• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 05:43
CEST 11:43
KST 18:43
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
Team Liquid Map Contest #22: Results and Winners1Code S Season 2 (2026): RO4 and Finals Preview12TL.net Map Contest #22 - Voting & Ladder Map Selection6Code S Season 2 (2026) - RO8 Preview5[ASL21] Finals Preview: Two Legacies21
Community News
[BSL22] Non-Korean Championship from 13 to 28 June2Weekly Cups (May 25-31): Clem doubles, 2v2 circuit heads toward finale0StarCraft II 5.0.16 PTR Patch Notes may 26th151Weekly Cups (May 18-24): MaxPax wins doubles0Crank Gathers Season 4: BW vs SC2 Team League6
StarCraft 2
General
TL Poll: How do you feel about the 5.0.16 PTR balance changes? Team Liquid Map Contest #22: Results and Winners Oliveira Would Have Returned If EWC Continued TL.net Map Contest #22 - Voting & Ladder Map Selection Code S Season 2 (2026): RO4 and Finals Preview
Tourneys
Douyu Cup 2026 Maestros of The Game 2 announcement and schedule ! GSL Code S Season 2 (2026) Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament WardiTV Mondays
Strategy
[G] Having the right mentality to improve
Custom Maps
[D]RTS in all its shapes and glory <3
External Content
The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 529 Opportunities Unleashed Mutation # 528 Infection Detected Welcome to the External Content forum
Brood War
General
BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ BW fans in southern Sweden, look here! 25 Years Since Brood War Patch 1.08 BW General Discussion BW animated web series: seeking contributors
Tourneys
[BSL22] Grand Finals - Sunday 21:00 CEST [ASL21] Grand Finals [Megathread] Daily Proleagues Escore Tournament StarCraft Season 2
Strategy
Any training maps people recommend? Why doesn't anyone use restoration? Muta micro map competition [G] Hydra ZvZ: An Introduction
Other Games
General Games
Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread PC Games Sales Thread Nintendo Switch Thread ZeroSpace Megathread Summer Games Done Quick 2026!
Dota 2
Looking for a Dota Mentor Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
Vanilla Mini Mafia
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread Trading/Investing Thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine YouTube Thread
Fan Clubs
The herO Fan Club!
Media & Entertainment
[Req][Books] Good Fantasy/SciFi books [TV/BOOK] *SPOILERS* Game of Thrones Discussion Movie Discussion! [Manga] One Piece
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread McBoner: A hockey love story Formula 1 Discussion TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread Facing Challenges in Mobile App Development
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
An Exploration of th…
waywardstrategy
I'm an arrogant trash talke…
FlaShFTW
Gauntlet SC2: A Retrospectiv…
Ctone23
Esportsmanship: How to NOT B…
TrAiDoS
Why RTS gamers make better f…
gosubay
ASL S21 English Commentary…
namkraft
StarCraft improvement
iopq
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 7894 users

My Gamine

Blogs > ToKoreaWithLove
Post a Reply
ToKoreaWithLove
Profile Blog Joined September 2002
Norway10161 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-08-14 16:26:31
August 09 2008 00:24 GMT
#1
[image loading]

Picture by cine

My Marla. The mischivious women, girl and child. The stepdaughter of a suicided father, the dancer, alcoholic, drug user, smoker, philosopher. Marla drives drunk without a licence, takes whatever she can find, whichever boytoy is available or whatever life throws her way in the moment. We can solve the riddle of life in an instant only to lose it in the next. Marla is the perfect child of the modern age. A free soul, a strong exterior, a sad story, the ability to drink twice as fast as anyone. The inability to express love and the desire to do so coupled with the unforfilled need to be a child, a loved one, a unique person in a world where we are all born and live life as monkeys in a zoo, as monks in a monestary.

