• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EST 04:58
CET 10:58
KST 18:58
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
ByuL: The Forgotten Master of ZvT20Behind the Blue - Team Liquid History Book16Clem wins HomeStory Cup 289HomeStory Cup 28 - Info & Preview13Rongyi Cup S3 - Preview & Info8
Community News
Weekly Cups (Feb 9-15): herO doubles up2ACS replaced by "ASL Season Open" - Starts 21/0224LiuLi Cup: 2025 Grand Finals (Feb 10-16)46Weekly Cups (Feb 2-8): Classic, Solar, MaxPax win2Nexon's StarCraft game could be FPS, led by UMS maker16
StarCraft 2
General
Terran Scanner Sweep ByuL: The Forgotten Master of ZvT Nexon's StarCraft game could be FPS, led by UMS maker How do you think the 5.0.15 balance patch (Oct 2025) for StarCraft II has affected the game? Weekly Cups (Feb 9-15): herO doubles up
Tourneys
Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament PIG STY FESTIVAL 7.0! (19 Feb - 1 Mar) LiuLi Cup: 2025 Grand Finals (Feb 10-16) Master Swan Open (Global Bronze-Master 2) WardiTV Team League Season 10
Strategy
Custom Maps
Map Editor closed ? [A] Starcraft Sound Mod
External Content
Mutation # 513 Attrition Warfare The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 512 Overclocked Mutation # 511 Temple of Rebirth
Brood War
General
Gypsy to Korea TvZ is the most complete match up BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ Ladder maps - how we can make blizz update them? Brood War inspired Terran vs Zerg cinematic – feed
Tourneys
[Megathread] Daily Proleagues Escore Tournament StarCraft Season 1 Small VOD Thread 2.0 KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 1
Strategy
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Fighting Spirit mining rates Zealot bombing is no longer popular? Current Meta
Other Games
General Games
ZeroSpace Megathread Path of Exile Diablo 2 thread Nintendo Switch Thread Battle Aces/David Kim RTS Megathread
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Community Thread Mafia Game Mode Feedback/Ideas Vanilla Mini Mafia
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread Ask and answer stupid questions here! Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine European Politico-economics QA Mega-thread
Fan Clubs
The IdrA Fan Club The herO Fan Club!
Media & Entertainment
[Req][Books] Good Fantasy/SciFi books [Manga] One Piece Anime Discussion Thread
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread Formula 1 Discussion TL MMA Pick'em Pool 2013
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
Inside the Communication of …
TrAiDoS
My 2025 Magic: The Gathering…
DARKING
Life Update and thoughts.
FuDDx
How do archons sleep?
8882
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 1807 users

My Gamine

Blogs > ToKoreaWithLove
Post a Reply
ToKoreaWithLove
Profile Blog Joined September 2002
Norway10161 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-08-14 16:26:31
August 09 2008 00:24 GMT
#1
[image loading]

Picture by cine

My Marla. The mischivious women, girl and child. The stepdaughter of a suicided father, the dancer, alcoholic, drug user, smoker, philosopher. Marla drives drunk without a licence, takes whatever she can find, whichever boytoy is available or whatever life throws her way in the moment. We can solve the riddle of life in an instant only to lose it in the next. Marla is the perfect child of the modern age. A free soul, a strong exterior, a sad story, the ability to drink twice as fast as anyone. The inability to express love and the desire to do so coupled with the unforfilled need to be a child, a loved one, a unique person in a world where we are all born and live life as monkeys in a zoo, as monks in a monestary.

We are empty shells, forfilling our eartly duties to the society we have built, catering to our own needs to feel fullfilled. We chase money, happyness as Angelina and Brad teaches us, self-improvement to spend time with our kids. Kids who, like us, will grow up longing for Steve's apple-branded white toys, spend 15 years in school and 40 years working 9 to 5, live most of their life between 4 walls and searhing for the feeling of usefullness. Our happyness is created by paid robots whose own false joy is based on the sense of accomplishment a 6-digit salary and a red italian sportcar gives.

