EPT
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I wonder if one day
All the cracks in the sidewalk
Can be something greater
Next to broken houses
Fitting broken people
The things I shouldn't say, I'm
Afraid they're spoken
And the staircase rails are rusty
And the paper doesn't feel the same
And the words in my ears
Never felt so empty
And there's warmth I know, it's
Lurking somewhere out here
But it doesn't fit right
Nothing ever fits right
The one thing I do want
The one thing I don't have
The one place I can sit
The one place I can't stand
And death seems so pretty, doesn't it?
As pretty as the winds blowing in from the outside
But when I choose to chase them
They lose all the glory
The Art of the Silent Diatribe
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I find my fingers fleeing listlessly into place
To play chords that don't exist
But each distinctly remembered;
You always played them
The blinking, stuttered streetlights
Like distanced friends who don't know what to say
The bone-chilling cold
Like close friends who know all the wrong things to do
I'm better off alone
Is something you say when there's nothing better to fill the air with
Loving yourself is difficult
Loving others is easy
And I seem to have forgotten
If the sun ever really rises
Or if all the colors
Are the work of a vivid imagination
A dozen days can fade without seeing a hint of change
I can paint the insides of my eyelids in a beautiful array
And still have your face memorized
In stolen words- the thievery of moments
Trembling lips, balled fists, teared eyes
I'll say thanks, but I won't believe it
It's here that I notice
I've never said anything at all
Riverside, Downtown
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City lights
Out in a blackened sky
Chilled night
Wondering why ask why
Sometimes
It simply seems so numb
No, I don't think
It's worth coming out from
The song's been sung, but the show's not stopped
The clock has rung, but I never slept
Tomorrow's a myth
It keeps moving, so I hope it doesn't exist
Mad at the past
For so perfectly aligning with the future
Mad at my hope
For still thinking that next time will be different
But I'd find all the answers
If I was drowning in the river
The blank sky's filled with stars
But none of them can speak to me
There's people at my side
But none of them ever speak to me
Words are so suffocating
Always better left unspoken
'Cause when the tears start
I don't think they ever stop
Snow
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Friendships are like falling snow
I pray for them to freeze the river
But the haunting waves won't leave
I'd trade anything; I'd give away it all
Just to make snow angels on the ice
One last time
Watching it fall from the cloudy, misty evening skies
It's beautiful, but beauty carries sadness
Because one day it'll be over
The snow will litter the ground and I won't watch it anymore
And then one day it'll all melt
Maybe this time I'll melt with it
I wish I could lie and protect this feeling
I wish I could lie here with you again
And just talk, because there's nothing better to do
All these wasted nights
All these moments of forsaken grace
I'd trade them all away
For another awkward second
But the snow's all melted at my feet
And I'll never see it the same again
Disconnection's Connection
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There's muddy thoughts I live in
That keep me hiding from blankets
Trying not to think
Feeling a little soulless
Every morning's a fresh start
And that's not really a good thing
'Cause every morning
Turns to regret by the evening
Feeling a little soulless
Lose a breath, maybe a second
Maybe an hour, as if I wouldn't care
I try to figure out what every sound is made from
I think about the fridge, I think about the front door
There's cracks in the ceiling, there's cracks on the sidewalk
Feeling a little solace
I think you're thinking too
Of Frost (And Maybe A Few Other Things Too)
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Frost left on ink
So delicately spilled
On a blank suicide note;
Not careless-
Just unwanting
Frost left on windows
Left open through the night;
Life tinges cold
Blankets and warmth
Just hides it
Frost left on breath
Shaky and stuttered
But not stopped
Everyone looks for a cause to die for
All I ever wanted was a reason to live for
I've Been What I've Wanted All Along
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The dark, wishful skies match the hair
The air's like a bloodied crown to an heir
Who died before he ever knew who his father was
Daydreaming I could rise like a phoenix from the dirt
The quest for perfection's a very personal dirk
The heartbeat's break comes with a realization;
Being perfect doesn't even matter
Killing time, with murderous breathes
Each one fades before the next
I want to see my name in lights
But I'd be happier for someone else
A moment of silence has come and passed
Now I wait for it to fade to black
Desperate for normality, but the fleeting feeling's special
Desperate for the lies to stop, but scared of what the truth will bring
Desperate for care, but anxious about the spotlight
Desperate for things to work, but knowing they never will
Which human domino will choose to fall next?
Connection's Discontent
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The empty streets birth empty serenity
A buzzing city sleeps, moving but distant
The chatterless nights give thoughts the chance to speak
They told me the rift would be beautiful
I can't believe it
The looming shadows fence, guarded preciously by moonlight
Like the darkness of death dancing within the confines of my head
Answering the 'how' is easy, but the 'why' is difficult
The why is what I live for
I keep having nightmares where yesterday wasn't a dream
I daydream of familiarity during the dreary grip of night
When the trance of brief daylight is eclipsed by the twilight
And the paintings in the sky are reminiscent of perfection
A shattered sun, rises from its crooked nest
Spills its vile light, like a cancer upon the streets
So I can sit here and watch the clouds, maybe you'll join me
It doesn't matter that the sun falls, mirroring tears staining cheeks
I've forgotten this is the part where I get better
Amongst memorized ceilings and repetitive dreams
Floorboard cracks and cracks in the cloudy sky
Blurred palms and unmistakable songs
The only riff that can be beautiful
I can't believe it
The Disappointment of Waking Up
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Under the auburn glow of nights so late they become mornings
Praying for giant waves, but too cowardly to drown in the sea
Wishing away friends that don't work, but thinking it could've been better
A silent, lonely, chilled, half-lit apocalypse
Thoughts fade into the falling snow- it's easy to get lost in the bliss
But it slips through my fingers whenever I try and hold on
Leaving me with truths I can't accept, and lies I should've accepted
Under the auburn glow of nights so late they become mournings
The slowest of cataclysms
A dozen friends, a dozen nights without hearing a word
Keep having things torn from me, at some point there's nothing left
I keep thinking good friends can be best friends
Life seems content with proving me wrong, time and time again
So I'm left with a lot of graves, and not a single flower to place
They all seem so eager to tell me how hard and bitter life is
Ignoring all my best pleas to just not think about it
I wish the snow could fall again
I wish I could have a friend who knew
I don't want answers
I just want you to be here.
Tomorrow's a myth, but I can't help but hope it exists
Yesterday's over, but that doesn't stop it from echoing in my thoughts
All the things I could've done, all the things I haven't done
All the places I haven't seen, all the goodbyes I haven't given, they're
Gone
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If this isn't so much your thing, something more lighthearted/jovial is coming soon(ish).
Music-related :p
Leave comments if you'd like. Don't be silly. Have a good one.
