Just really, fuck this shit.
I just feel like shit right now.
Yet again I feel like I have hit rock bottom.
There have been a lot of reasons for me to feel as fucking terrible as I do right now, but THIS right now seems like the thing that made the difference between dragging over the ocean's bottom and getting burried into the fucking ground 10 miles underneath the water's surface.
I fucking hate writting even dumb stupid SMS but I am typing this brainfart on my fucking phone because I am so fucking tilted.
To make a short story even shorter:
I am on a ski vacation with my mother and three other people I dont really care about. => being mostly bored out of my mind as long as I am not on the slope.
Then I meet this Canadian girl (in fucking Austria) and we seem to get along extremely well - you know the kind of person you can laugh about eachother's jokes that other people would just find plain dumb/infantile/tasteless (amongst others).
Now, I am not a fool. I did not expect to have met a soulmate here. Despite feeling like I was doing quite well with her, I did not expect to get laid. I know that she has a boyfriend. If she were to make a move, I considered going along, but there were no expectations.
Just yesterday, she went on telling me that she were not a slut.
But here comes the fucking kicker. The event that makes me wanna punch through a fucking wall and gouge my fucking eyes out:
Today we went out for a drink. She also brought two ski instructors with us - not the jacked athletic kind, but the fucking short stick figure kind. And the fucked up thing is, since we stay in hotels right next to eachother, I got to walk her drunk ass to her fucking doorstep together with her current boytoy. So I got escort this 21yo slut and her 16yo boytoy so they can get kinky while I reassess my fucked up life.