• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 14:25
CEST 20:25
KST 03:25
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
[ASL22] Ro16 Preview: Holy Diver5[ASL22] Ro16 Preview: Rough Waters10[ASL22] Ro24 Preview: Siren's Call8[ASL22] Ro24 Preview: Summer's End9Serral wins HomeStory Cup 2915
Community News
Weekly Cups (Sep 7-12): SHIN, ByuN, MaxPax double down1StarCraft open world shooter announced at BlizzCon100Weekly Cups (Aug 30-Sep 7): herO thrives amid growing schism10Official StarCraft website teases new content ahead of BlizzCon?179Stellar Fest TWO the Moon (Dec 16-20)9
StarCraft 2
General
38 yo Retired SWE looking to save SC IP I have 0 hope Blizzard doing anything with SC IP SC4ALL II: StarCraft 2 Player Announcement 8/8 Balance hotfix patch 5.0.16b (July 16) The Death of Cheese: From a Professional Cheeser
Tourneys
2026 GSTL Announcement Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament RSL Revival: Season 6 - Qualifiers and Main Event RSL goes to London! 2026 Offline Finals Nov 21-22 SC2 AI Tournament 2026 Fall
Strategy
[H] ZvP Mid-Late Game: Stalkers Collossi HT
Custom Maps
Nexus Wars 2021 GUIDE [M] (2) Industrial Park
External Content
Mutation # 543 Enhanced Defenses The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 542 The Ascended Mutation # 541 Binary Choice
Brood War
General
BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ Bot on ladder an AI researcher's take on the ladder bot Working 1v1, 2v2, 3v3 Ladder BW General Discussion
Tourneys
[ASL22] Ro16 Group D [BSL23] SM: Ret vs TerrOr - bo7 - Sunday 9pm CEST [Megathread] Daily Proleagues [ASL22] Ro16 Group C
Strategy
Replay Review Process - What do you do? Simple Questions, Simple Answers Odyssey Mineral Stack Saturation Game Theory for Starcraft
Other Games
General Games
Nintendo Switch Thread Warcraft III: The Frozen Throne Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread EVE Corporation Diablo IV
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
[TL LoL EUW IHs] Teemo shall perish
Heroes of the Storm
Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Community Thread
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine Russo-Ukrainian War Thread Canadian Politics Mega-thread Post Your Watch!
Fan Clubs
MarineLorD Fan Club The Creator Fan Club The ShoWTimE Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
Movie Discussion! [Manga] One Piece Diablo Animated Series on Netflix
Sports
Football (Soccer) Thread TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023 MLB/Baseball 2023
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
Recent Gifted Posts
Blogs
Can Bots Beat Pros?? Starcr…
namkraft
[meme] I finally understa…
LUCKY_NOOB
Virtual Romance, Real-Life C…
TrAiDoS
Regacy Esports:Our Goa…
regacyesports
Dreaming of BW patches (mod…
c3rberUs
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 9628 users

Come to terms with myself (Part I)

Blogs > Shana
Post a Reply
Shana
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Indonesia1814 Posts
Last Edited: 2017-02-21 10:31:12
February 21 2017 10:29 GMT
#1
Pardon my English because it's not even my second language. Fair warning: there will be a big part dedicated to religious issue in this blog. I hope I don't break any rules, but if I did then feel free to close this blog.

Hello my fellow TeamLiquid.net members. This is a blog that will tell my last 5-6 years of my life where I lost my faith, myself and today where I start to get things back on track. Or so I hope.

The reason I wrote this blog is because I need something to channel what's inside of me. I need a place where I can write things. I feel the need to share "this" whatever that is, and what's better than teamliquid? This place has been awesome to me, from when I found this site until today and I hope and believe, for may years to come.

Teamliquid.net has done so much for me, be it the community, the staff or the players. I still remember reading LR thread, watching VODs, countless instance where I can feel happy, connected and safe. A place I can truly said, I belong in here. Where I can enjoy things I like, reading things I interested.

Let's begin then, with simple introduction.

I come from a heavily religious family. My father is often seen as "the patriarch" of my big family, being the most successful where he support the finance of our big family Mosque in his hometown. Most people would call him personally with title Kyai (though he personally dislike it since he doesn't feel qualified to be called that).

There you have it. I'm from a heavily religious family, and many people must be already guess where is this going. But that is not to be.

You see, while heavily religious, my father is not what you call fundamentalist/conservative. He's no what people in my place called Liberal Islamist, he is more on the progressive side. How can that be? Education. Education really does wonder to people.

So no, I'm not abused, forced, or anything horrible. They use reasons. They educate me and my sisters and brother very good. Including religion. I can say religion is a big part of me, and the reason why things happened the way it was for these few years.

Let's get on with the story, shall we?

Back in 2009, my father was incarcerated for corruption and bribe. My father was a government officials in one of the biggest city in Indonesia. High enough to be involved in some pretty big project that can cost hundreds to billions of dollar.

I won't go into detail since I still have bad, weird paranoia about state-wide surveillance, but at least I know he is innocent of that matters.

It's not a big deal for me. at first. We (my family) all know in this country how fucked up government can be. It's only a matter of tiptoeing and avoidin other people's crosshair to survive. Alas, my father (by the standard of government workers) can be a real pain in the ass for those who wants to do things off the book, thus ends up taking the fall.

