• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EST 21:01
CET 03:01
KST 11:01
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
ByuL: The Forgotten Master of ZvT25Behind the Blue - Team Liquid History Book18Clem wins HomeStory Cup 289HomeStory Cup 28 - Info & Preview13Rongyi Cup S3 - Preview & Info8
Community News
Weekly Cups (Feb 9-15): herO doubles up2ACS replaced by "ASL Season Open" - Starts 21/0241LiuLi Cup: 2025 Grand Finals (Feb 10-16)46Weekly Cups (Feb 2-8): Classic, Solar, MaxPax win2Nexon's StarCraft game could be FPS, led by UMS maker16
StarCraft 2
General
How do you think the 5.0.15 balance patch (Oct 2025) for StarCraft II has affected the game? Behind the Blue - Team Liquid History Book ByuL: The Forgotten Master of ZvT Liquipedia WCS Portal Launched Kaelaris on the futue of SC2 and much more...
Tourneys
PIG STY FESTIVAL 7.0! (19 Feb - 1 Mar) Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament StarCraft Evolution League (SC Evo Biweekly) How do the "codes" work in GSL? LiuLi Cup: 2025 Grand Finals (Feb 10-16)
Strategy
Custom Maps
Map Editor closed ? [A] Starcraft Sound Mod
External Content
Mutation # 514 Ulnar New Year The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 513 Attrition Warfare Mutation # 512 Overclocked
Brood War
General
CasterMuse Youtube A cwal.gg Extension - Easily keep track of anyone A new season just kicks off Recent recommended BW games BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/
Tourneys
Escore Tournament StarCraft Season 1 [Megathread] Daily Proleagues [LIVE] [S:21] ASL Season Open Day 1 Small VOD Thread 2.0
Strategy
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Zealot bombing is no longer popular? Fighting Spirit mining rates Current Meta
Other Games
General Games
Beyond All Reason Nintendo Switch Thread Battle Aces/David Kim RTS Megathread New broswer game : STG-World Diablo 2 thread
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
Vanilla Mini Mafia Mafia Game Mode Feedback/Ideas TL Mafia Community Thread
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread Mexico's Drug War Canadian Politics Mega-thread Ask and answer stupid questions here!
Fan Clubs
The IdrA Fan Club The herO Fan Club!
Media & Entertainment
[Req][Books] Good Fantasy/SciFi books [Manga] One Piece Anime Discussion Thread
Sports
Formula 1 Discussion 2024 - 2026 Football Thread TL MMA Pick'em Pool 2013
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
ASL S21 English Commentary…
namkraft
Inside the Communication of …
TrAiDoS
My 2025 Magic: The Gathering…
DARKING
Life Update and thoughts.
FuDDx
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 2256 users

Come to terms with myself (Part I)

Blogs > Shana
Post a Reply
Shana
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Indonesia1814 Posts
Last Edited: 2017-02-21 10:31:12
February 21 2017 10:29 GMT
#1
Pardon my English because it's not even my second language. Fair warning: there will be a big part dedicated to religious issue in this blog. I hope I don't break any rules, but if I did then feel free to close this blog.

Hello my fellow TeamLiquid.net members. This is a blog that will tell my last 5-6 years of my life where I lost my faith, myself and today where I start to get things back on track. Or so I hope.

The reason I wrote this blog is because I need something to channel what's inside of me. I need a place where I can write things. I feel the need to share "this" whatever that is, and what's better than teamliquid? This place has been awesome to me, from when I found this site until today and I hope and believe, for may years to come.

Teamliquid.net has done so much for me, be it the community, the staff or the players. I still remember reading LR thread, watching VODs, countless instance where I can feel happy, connected and safe. A place I can truly said, I belong in here. Where I can enjoy things I like, reading things I interested.

Let's begin then, with simple introduction.

I come from a heavily religious family. My father is often seen as "the patriarch" of my big family, being the most successful where he support the finance of our big family Mosque in his hometown. Most people would call him personally with title Kyai (though he personally dislike it since he doesn't feel qualified to be called that).

There you have it. I'm from a heavily religious family, and many people must be already guess where is this going. But that is not to be.

You see, while heavily religious, my father is not what you call fundamentalist/conservative. He's no what people in my place called Liberal Islamist, he is more on the progressive side. How can that be? Education. Education really does wonder to people.

So no, I'm not abused, forced, or anything horrible. They use reasons. They educate me and my sisters and brother very good. Including religion. I can say religion is a big part of me, and the reason why things happened the way it was for these few years.

Let's get on with the story, shall we?

Back in 2009, my father was incarcerated for corruption and bribe. My father was a government officials in one of the biggest city in Indonesia. High enough to be involved in some pretty big project that can cost hundreds to billions of dollar.

