cried more, I even cried myself to sleep last night. But you know what? I woke up this morning feeling like a new man. I knew at that moment I had made the right choice and that I would be alright. My Co-workers being the badasses they are, saved me too. Made me not think about it, made me laugh, made me smile, made me realize the world wasn't over and I thank each and every one of them for that. And as sickening as it sounds, from Noon today to now there has been a big smile of happiness across my face that I have missed for a long time. I also felt the weight of all the expectations and all the sorrow lift off my shoulders.
I would also like to thank Sick Puppies, had it not been for their song "Maybe" I doubt I would have had the strength of will to do it. They made me realize what a fool I was, and what I was actually afraid. Myself and change.
Thank you TL for reading. I just had to get a little something off my chest.