I could love Marla. In the Hollywood, walking hand-in-hand in high grass, kissing under the stars, sitting by the ocean kind of way. In the unfortunate ways of my sex, my eyes have since I was a child been groomed to accept one kind of beauty. I, in my semi-abstract awareness still find myself drawn to the californicated, fake kind of women with their perfect tans, teeth and boobs picked off a store shelf, personality traded for long lush hair, their ability to think long since removed by the clensing ever-destroying aftermath of white powder, green grass, pink pills, blue drinks, pointy needles. An accelerated life under the influence, expending the body twice as fast and leaving the soul stranded in the first slope.


* * *

I want to have a real conversation. No cell phones, music, tv, jokes, stimulants. I don't want to share the attention with anything, because I am selfish. The dying art of listening. The rudeness that we accept from every angle. It's normal. Your fucking cellphone has nothing to do in our time. Youtube should die along with somethingawfull, internet porn and cable tv. You never have as amazing a conversation as you do with a joint between your fingers. Give me your full attention and I will give the same. A lost art is just old and boring, however the ability to single-task is rapidly dwindling from our collective gene pool. We can't be bothered to remember even the names of the people we meet. We wake up naked next to people we never bothered to know. We need drugs to interact with our own species. It's 2008 and we are dying.

* * *

This is just a short sample from a project I'm working on. I'm looking for some feedback.

Thanks.

***
ModeratorFather of bunnies
ToKoreaWithLove
Profile Blog Joined September 2002
Norway10161 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-08-09 00:46:55
August 09 2008 00:45 GMT
#2
I'll specify a little. I'm looking for feedback on:

- Would you read more?
- Is it too much flower?
- Does it feel like something you've read before?

As it is now, I'm mixing things like these with a larger percentage of more direct writing and a real story.

Giving a rating is a good way to show what you think if you don't want to comment
ModeratorFather of bunnies
DoctorHelvetica
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States15034 Posts
August 09 2008 00:50 GMT
#3
Seems perhaps unrealistically angsty. Put contrasts of emotion. There needs to be happiness in the sadness, but the sadness has to win for it to be truly sad.
RIP Aaliyah
DamageControL
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States4222 Posts
August 09 2008 00:59 GMT
#4
On August 09 2008 09:45 ToKoreaWithLove wrote:
I'll specify a little. I'm looking for feedback on:

- Would you read more?
- Is it too much flower?
- Does it feel like something you've read before?

As it is now, I'm mixing things like these with a larger percentage of more direct writing and a real story.

Giving a rating is a good way to show what you think if you don't want to comment

Yeah it feels like a rant by a 50 year old, and you hear them all the time. I suppose I would read more to see if you are going somewhere
Liquid | SKT
L
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
Canada4732 Posts
August 09 2008 01:20 GMT
#5
- Would you read more?
Skipped to the end 2 lines in.

sry : (
The number you have dialed is out of porkchops.
GeneralStan
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
United States4789 Posts
August 09 2008 01:25 GMT
#6
I wouldn't read more. Its fairly shallow philosophizing and empty words about a woman we can't picture. You have some details about Marla, but in such broad terms that we don't get the feeling of the woman that you're trying to convey. Given that lack of connection, the language is too flowery, the emotions to grand, and somewhere along the lines I lose the impression that the narrator is a real person.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Shymon
Profile Blog Joined February 2005
United States620 Posts
August 09 2008 04:30 GMT
#7
On August 09 2008 09:45 ToKoreaWithLove wrote:
I'll specify a little. I'm looking for feedback on:

- Would you read more?
- Is it too much flower?
- Does it feel like something you've read before?

As it is now, I'm mixing things like these with a larger percentage of more direct writing and a real story.

Giving a rating is a good way to show what you think if you don't want to comment



alrighty first part, yes i would read more. You have a nice little existential naritive that has a nice flow to it. It's been done before alot, but it's done fairly well here.

too much flower? maybe, but that's a pure style call imho.

