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Cheese

Blogs > Ikirouta
Post a Reply
Ikirouta
Profile Blog Joined November 2017
Finland727 Posts
Last Edited: 2018-08-29 08:54:01
August 29 2018 07:51 GMT
#1
The queue stops, -now it is time to play
A PvZ on Roadkill? I guess this is today.
I can't pick my matchups, I guess it is okay
I have to endure this pain, I can't put it away
Forge at eleven supply, it is the way
Cannon on thirteen, that I cannot delay
My trusty probe scouts pool gas - oh yay
I have to be careful now, lings are on the way
I block with my probes, they shall be the lings pray
But now what? I cannot scout - I am at bay
I have to get a probe past, lead the lings astray
I tried to do that, - but there is no way
The lings have speed, - they just slay
Suddenly I see hydras, my tech that I have to delay
I add cannons, but its too late, I am in dismay
My probes are fighting hydras - a terrible affray
And my base becomes a zergs buffet

No worries, its just one game - we all lose to cheese
Losses happen to everyone, I must not be at unease
I queue again, the que pops - I am at displease
Another PvZ? Why do you do this to me? - Oh geez
This time the game is shorter, it passes by like a breeze
My opponent went for mass lings, through my wall they squeeze
I am really disappointed in myself, I'm such a sleaze
I feel sick inside, like I just drunk a bottle of antifreeze

Fast forward a bit, 11 PvZs in a row
I get cheesed by zergs, fun - wow
But I guess, It is what it is- you reap what you sow
Maybe this is punishment for cheesing in PvT, many moons ago
Yet I feel like this all shouldn't be happening, didn't Blizzard get the memo?
I just want to be able to racepick again, abandon this idiotic show
I don't want to play protoss versus zergs, I wish that I could veto
I'd just like to play Starcraft the same way I did, a long time ago



***
Pusan fan #1, bad sair/reaver enthuisiast. twitch.tv/ikirouta
RedW4rr10r
Profile Joined January 2010
Switzerland746 Posts
August 29 2018 08:27 GMT
#2
I was promised cheese but I get a poem? ... oh wait...
Rip & Tear until it is done!
ninazerg
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States7291 Posts
August 29 2018 09:09 GMT
#3
I think "I get cheesed by zergs, fun? No." would be a better fit.
"If two pregnant women get into a fist fight, it's like a mecha-battle between two unborn babies." - Fyodor Dostoevsky
Liquid`Drone
Profile Joined September 2002
Norway28683 Posts
Last Edited: 2018-08-30 11:58:33
August 30 2018 11:57 GMT
#4
gonna play some starcraft
queuing up for the ladder
my day is looking great
gonna make some jerk sadder

playing random is awesome
protoss jerks have no clue
where to place the first pylon
and what can they actually do?

if they build in their natural
they get fucked pvp
but one base strategies
get you killed in pvz

I spawn zerg on roadkill
gonna do the 12 hatch
he pyloned in main
already a mismatch

it's a reverse ramp doofus
you can't hold my cheese
ling allin with drone drill
1 gate corsair? bitch please

I'm crushing nerd dreams
making your mmr plummet
the nightmarish sound of your screams
waking you up, from it
Moderator
RedW4rr10r
Profile Joined January 2010
Switzerland746 Posts
August 30 2018 16:01 GMT
#5
On August 30 2018 20:57 Liquid`Drone wrote:
gonna play some starcraft
queuing up for the ladder
my day is looking great
gonna make some jerk sadder

playing random is awesome
protoss jerks have no clue
where to place the first pylon
and what can they actually do?

if they build in their natural
they get fucked pvp
but one base strategies
get you killed in pvz

I spawn zerg on roadkill
gonna do the 12 hatch
he pyloned in main
already a mismatch

it's a reverse ramp doofus
you can't hold my cheese
ling allin with drone drill
1 gate corsair? bitch please

I'm crushing nerd dreams
making your mmr plummet
the nightmarish sound of your screams
waking you up, from it

Seems like I know now who rOuta was facing on ladder xD
Rip & Tear until it is done!
Jealous
Profile Blog Joined December 2011
10175 Posts
August 31 2018 06:47 GMT
#6
PvZ is impossible but you're a bitch if you dodge it IMO. Bend over and take it from Zergs 200 MMR below you like a real man.

100% honest though, I had a tight game with some Zerg in my placement matches, came out on top after 30 minutes or so, felt damn good about myself. Then I saw that he had like 120 APM and an 8-9 1560 MMR record and I realized that it's business as usual, and I should just be thankful.
"The right to vote is only the oar of the slaveship, I wanna be free." -- бум бум сучка!
Cele
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Germany4016 Posts
August 31 2018 11:30 GMT
#7
On August 31 2018 15:47 Jealous wrote:
PvZ is impossible but you're a bitch if you dodge it IMO. Bend over and take it from Zergs 200 MMR below you like a real man.

100% honest though, I had a tight game with some Zerg in my placement matches, came out on top after 30 minutes or so, felt damn good about myself. Then I saw that he had like 120 APM and an 8-9 1560 MMR record and I realized that it's business as usual, and I should just be thankful.


Pvz is a bitch. My winrate against Red would be 75% if he played a decent race im sure!
Broodwar for life!
NoS-Craig
Profile Joined July 2011
Australia3119 Posts
September 02 2018 01:25 GMT
#8
I'm loving the poems guys. Fits perfectly with all the short ZvPs I have watched lately. Forge exp can be a scary thing to try and pull off.
Artosis loves Starcraft
JieXian
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
Malaysia4677 Posts
Last Edited: 2018-09-03 09:54:18
September 03 2018 09:52 GMT
#9

On August 29 2018 18:09 ninazerg wrote:
I think "I get cheesed by zergs, fun? No." would be a better fit.


I'd rather read the poem and bask in their suffering.
Please send me a PM of any song you like that I most probably never heard of! I am looking for people to chat about writing and producing music | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noD-bsOcxuU |
Psyonic_Reaver
Profile Blog Joined June 2007
United States4336 Posts
September 04 2018 04:55 GMT
#10
I too struggle with PvZ. Easily my weakest MU. I feel your pain fellow Protoss brother.
So wait? I'm bad? =(
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