I won't go into detail since I still have bad, weird paranoia about state-wide surveillance, but at least I know he is innocent of that matters.

It's not a big deal for me. at first. We (my family) all know in this country how fucked up government can be. It's only a matter of tiptoeing and avoidin other people's crosshair to survive. Alas, my father (by the standard of government workers) can be a real pain in the ass for those who wants to do things off the book, thus ends up taking the fall.

We were fine, thankfully my mum works so my family can survive. I'm fine since it's not happening in the the Capital of Indonesia (my family there), no one at school knows so I was spared the stigma. Except two of my friends.

They being a bro, they kept their mouth off and doesn't talk to anyone. They even consoled me not long after the news broke, and we got even tighter than ever.

Back then, we were playing DotA (WC3), and dare I say we were very good at it. We might not be the best team but we were playing against some of the best team back then. If only things didn't go wrong, I'm pretty sure at least one of my teammate will still play on highest level until today.

We were king of the worlds. We were young, we can do anything. Oh, how wonderful youth is. That time was really the best of my life for me.

Little did I know I would lost both of them (and everything) in over a year.

That was the start of my dark, long and stormy phase of life.

to be continued in part 2 soon™

edit: Welp, I hit post instead of review. Oh well, what's done is done.

*****
Believing in what lies ahead. | That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet.
ninazerg
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States7291 Posts
February 21 2017 15:27 GMT
#2
You come from a religious family, and play DotA, and...? What do you have to come to terms with? Are you a furry?

Sorry, you've piqued my curiosity.
"If two pregnant women get into a fist fight, it's like a mecha-battle between two unborn babies." - Fyodor Dostoevsky
Korakys
Profile Blog Joined November 2014
New Zealand272 Posts
February 22 2017 11:38 GMT
#3
On February 21 2017 19:29 Shana wrote:
Pardon my English because it's not even my second language.

To be fair though my understanding is that Bahasa is the easiest language in the world to learn.
Swing away sOs, swing away.
JimmyJRaynor
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada17267 Posts
February 23 2017 19:28 GMT
#4
the best part about this is ... its only part 1! there is more!
Ray Kassar To David Crane : "you're no more important to Atari than the factory workers assembling the cartridges"
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
OSC
00:00
OSC Elite Rising Star #17.5
CranKy Ducklings127
Liquipedia
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
PiGStarcraft361
RuFF_SC2 181
SteadfastSC 129
Nina 90
Nathanias 72
StarCraft: Brood War
GuemChi 2055
Artosis 796
NaDa 16
Dota 2
syndereN428
Counter-Strike
Fnx 2483
fl0m1900
taco 608
Super Smash Bros
hungrybox610
Other Games
summit1g13777
JimRising 547
C9.Mang0434
Maynarde127
Trikslyr81
ZombieGrub1
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick1145
Counter-Strike
PGL493
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 15 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• Hupsaiya 77
• Mapu1
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
Dota 2
• masondota21557
Other Games
• Scarra1584
• imaqtpie1137
Upcoming Events
WardiTV Winter Champion…
9h 59m
Replay Cast
1d 6h
WardiTV Winter Champion…
1d 9h
The PondCast
2 days
Replay Cast
2 days
Korean StarCraft League
4 days
CranKy Ducklings
4 days
SC Evo Complete
4 days
Replay Cast
4 days
Sparkling Tuna Cup
5 days
[ Show More ]
uThermal 2v2 Circuit
5 days
Replay Cast
6 days
Wardi Open
6 days
Replay Cast
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2026-02-22
LiuLi Cup: 2025 Grand Finals
Underdog Cup #3

Ongoing

KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 1
Acropolis #4 - TS5
Jeongseon Sooper Cup
Spring Cup 2026
WardiTV Winter 2026
PiG Sty Festival 7.0
Nations Cup 2026
PGL Cluj-Napoca 2026
IEM Kraków 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter Qual
eXTREMESLAND 2025
SL Budapest Major 2025

Upcoming

[S:21] ASL SEASON OPEN 2nd Round
[S:21] ASL SEASON OPEN 2nd Round Qualifier
Acropolis #4 - TS6
Acropolis #4
IPSL Spring 2026
HSC XXIX
uThermal 2v2 2026 Main Event
Bellum Gens Elite Stara Zagora 2026
RSL Revival: Season 4
PGL Astana 2026
BLAST Rivals Spring 2026
CCT Season 3 Global Finals
FISSURE Playground #3
IEM Rio 2026
PGL Bucharest 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 1
BLAST Open Spring 2026
ESL Pro League Season 23
ESL Pro League Season 23
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.