• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EST 19:20
CET 01:20
KST 09:20
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
HomeStory Cup 28 - Info & Preview10Rongyi Cup S3 - Preview & Info3herO wins SC2 All-Star Invitational14SC2 All-Star Invitational: Tournament Preview5RSL Revival - 2025 Season Finals Preview8
Community News
Weekly Cups (Jan 19-25): Bunny, Trigger, MaxPax win3Weekly Cups (Jan 12-18): herO, MaxPax, Solar win0BSL Season 2025 - Full Overview and Conclusion8Weekly Cups (Jan 5-11): Clem wins big offline, Trigger upsets4$21,000 Rongyi Cup Season 3 announced (Jan 22-Feb 7)38
StarCraft 2
General
HomeStory Cup 28 - Info & Preview StarCraft 2 Not at the Esports World Cup 2026 Weekly Cups (Jan 19-25): Bunny, Trigger, MaxPax win Oliveira Would Have Returned If EWC Continued herO wins SC2 All-Star Invitational
Tourneys
HomeStory Cup 28 KSL Week 85 $21,000 Rongyi Cup Season 3 announced (Jan 22-Feb 7) OSC Season 13 World Championship $70 Prize Pool Ladder Legends Academy Weekly Open!
Strategy
Simple Questions Simple Answers
Custom Maps
[A] Starcraft Sound Mod
External Content
Mutation # 510 Safety Violation Mutation # 509 Doomsday Report Mutation # 508 Violent Night Mutation # 507 Well Trained
Brood War
General
Bleak Future After Failed ProGaming Career [ASL21] Potential Map Candidates BW General Discussion Potential ASL qualifier breakthroughs? BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/
Tourneys
[Megathread] Daily Proleagues Small VOD Thread 2.0 Azhi's Colosseum - Season 2 [BSL21] Non-Korean Championship - Starts Jan 10
Strategy
Zealot bombing is no longer popular? Simple Questions, Simple Answers Current Meta Soma's 9 hatch build from ASL Game 2
Other Games
General Games
Nintendo Switch Thread Battle Aces/David Kim RTS Megathread Path of Exile Mobile Legends: Bang Bang Beyond All Reason
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Hager werken embalming powder+27 81 711 1572
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
Mafia Game Mode Feedback/Ideas Vanilla Mini Mafia
Community
General
Canadian Politics Mega-thread US Politics Mega-thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread European Politico-economics QA Mega-thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine
Fan Clubs
The herO Fan Club! The IdrA Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
[Manga] One Piece Anime Discussion Thread
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
How Esports Advertising Shap…
TrAiDoS
My 2025 Magic: The Gathering…
DARKING
Life Update and thoughts.
FuDDx
How do archons sleep?
8882
James Bond movies ranking - pa…
Topin
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 1639 users

Come to terms with myself (Part I)

Blogs > Shana
Post a Reply
Shana
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Indonesia1814 Posts
Last Edited: 2017-02-21 10:31:12
February 21 2017 10:29 GMT
#1
Pardon my English because it's not even my second language. Fair warning: there will be a big part dedicated to religious issue in this blog. I hope I don't break any rules, but if I did then feel free to close this blog.

Hello my fellow TeamLiquid.net members. This is a blog that will tell my last 5-6 years of my life where I lost my faith, myself and today where I start to get things back on track. Or so I hope.

The reason I wrote this blog is because I need something to channel what's inside of me. I need a place where I can write things. I feel the need to share "this" whatever that is, and what's better than teamliquid? This place has been awesome to me, from when I found this site until today and I hope and believe, for may years to come.

Teamliquid.net has done so much for me, be it the community, the staff or the players. I still remember reading LR thread, watching VODs, countless instance where I can feel happy, connected and safe. A place I can truly said, I belong in here. Where I can enjoy things I like, reading things I interested.

Let's begin then, with simple introduction.

I come from a heavily religious family. My father is often seen as "the patriarch" of my big family, being the most successful where he support the finance of our big family Mosque in his hometown. Most people would call him personally with title Kyai (though he personally dislike it since he doesn't feel qualified to be called that).

There you have it. I'm from a heavily religious family, and many people must be already guess where is this going. But that is not to be.

You see, while heavily religious, my father is not what you call fundamentalist/conservative. He's no what people in my place called Liberal Islamist, he is more on the progressive side. How can that be? Education. Education really does wonder to people.

So no, I'm not abused, forced, or anything horrible. They use reasons. They educate me and my sisters and brother very good. Including religion. I can say religion is a big part of me, and the reason why things happened the way it was for these few years.

Let's get on with the story, shall we?