We are empty shells, forfilling our eartly duties to the society we have built, catering to our own needs to feel fullfilled. We chase money, happyness as Angelina and Brad teaches us, self-improvement to spend time with our kids. Kids who, like us, will grow up longing for Steve's apple-branded white toys, spend 15 years in school and 40 years working 9 to 5, live most of their life between 4 walls and searhing for the feeling of usefullness. Our happyness is created by paid robots whose own false joy is based on the sense of accomplishment a 6-digit salary and a red italian sportcar gives.

I could love Marla. In the Hollywood, walking hand-in-hand in high grass, kissing under the stars, sitting by the ocean kind of way. In the unfortunate ways of my sex, my eyes have since I was a child been groomed to accept one kind of beauty. I, in my semi-abstract awareness still find myself drawn to the californicated, fake kind of women with their perfect tans, teeth and boobs picked off a store shelf, personality traded for long lush hair, their ability to think long since removed by the clensing ever-destroying aftermath of white powder, green grass, pink pills, blue drinks, pointy needles. An accelerated life under the influence, expending the body twice as fast and leaving the soul stranded in the first slope.


* * *

I want to have a real conversation. No cell phones, music, tv, jokes, stimulants. I don't want to share the attention with anything, because I am selfish. The dying art of listening. The rudeness that we accept from every angle. It's normal. Your fucking cellphone has nothing to do in our time. Youtube should die along with somethingawfull, internet porn and cable tv. You never have as amazing a conversation as you do with a joint between your fingers. Give me your full attention and I will give the same. A lost art is just old and boring, however the ability to single-task is rapidly dwindling from our collective gene pool. We can't be bothered to remember even the names of the people we meet. We wake up naked next to people we never bothered to know. We need drugs to interact with our own species. It's 2008 and we are dying.

* * *

This is just a short sample from a project I'm working on. I'm looking for some feedback.

Thanks.

***
ModeratorFather of bunnies
ToKoreaWithLove
Profile Blog Joined September 2002
Norway10161 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-08-09 00:46:55
August 09 2008 00:45 GMT
#2
I'll specify a little. I'm looking for feedback on:

- Would you read more?
- Is it too much flower?
- Does it feel like something you've read before?

As it is now, I'm mixing things like these with a larger percentage of more direct writing and a real story.

Giving a rating is a good way to show what you think if you don't want to comment
ModeratorFather of bunnies
DoctorHelvetica
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States15034 Posts
August 09 2008 00:50 GMT
#3
Seems perhaps unrealistically angsty. Put contrasts of emotion. There needs to be happiness in the sadness, but the sadness has to win for it to be truly sad.
RIP Aaliyah
DamageControL
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States4222 Posts
August 09 2008 00:59 GMT
#4
On August 09 2008 09:45 ToKoreaWithLove wrote:
I'll specify a little. I'm looking for feedback on:

- Would you read more?
- Is it too much flower?
- Does it feel like something you've read before?

As it is now, I'm mixing things like these with a larger percentage of more direct writing and a real story.

Giving a rating is a good way to show what you think if you don't want to comment

Yeah it feels like a rant by a 50 year old, and you hear them all the time. I suppose I would read more to see if you are going somewhere
Liquid | SKT
L
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
Canada4732 Posts
August 09 2008 01:20 GMT
#5
- Would you read more?
Skipped to the end 2 lines in.

sry : (
The number you have dialed is out of porkchops.
GeneralStan
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
United States4789 Posts
August 09 2008 01:25 GMT
#6
I wouldn't read more. Its fairly shallow philosophizing and empty words about a woman we can't picture. You have some details about Marla, but in such broad terms that we don't get the feeling of the woman that you're trying to convey. Given that lack of connection, the language is too flowery, the emotions to grand, and somewhere along the lines I lose the impression that the narrator is a real person.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Shymon
Profile Blog Joined February 2005
United States620 Posts
August 09 2008 04:30 GMT
#7
On August 09 2008 09:45 ToKoreaWithLove wrote:
I'll specify a little. I'm looking for feedback on:

- Would you read more?
- Is it too much flower?
- Does it feel like something you've read before?

