• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 19:24
CEST 01:24
KST 08:24
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
Serral wins Maestros of the Game 231ByuL, and the Limitations of Standard Play3Team Liquid Map Contest #22: Results and Winners7Code S Season 2 (2026): RO4 and Finals Preview12TL.net Map Contest #22 - Voting & Ladder Map Selection7
Community News
Weekly Cups (June 29-July 5): Solar Doubles0MC vs IdrA, Boxer vs Nal_rA to be Legacy Matches @ BlizzCon415.0.16 Hotfix (June 30) - Balance + Bug Fixes40Weekly Cups (June 22-28): Zergs thrive in new patch5[TLMC] Summer 2026 Ladder Map Rotation0
StarCraft 2
General
Serral wins Maestros of the Game 2 Is the larve respawn broken? 5.0.16 patch for SC2 goes live (8 worker start) 5.0.16 Hotfix (June 30) - Balance + Bug Fixes Weekly Cups (June 29-July 5): Solar Doubles
Tourneys
Crank Gathers Season 4: BW vs SC2 Team League GSL CK #5 Race War HomeStory Cup 29 RSL Revival: Season 6 - Qualifiers and Main Event Vespene Cup #1 — $300+ USD, July 10
Strategy
[G] Having the right mentality to improve
Custom Maps
New Map Maker - Looking for Advice - Love or Hate Work In Progress Melee Maps [D]RTS in all its shapes and glory <3
External Content
Mutation # 533 Die Together The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 532 Nuclear Family Mutation # 531 Experimental Artillery
Brood War
General
Snow On New ASL S22 Map, Zerg Nerf ASL 22 Proposed Map Pool BW General Discussion BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ Starcraft vs Retro Category on Twitch
Tourneys
IPSL Spring 2026 Top 4! CSLAN 4 is Coming! Escore Tournament StarCraft Season 2 The Casual Games of the Week Thread
Strategy
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Creating a full chart of Zerg builds Relatively freeroll strategies Why doesn't anyone use restoration?
Other Games
General Games
Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Dawn of War IV Nintendo Switch Thread Summer Games Done Quick 2026! ZeroSpace at Steam NextFest - Last free demo
Dota 2
Looking for a Dota Mentor Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug
TL Mafia
NeO.D_StephenKing vs This Guy From 1 Million Dance TL Mafia Community Thread TL Mafia Power Rank Vanilla Mini Mafia
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread UK Politics Mega-thread YouTube Thread Canadian Politics Mega-thread
Fan Clubs
The HerO Fan Club!
Media & Entertainment
Anime Discussion Thread Movie Discussion! Series you have seen recently... [Req][Books] Good Fantasy/SciFi books [TV/BOOK] *SPOILERS* Game of Thrones Discussion
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread McBoner: A hockey love story Tennis[sport] Formula 1 Discussion TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
FPS when play League Of Legend on laptop How to clean a TTe Thermaltake keyboard? Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
Major Shifts in the Gaming I…
TrAiDoS
An Exploration of th…
waywardstrategy
Gauntlet SC2: A Retrospectiv…
Ctone23
ramps on octagon
StaticNine
Funny Nicknames
LUCKY_NOOB
Evil Gacha Games and the…
ffswowsucks
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 5745 users

Come to terms with myself (Part I)

Blogs > Shana
Post a Reply
Shana
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Indonesia1814 Posts
Last Edited: 2017-02-21 10:31:12
February 21 2017 10:29 GMT
#1
Pardon my English because it's not even my second language. Fair warning: there will be a big part dedicated to religious issue in this blog. I hope I don't break any rules, but if I did then feel free to close this blog.

Hello my fellow TeamLiquid.net members. This is a blog that will tell my last 5-6 years of my life where I lost my faith, myself and today where I start to get things back on track. Or so I hope.

The reason I wrote this blog is because I need something to channel what's inside of me. I need a place where I can write things. I feel the need to share "this" whatever that is, and what's better than teamliquid? This place has been awesome to me, from when I found this site until today and I hope and believe, for may years to come.

Teamliquid.net has done so much for me, be it the community, the staff or the players. I still remember reading LR thread, watching VODs, countless instance where I can feel happy, connected and safe. A place I can truly said, I belong in here. Where I can enjoy things I like, reading things I interested.

Let's begin then, with simple introduction.

I come from a heavily religious family. My father is often seen as "the patriarch" of my big family, being the most successful where he support the finance of our big family Mosque in his hometown. Most people would call him personally with title Kyai (though he personally dislike it since he doesn't feel qualified to be called that).

There you have it. I'm from a heavily religious family, and many people must be already guess where is this going. But that is not to be.

You see, while heavily religious, my father is not what you call fundamentalist/conservative. He's no what people in my place called Liberal Islamist, he is more on the progressive side. How can that be? Education. Education really does wonder to people.

So no, I'm not abused, forced, or anything horrible. They use reasons. They educate me and my sisters and brother very good. Including religion. I can say religion is a big part of me, and the reason why things happened the way it was for these few years.

Let's get on with the story, shall we?

