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How I turned my back on the Computer World

Blogs > jameswatts
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jameswatts
Profile Blog Joined October 2012
South Africa127 Posts
Last Edited: 2021-07-04 11:20:35
July 03 2021 17:49 GMT
#1
How I turned my back on the world of Software, and the computer realm..

To any person or audience here present, interested or passing by.. do forgive the haste this message was delivered..

The 21st century
It was the year 2018, or a little more onwards..
I was, Unstimulated, as any regular entry-level man would be on this planet, seemingly desensitized, but quick to anger about subtle imperfections.

I was still in pursuit of my delusion, that being I would somehow short-cut my way into the Starcraft II industry, and gain a foot by trickery. Some method of my play would distinguish me, or I would solve the secret algorithm, as one does remember a favourable chess opening, or solution to the rubics cube.

Of course, who would ever know that those who wield the high rank of Starcraft credibility gathered such aura from the sea of dedication and intense focus??? Not me! I am above such drudgery, too clever and blessed to have such recourse!

There were, certain talents I was privy to, but never ever nurtured without some kind of inhuman synergy. By that I mean, perhaps chess only was ever welcome when there be a bottle of intoxication present.. or the guitar sounded better with Hobbit Pipe Weed present.

All these self-proclaimed accusations are all vague hints, but for the most part.. the computer and the thought of building something for my self, or a fellow audience.. I became resentful.

There was something inherently sickening about progress and innovation.

AND THEN.. I tried that hapless career, of ghost writing, where within the candidate must produce an article and sell it to some remote agency for a deplorable fee. IT was better than nothing..

One of my latter tasks, there being assigned the duty of writing about the internet of things.

And being linked to a handful of key YouTube videos..

And then, it happened, I encountered him, or someone.

It was just simply two portraits, and one there being the host of some show or some casual dialogue.
There was nothing inherently unsightly about this man, give or take he could've been older or younger. Perhaps younger, and much younger, and perhaps infinitely more successful.

He had a neat hairstyle, undistinguished in any hipster fashion. But far too neat, to appear undistinguished, than any man not born into a modern world, that hadn't access to doors, concrete walls, steel cutlery, air-conditioning and medical science.

Indeed, the hair was supreme and fittingly placed upon a pale, monotone expression, producing an unwavering voice, and steady fixed expressionless eyes, framed between a domineering plastic frame of spectacles. To call them spectacles would be non-sequitur and archaic, but nothing more than a pair of glasses enunciated in an American accent..
and an accent rich with intellectual sapience and supremacy..

His flesh, his profile was pale, naturally so with a hidden sanguine quality. And as he spoke, it didn't matter what he said, all what mattered is that the audience had no doubt in their minds that it was suitably relevant to the topic at hand, and served to nourish the listener, in a way that a palpable book could do so, or a bag of chips laced with salt and pleasing MSG.

Consumerism, optimised and regulated on a level that was impossible to taste or smell, but easy to feel and know, by degrees unknown to the Cave Man..

At this, I semi-died inside.. For it was not the immaculate pseudo-smoldering nature of the man, but rather how the average person, could not know what instincts brought him to this point. What survival instinct shaped and melded such a person naturally?
There was no instinct known to me, save for impatience, petulance, intemperance and laziness..

this amongst others, caused me to try renounce the software world..
believing it to be some dead-end of annihilation controlled and owned by a cruel brand of technocratic thugs..
Anything!! Anything than be at the mercy of this person who was clean, immaculate, and eerily desirable of this modern
cyborg-like man!!
-

In any case..
surely there were other key episodes that contributed to my slow withdrawal from the software world and realm of computers.

Another being, that YouTube usually wallops me in the face with an advert..
awful terrible adverts, with whispering sibilant voices breathing in a desire for a product or TV show, not even slightly close to anything I like.

The Present
Now, as I return to the console, and the interface, dusting off my resumè and hoping to find Development work.
I'm given a task, to traverse some Array Table in the .NET environment, via some API..

And, I don't know what I'm doing, don't know where to begin, and slightly despise what's happening..
Yet I'm not bored or restless.. and maybe I'm secretly glad to be back!

And, I'm hoping I can work through this Luddite Attitude!

To all the people here, I urge you guys, don't ever neglect a talent or let it gather dust.
Even if it was a simple thing, don't make the mistake of convincing your mind that what you can do, is something inherently toxic or venomous!
-

*
The essence of life flows within. The way is made clear when viewed from above
HornyHerring
Profile Joined March 2011
Papua New Guinea1059 Posts
July 06 2021 11:56 GMT
#2
Great post, very easy to read. I feel as if I'm more crystal meth than human.
oh, hai
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