As it is now, I'm mixing things like these with a larger percentage of more direct writing and a real story.

Giving a rating is a good way to show what you think if you don't want to comment



alrighty first part, yes i would read more. You have a nice little existential naritive that has a nice flow to it. It's been done before alot, but it's done fairly well here.

too much flower? maybe, but that's a pure style call imho.

And i got to say oh hell yes does this sound like something i have read before. It sounds alot like the style of writing Chuck Palahniuk uses in Fight club. Add to that the fact that you use the same character name (Marla) as in the book, AND the picture at the top is a cover art for an album by the band that did the Movie version of Fight Club's Theme (placebo), AND you asked this question makes me think that Fight Club was at the least an inspiration for this piece yes?
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Next event in 18m
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft: Brood War
Sea 4300
Hyuk 1248
actioN 197
Sharp 163
Soma 114
Zeus 101
Dewaltoss 95
Pusan 90
Mind 66
ToSsGirL 59
[ Show more ]
Mong 41
Backho 38
scan(afreeca) 35
sSak 34
sorry 31
Free 25
Hm[arnc] 21
Sacsri 18
910 18
Rush 17
Noble 16
GoRush 16
ajuk12(nOOB) 15
Light 11
soO 9
Movie 6
Dota 2
XaKoH 459
League of Legends
JimRising 504
Counter-Strike
fl0m3798
olofmeister990
zeus342
Super Smash Bros
Mew2King96
Other Games
PiGStarcraft919
ceh9433
crisheroes187
SortOf33
Sick31
RuFF_SC229
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick636
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
[ Show 13 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• iopq 7
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
League of Legends
• Nemesis4276
• Stunt2496
Upcoming Events
The PondCast
18m
Maestros of the Game
5h 18m
Serral vs Rogue
herO vs SHIN
OSC
12h 48m
Replay Cast
14h 18m
OSC
1d 3h
Maestros of the Game
1d 4h
Replay Cast
1d 14h
CranKy Ducklings
2 days
uThermal 2v2 Circuit
2 days
BSL22 NKC (BSL vs China)
2 days
eOnzErG vs Mihu
Messiah vs XuanXuan
Jaystar vs TerrOr
Dewalt vs Bonyth
eOnzErG vs XuanXuan
Mihu vs TerrOr
Messiah vs Bonyth
[ Show More ]
Sparkling Tuna Cup
3 days
uThermal 2v2 Circuit
3 days
BSL22 NKC (BSL vs China)
3 days
Jaystar vs Dewalt
eOnzErG vs TerrOr
XuanXuan vs Bonyth
Mihu vs Dewalt
Messiah vs Jaystar
eOnzErG vs Bonyth
TerrOr vs Dewalt
OSC
3 days
Wardi Open
4 days
Replay Cast
5 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

BSL Season 22
2026 GSL S2
Heroes Pulsing #1

Ongoing

IPSL Spring 2026
KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 2
Acropolis #4
CSCL: Masked Kings S4
YSL S3
Acropolis #4 - GSB
SCTL 2026 Spring
WardiTV Spring 2026
Maestros of the Game 2
uThermal 2v2 2026 Main Event
Murky Cup 2026
Heroes Pulsing #2
IEM Cologne Major 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 2
CS Asia Championships 2026
Asian Champions League 2026
IEM Atlanta 2026
PGL Astana 2026
BLAST Rivals Spring 2026
IEM Rio 2026
PGL Bucharest 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 1
BLAST Open Spring 2026

Upcoming

BSL 22 Non-Korean Championship
CSLAN 4
Blizzard Classic Cup 2026
Kung Fu Cup 2026 Grand Finals
CranK Gathers Season 4: BW vs SC2 Team League
HSC XXIX
Douyu Cup 2026
Heroes Pulsing #3
Esports World Cup 2026
BLAST Bounty Summer 2026
BLAST Bounty Summer Qual
Stake Ranked Episode 3
XSE Pro League 2026
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.