We were fine, thankfully my mum works so my family can survive. I'm fine since it's not happening in the the Capital of Indonesia (my family there), no one at school knows so I was spared the stigma. Except two of my friends.

They being a bro, they kept their mouth off and doesn't talk to anyone. They even consoled me not long after the news broke, and we got even tighter than ever.

Back then, we were playing DotA (WC3), and dare I say we were very good at it. We might not be the best team but we were playing against some of the best team back then. If only things didn't go wrong, I'm pretty sure at least one of my teammate will still play on highest level until today.

We were king of the worlds. We were young, we can do anything. Oh, how wonderful youth is. That time was really the best of my life for me.

Little did I know I would lost both of them (and everything) in over a year.

That was the start of my dark, long and stormy phase of life.

to be continued in part 2 soon™

edit: Welp, I hit post instead of review. Oh well, what's done is done.

*****
Believing in what lies ahead. | That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet.
ninazerg
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States7291 Posts
February 21 2017 15:27 GMT
#2
You come from a religious family, and play DotA, and...? What do you have to come to terms with? Are you a furry?

Sorry, you've piqued my curiosity.
"If two pregnant women get into a fist fight, it's like a mecha-battle between two unborn babies." - Fyodor Dostoevsky
Korakys
Profile Blog Joined November 2014
New Zealand272 Posts
February 22 2017 11:38 GMT
#3
On February 21 2017 19:29 Shana wrote:
Pardon my English because it's not even my second language.

To be fair though my understanding is that Bahasa is the easiest language in the world to learn.
Swing away sOs, swing away.
JimmyJRaynor
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada17815 Posts
February 23 2017 19:28 GMT
#4
the best part about this is ... its only part 1! there is more!
Ray Kassar To David Crane : "you're no more important to Atari than the factory workers assembling the cartridges"
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
AI Arena Tournament
17:00
Swiss - Round 2
Laughngamez YouTube
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
JuggernautJason52
SpeCial 47
EnDerr 19
EmSc Tv 18
StarCraft: Brood War
Shuttle 726
Mini 604
Soma 390
Dewaltoss 106
Sea.KH 56
Terrorterran 31
910 29
Barracks 25
Trap 24
Sharp 22
[ Show more ]
HiyA 19
Free 6
Dota 2
monkeys_forever21
Counter-Strike
byalli1132
Heroes of the Storm
Liquid`Hasu381
Other Games
FrodaN3026
Grubby2285
fl0m769
Beastyqt666
B2W.Neo388
mouzStarbuck358
KnowMe242
Hui .192
ToD146
QueenE101
Mew2King77
Trikslyr50
IndyStarCraft 45
CosmosSc2 29
Organizations
Dota 2
PGL Dota 2 - Main Stream8375
Other Games
gamesdonequick1977
EGCTV956
StarCraft 2
WardiTV914
Other Games
BasetradeTV70
StarCraft 2
EmSc Tv 18
EmSc2Tv 18
[ Show 16 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• printf 41
• EnkiAlexander 39
• mYiSmile131
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Migwel
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
StarCraft: Brood War
• FirePhoenix4
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
• BSLYoutube
Dota 2
• C_a_k_e 2068
League of Legends
• Shiphtur231
Other Games
• imaqtpie799
• WagamamaTV252
Upcoming Events
Replay Cast
5h 35m
GSL
16h 35m
Shopify Rebellion Sundays
20h 35m
Spirit vs Mixu
BSL
1d
Ret vs TerrOr
Replay Cast
1d 5h
Afreeca Starleague
1d 15h
Shine vs Rush
WardiTV Weekly
1d 16h
Monday Night Weeklies
1d 21h
Sparkling Tuna Cup
2 days
Afreeca Starleague
2 days
Light vs EffOrt
[ Show More ]
PiGosaur Cup
3 days
Kung Fu Cup
3 days
The PondCast
4 days
Replay Cast
5 days
Korean StarCraft League
6 days
CranKy Ducklings
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2026-09-18
Blizzard Classic Cup 2026
Big Dog Cup 2026 Div 1

Ongoing

K-JUNGMAN
ASL Season 22
Super Anchor Qualifying S3
CSL 2026 AUTUMN (S22)
Acropolis #5
Acropolis #5 - GSA
Calamity Invitational
Logitech G Play Connect 2026
SL StarSeries Fall 2026
FISSURE Playground #3
BLAST Open Fall 2026
Esports World Cup 2026
BLAST Bounty Summer 2026
BLAST Bounty Summer Qual
Stake Ranked Episode 3
XSE Pro League 2026

Upcoming

Acropolis #5 - GSB
Acropolis #5 - GSC
SC4ALL II: Brood War
HSC XXX
Stellar Fest 2: Lunar Cup
SC4ALL II: StarCraft II
Kung Fu Cup 2026 Grand Finals
RSL Offline Finals
Copium Cup
PGL Major Singapore 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 6
BLAST Rivals Fall 2026
IEM Beijing 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 5
PGL Masters Bucharest 2026
1win Private Club #2
Thunderpick World Champ. '26
ESL Pro League Season 24
Stake Ranked Episode 4
1win Private Club #1
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.