Back in 2009, my father was incarcerated for corruption and bribe. My father was a government officials in one of the biggest city in Indonesia. High enough to be involved in some pretty big project that can cost hundreds to billions of dollar.

I won't go into detail since I still have bad, weird paranoia about state-wide surveillance, but at least I know he is innocent of that matters.

It's not a big deal for me. at first. We (my family) all know in this country how fucked up government can be. It's only a matter of tiptoeing and avoidin other people's crosshair to survive. Alas, my father (by the standard of government workers) can be a real pain in the ass for those who wants to do things off the book, thus ends up taking the fall.

We were fine, thankfully my mum works so my family can survive. I'm fine since it's not happening in the the Capital of Indonesia (my family there), no one at school knows so I was spared the stigma. Except two of my friends.

They being a bro, they kept their mouth off and doesn't talk to anyone. They even consoled me not long after the news broke, and we got even tighter than ever.

Back then, we were playing DotA (WC3), and dare I say we were very good at it. We might not be the best team but we were playing against some of the best team back then. If only things didn't go wrong, I'm pretty sure at least one of my teammate will still play on highest level until today.

We were king of the worlds. We were young, we can do anything. Oh, how wonderful youth is. That time was really the best of my life for me.

Little did I know I would lost both of them (and everything) in over a year.

That was the start of my dark, long and stormy phase of life.

to be continued in part 2 soon™

edit: Welp, I hit post instead of review. Oh well, what's done is done.

*****
Believing in what lies ahead. | That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet.
ninazerg
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States7291 Posts
February 21 2017 15:27 GMT
#2
You come from a religious family, and play DotA, and...? What do you have to come to terms with? Are you a furry?

Sorry, you've piqued my curiosity.
"If two pregnant women get into a fist fight, it's like a mecha-battle between two unborn babies." - Fyodor Dostoevsky
Korakys
Profile Blog Joined November 2014
New Zealand272 Posts
February 22 2017 11:38 GMT
#3
On February 21 2017 19:29 Shana wrote:
Pardon my English because it's not even my second language.

To be fair though my understanding is that Bahasa is the easiest language in the world to learn.
Swing away sOs, swing away.
JimmyJRaynor
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada17238 Posts
February 23 2017 19:28 GMT
#4
the best part about this is ... its only part 1! there is more!
Ray Kassar To David Crane : "you're no more important to Atari than the factory workers assembling the cartridges"
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
The PiG Daily
21:40
Best Games of SC
Reynor vs Krystianer
herO vs Rogue
ByuN vs TriGGeR
Maru vs Solar
LiquipediaDiscussion
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
PiGStarcraft508
UpATreeSC 144
ProTech139
JuggernautJason100
StarCraft: Brood War
Shuttle 336
Dota 2
Pyrionflax195
capcasts94
League of Legends
C9.Mang0213
Counter-Strike
taco 377
Other Games
tarik_tv18074
gofns18040
FrodaN5617
summit1g5321
mouzStarbuck747
shahzam357
KnowMe246
ViBE76
Livibee51
Liquid`Ken3
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick760
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 18 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• RyuSc2 36
• davetesta13
• mYiSmile12
• Kozan
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• sooper7s
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Migwel
• IndyKCrew
StarCraft: Brood War
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
• BSLYoutube
Dota 2
• masondota21199
League of Legends
• Doublelift4988
Other Games
• imaqtpie1494
• WagamamaTV304
• Shiphtur186
Upcoming Events
Korean StarCraft League
2h 40m
HomeStory Cup
11h 40m
Replay Cast
23h 40m
HomeStory Cup
1d 12h
Replay Cast
1d 23h
Replay Cast
2 days
Wardi Open
3 days
WardiTV Invitational
4 days
The PondCast
5 days
WardiTV Invitational
5 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Escore Tournament S1: W6
OSC Championship Season 13
Underdog Cup #3

Ongoing

CSL 2025 WINTER (S19)
KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 1
Acropolis #4 - TS4
Rongyi Cup S3
HSC XXVIII
IEM Kraków 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter Qual
eXTREMESLAND 2025
SL Budapest Major 2025
ESL Impact League Season 8

Upcoming

Escore Tournament S1: W7
Escore Tournament S1: W8
Acropolis #4
IPSL Spring 2026
uThermal 2v2 2026 Main Event
Bellum Gens Elite Stara Zagora 2026
LiuLi Cup: 2025 Grand Finals
Nations Cup 2026
IEM Rio 2026
PGL Bucharest 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 1
BLAST Open Spring 2026
ESL Pro League Season 23
ESL Pro League Season 23
PGL Cluj-Napoca 2026
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.