And i got to say oh hell yes does this sound like something i have read before. It sounds alot like the style of writing Chuck Palahniuk uses in Fight club. Add to that the fact that you use the same character name (Marla) as in the book, AND the picture at the top is a cover art for an album by the band that did the Movie version of Fight Club's Theme (placebo), AND you asked this question makes me think that Fight Club was at the least an inspiration for this piece yes?
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
PiG Sty Festival
09:00
Group A
Maru vs Bunny
Classic vs SHIN
PiGStarcraft683
IndyStarCraft 150
Rex85
TKL 85
IntoTheiNu 3
Liquipedia
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
PiGStarcraft683
NeuroSwarm 153
IndyStarCraft 150
ProTech117
TKL 85
Rex 85
StarCraft: Brood War
GuemChi 2368
Sea 1407
Hyuk 1118
Mini 263
Jaedong 232
Rush 175
Mong 135
EffOrt 124
ZerO 92
ggaemo 67
[ Show more ]
sSak 55
Hm[arnc] 48
ToSsGirL 36
Barracks 31
NotJumperer 30
Free 28
sorry 22
scan(afreeca) 21
JulyZerg 21
NaDa 18
Light 18
910 18
Bale 17
Yoon 17
BeSt 15
ZergMaN 14
Terrorterran 10
Sharp 8
Dota 2
XaKoH 597
canceldota45
League of Legends
JimRising 504
Counter-Strike
olofmeister1294
shoxiejesuss1165
Stewie2K1138
zeus723
m0e_tv513
allub214
edward53
kRYSTAL_46
Super Smash Bros
Mew2King112
Heroes of the Storm
Khaldor146
Other Games
Liquid`RaSZi809
ceh9557
Trikslyr31
ZerO(Twitch)13
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick605
StarCraft: Brood War
Kim Chul Min (afreeca) 56
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 13 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• StrangeGG 68
• LUISG 23
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
League of Legends
• Jankos1092
Upcoming Events
The PondCast
2m
KCM Race Survival
2m
WardiTV Winter Champion…
2h 2m
OSC
2h 2m
Replay Cast
14h 2m
PiG Sty Festival
23h 2m
Clem vs Percival
Zoun vs Solar
Escore
1d
Epic.LAN
1d 2h
Replay Cast
1d 14h
PiG Sty Festival
1d 23h
herO vs NightMare
Reynor vs Cure
[ Show More ]
CranKy Ducklings
2 days
Epic.LAN
2 days
Replay Cast
2 days
PiG Sty Festival
2 days
Serral vs YoungYakov
ByuN vs ShoWTimE
Sparkling Tuna Cup
3 days
Replay Cast
3 days
Replay Cast
3 days
Wardi Open
4 days
Monday Night Weeklies
4 days
Replay Cast
4 days
WardiTV Winter Champion…
5 days
WardiTV Winter Champion…
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2026-02-18
LiuLi Cup: 2025 Grand Finals
Underdog Cup #3

Ongoing

KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 1
WardiTV Winter 2026
PiG Sty Festival 7.0
Nations Cup 2026
PGL Cluj-Napoca 2026
IEM Kraków 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter Qual
eXTREMESLAND 2025
SL Budapest Major 2025

Upcoming

Escore Tournament S1: King of Kings
[S:21] ASL SEASON OPEN 1st Round
[S:21] ASL SEASON OPEN 1st Round Qualifier
Acropolis #4 - TS5
Jeongseon Sooper Cup
Spring Cup 2026: China & Korea Invitational
[S:21] ASL SEASON OPEN 2nd Round
HSC XXIX
uThermal 2v2 2026 Main Event
Bellum Gens Elite Stara Zagora 2026
RSL Revival: Season 4
BLAST Rivals Spring 2026
CCT Season 3 Global Finals
FISSURE Playground #3
IEM Rio 2026
PGL Bucharest 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 1
BLAST Open Spring 2026
ESL Pro League Season 23
ESL Pro League Season 23
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.