EPTPress X I dunno. My one fascination and passion I could stick with for 12 years just died. It doesn't matter anymore. I became a coordinator of my University's SC2 team. It was my dream for 3 years of American high school to be in one of the teams for TESPA and CSL. It doesn't matter anymore. And I'm upset and crying because I am saying that Starcraft doesn't matter to me. Our team has the minimum number of people required to play in CSL but they all love the game. So I couldn't tell them 30 minutes ago when they were in Discord with me when my cousin texted me the news.
I'm 17 now. I turn 18 on February.
I started Starcraft when I was 5. I pissed my pants and I was on a mission trying to get my clothes to the laundry without getting caught by my dad. The big clock in the living room read around 1:20. Dad usually trys to sleep before 12 (since he went to work super early and returned super late) but that day he was up in the computer room. Ok, maybe he was looking at the graphy things (later I learn it was called 'stocks'). He got mad when I pissed my pants so I was kinda scared, but he was doing something different that day. I changed my clothes, tried to go to sleep, but my curiosity got the better of me. I walked to the study. He didn't get angry that I pissed my pants. Instead, he put me on his lap and showed me what he was doing. A purple burning building was floating away from (later described as) lings. Yep :D Dad lost against a Computer in a 1v1 lol. The memory is still etched so deep in my mind.
I wasn't really interested in getting better at the game back then. My mom had a strict 1 hour every sunday gaming policy, and I didn't know anything about how to play the game. Dad kinda left me to figure things out, other than how to use right click to move units. Usually, Maplestory and Crazy Arcade(ripoff of bomberman) were the games I played. But they grew old quickly, and I would ultimately return to Starcraft. I didn't even know english but hell, there was something about the SF themed bird's eyed view game that drew me to it. I was just happy hearing all the units speak, and when I started to learn english, I learned super quickly because I wanted to know what the marine was saying. I can speak perfect english now, with no accent, and starcraft was the beginning of everything.
I was in 2nd/3rd grade at 2007. My house didn't have the fancy TV with Ongamenet and MBC Game and stuff, so I would always watch at a friend's or grandma's house. Grandad died back in March 2nd. I didn't really see him much, maybe twice a year, so I don't think I cried a whole lot. I remember skipping school to go to grandma's. I watched Starcraft there with my cousins. They were a bit older then me, actually knew starcraft, and they made me bet on Protoss winning, while they all bet on the Zerg. Excellent odds. I won the bet, and I had to get on my knees for a hour for telling my cousins to pay up during the grieving period. Sorry mum.
I watched the DAUM 2007. First Starcraft series I actually saw knowing something. GGPlay vs Flash. GGPlay vs Iris. Insane. GGPlay is my Bnet tag right now. Forever my hero. You lead me to loving the leagues as well as the game. I was an underdog kid, so I would always cheer for eSTRO until 2010. Fairy tales never come true. in 2008, I also started one of the biggest Starcraft communities in Korea. I stuck with it trolling and memeing with the best of them. Maybe I can finally let my account rest in peace.
2010, I fell in love with 2 people of 2 different races. Stork and FanTaSy. I loved Stork's team, Samsung Khan, but FanTaSy was my main man. The GGPlay who played Terran. My mom had to physically drag me back from me hopping on a train to watch their finals. That was my first and final attempt to see my heroes, and I sorely regret it. 2011, FanTaSy took second place while I was hospitalized clowning around playing soccer, and I moved to America in 2012. The league months never coincided with the ones I visited Korea on. I was getting about 40% on Bnet Asia server at that point. I was learning build orders and meta games and stuff. So gosu amright?
2012 was the year they switched to SC2. So much drama, but I was an 8th grader, so I didn't really understand all the contract and stuff. I became a Brood War elitist, hating everything SC2, and it probably didn't help that SGall was constantly fighting with S2Gall over which game was better. BoxeR had made a big mistake trying to make a new team in SC2. The harsh words he had to hear from the players he wanted to help grow will never be forgotten. I still boycott all their streams and games.
Eventually I had to face the facts. Press X to pay respects to Brood War. I loved it, but official KeSPA leagues aren't really played on it anymore, HOTS is actually pretty fun, and even FanTaSy transitioned to it. I followed, and I began to enjoy SC2 as much, or even more than BW. But something was off. There was LoL, many of my Korean friends were BW elitists (who didn't even play 1v1 mind you!) who hadn't committed to learning SC2 if they bought a copy instead of trying to pirate it. I was sad, but I loved the scene. I loved the players.
I loved Samsung and FanTaSy. I asked FanTaSy to do weekend streams, please, because I had school on weekday nights in Korea. FanTaSy's moderator told him, and FanTaSy said 'sure, I'll try.' He had a weekend stream that week, which I couldn't watch because stuff. If I had known that was my last chance to watch his stream before he went to the military, I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Because that stream was for me- or I like to think it was.
FanTaSy was gone, Stork was a playing coach, maybe I should quit watching Starcraft. Maybe I should play league and overwatch with my friends. Stork beat Innovation, the past wouldn't stay put, and I still loved SC2. MVP had Gumiho, Samsung was still Samsung. I just remembered that Solar won Starleague. You do the team proud man.
Now, FanTaSy is gone, Samsung is gone, and Proleague is gone. There is nothing to transition in to. ASL is a joke, and without teams, I'm afraid GSL and SSL will also become one. I desperately want to stop playing this game, it only seems to pain me, but I just can't seem to let go of the game. I can't let go of my 12 years.
X.