Back in 2009, my father was incarcerated for corruption and bribe. My father was a government officials in one of the biggest city in Indonesia. High enough to be involved in some pretty big project that can cost hundreds to billions of dollar.

I won't go into detail since I still have bad, weird paranoia about state-wide surveillance, but at least I know he is innocent of that matters.

It's not a big deal for me. at first. We (my family) all know in this country how fucked up government can be. It's only a matter of tiptoeing and avoidin other people's crosshair to survive. Alas, my father (by the standard of government workers) can be a real pain in the ass for those who wants to do things off the book, thus ends up taking the fall.

We were fine, thankfully my mum works so my family can survive. I'm fine since it's not happening in the the Capital of Indonesia (my family there), no one at school knows so I was spared the stigma. Except two of my friends.

They being a bro, they kept their mouth off and doesn't talk to anyone. They even consoled me not long after the news broke, and we got even tighter than ever.

Back then, we were playing DotA (WC3), and dare I say we were very good at it. We might not be the best team but we were playing against some of the best team back then. If only things didn't go wrong, I'm pretty sure at least one of my teammate will still play on highest level until today.

We were king of the worlds. We were young, we can do anything. Oh, how wonderful youth is. That time was really the best of my life for me.

Little did I know I would lost both of them (and everything) in over a year.

That was the start of my dark, long and stormy phase of life.

to be continued in part 2 soon™

edit: Welp, I hit post instead of review. Oh well, what's done is done.

*****
Believing in what lies ahead. | That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet.
ninazerg
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States7291 Posts
February 21 2017 15:27 GMT
#2
You come from a religious family, and play DotA, and...? What do you have to come to terms with? Are you a furry?

Sorry, you've piqued my curiosity.
"If two pregnant women get into a fist fight, it's like a mecha-battle between two unborn babies." - Fyodor Dostoevsky
Korakys
Profile Blog Joined November 2014
New Zealand272 Posts
February 22 2017 11:38 GMT
#3
On February 21 2017 19:29 Shana wrote:
Pardon my English because it's not even my second language.

To be fair though my understanding is that Bahasa is the easiest language in the world to learn.
Swing away sOs, swing away.
JimmyJRaynor
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada17682 Posts
February 23 2017 19:28 GMT
#4
the best part about this is ... its only part 1! there is more!
Ray Kassar To David Crane : "you're no more important to Atari than the factory workers assembling the cartridges"
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
OSC
17:00
Mid Season Playoffs
Krystianer vs IbaLIVE!
SteadfastSC230
Liquipedia
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
SteadfastSC 230
ViBE199
SpeCial 25
Temp0 11
StarCraft: Brood War
Rain 958
Artosis 331
910 53
Jaeyun 9
Dota 2
NeuroSwarm219
Counter-Strike
summit1g8321
minikerr6
Super Smash Bros
PPMD23
Other Games
Grubby2922
shahzam571
C9.Mang0290
Day[9].tv237
Mew2King71
Maynarde0
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick31826
BasetradeTV319
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
[ Show 14 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• HerbMon 3
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
Other Games
• imaqtpie900
• Shiphtur290
• Day9tv237
Upcoming Events
Replay Cast
36m
Replay Cast
10h 36m
CrankTV Team League
11h 36m
OSC
13h 36m
Big Brain Bouts
16h 36m
Replay Cast
1d
RSL Revival
1d 9h
Serral vs Bunny
ByuN vs GgMaChine
CranKy Ducklings
1d 10h
Afreeca Starleague
1d 10h
Snow vs Jaedong
YSC vs hero
RSL Revival
2 days
Solar vs Rogue
Maru vs NightMare
[ Show More ]
Sparkling Tuna Cup
2 days
GSL
3 days
Replay Cast
4 days
WardiTV Weekly
4 days
The PondCast
5 days
Replay Cast
6 days
CrankTV Team League
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

CSL Season 21: Qualifier 2
HSC XXIX
Eternal Conflict S2 E1

Ongoing

IPSL Spring 2026
Acropolis #4
YSL S3
CSL 2026 Summer (S21)
CranK Gathers Season 4: BW vs SC2 Team League
SCTL 2026 Spring
Heroes Pulsing #3
XSE Pro League 2026
IEM Cologne Major 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 2
CS Asia Championships 2026
Asian Champions League 2026
IEM Atlanta 2026
PGL Astana 2026
BLAST Rivals Spring 2026

Upcoming

Escore Tournament S3: W2
ASL Season 22: Wild Card Qualifier
CSLAN 4
Blizzard Classic Cup 2026
SC4ALL II: StarCraft II
Kung Fu Cup 2026 Grand Finals
RSL Revival: Season 6
Light Tournament 2026
Eternal Conflict S2 Finale
Eternal Conflict S2 E3
Eternal Conflict S2 E2
Logitech G Connect 2026
StarSeries Fall 2026
FISSURE Playground #5
BLAST Open Fall 2026
Esports World Cup 2026
BLAST Bounty Summer 2026
BLAST Bounty Summer Qual
Stake Ranked Episode 3
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.