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Active: 1302 users

Invited to a party, what do I do?

Blogs > ahswtini
Post a Reply
1 2 3 Next All
ahswtini
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Northern Ireland22209 Posts
May 21 2014 13:45 GMT
#1
This has always bothered me. What do you do when you're invited to a party that you don't want to join, for whatever reason? Are you obliged to give them a reason, or do you just coldly click the 'Decline' button? I mean, it's possible that this is an exclusive invite and they're waiting on you. Or you were part of a mass invite that was sent out.

There are many reasons why I may not want to join the party. I may simply not want to play Dota at that time. This one's easy to deal with - I just alt tab out and pretend to be afk, helped by the game appending (Idle) onto my name. Other times I'm already in a party. Definitely don't feel bad turning down an invite in this case, but should I tell my inviter?

Sometimes I just want to farm items by watching prestigious tournaments such as the Macedonia Dota 2 Cup 4. Then I get assaulted by the eagle eyed inviters who fire one my way the moment I'm done spectating one game. I can't feign afk, because I want to watch the next game. And how do I explain to them that I'd rather watch dota than play it (and I'm a dirty hat hoarder)

So tl;dr: do you give a reason when you decline party invites?
>Game is hard.


PS. Please don't stop inviting me friends
"As I've said, balance isn't about strategies or counters, it's about probability and statistics." - paralleluniverse
Qbek
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
Poland12923 Posts
May 21 2014 13:49 GMT
#2
Well if you don't want people to stop inviting you it's important to give a response, at least occasionally. A simple "can't play atm" is the best way out of your spectator problem.
This space left intentionally dank /)3(\ http://i.imgur.com/RmeEUcF.png
Maand
Profile Joined April 2010
326 Posts
May 21 2014 14:11 GMT
#3
Just tell them the truth and let them deal with it (no pun intended). You don't have to protect other people from their feelings or reactions.
ReignSupreme.
Profile Blog Joined September 2012
Australia4123 Posts
May 21 2014 14:12 GMT
#4
Steam > View Friends List > (Set status to) Offline
if you're so uppity over party invites
ahswtini
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Northern Ireland22209 Posts
May 21 2014 14:16 GMT
#5
On May 21 2014 23:12 ReignSupreme. wrote:
Steam > View Friends List > (Set status to) Offline
if you're so uppity over party invites

I've tried this before but one friend of mine has gotten very good at finding me out. He won't reveal how though.
"As I've said, balance isn't about strategies or counters, it's about probability and statistics." - paralleluniverse
synapse
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
China13814 Posts
May 21 2014 14:29 GMT
#6
if you aren't gonna be playing dota, just say you cant play at the moment
if you are gonna be playing dota, just say you're already in a party OR you're trying to raise your solo mmr
:)
ahswtini
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Northern Ireland22209 Posts
May 21 2014 14:30 GMT
#7
So it's rude not to say anything?
"As I've said, balance isn't about strategies or counters, it's about probability and statistics." - paralleluniverse
Talin
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Montenegro10532 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-05-21 14:48:27
May 21 2014 14:47 GMT
#8
Depends on how "close" you are to the guy that's asking.

If you're just one of his many spam invites when they want to fill up a party, then it's okay to say nothing tbh.

PS. I can't be the only one that thought this was about being invited to an actual party until the second paragraph, right?
Hot_Bid
Profile Blog Joined October 2003
Braavos36389 Posts
May 21 2014 14:49 GMT
#9
just be honest

if i get invited to a party and i don't want to play i just say "sorry i don't want to play atm"

if you get invited to a party and i want to play with someone else you just say "sorry i promised someone else i'd play with them"

its really no hard feelings, if someone declines my party invite like that and i'm the one inviting, i don't feel offended. nobody is obligated always to play with you whenever you ask.
@Hot_Bid on Twitter - ESPORTS life since 2010 - http://i.imgur.com/U2psw.png
ReignSupreme.
Profile Blog Joined September 2012
Australia4123 Posts
May 21 2014 14:52 GMT
#10
On May 21 2014 23:16 ahswtini wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 21 2014 23:12 ReignSupreme. wrote:
Steam > View Friends List > (Set status to) Offline
if you're so uppity over party invites

I've tried this before but one friend of mine has gotten very good at finding me out. He won't reveal how though.


There used to be a way to find out if you already had Dota open and then selected the offline status, (compared to going offline then starting dota) but i think i remember reading about it being fixed.
ahswtini
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Northern Ireland22209 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-05-21 14:56:23
May 21 2014 14:54 GMT
#11
On May 21 2014 23:47 Talin wrote:
PS. I can't be the only one that thought this was about being invited to an actual party until the second paragraph, right?

I made the title as vague as I could

So a lot of people are telling me how I should respond, but I'm more interested in knowing I SHOULD respond. Like if people would consider it rude if they didn't get a reply. Sometimes I'm just too lazy to bring up the steam overlay or w/e
"As I've said, balance isn't about strategies or counters, it's about probability and statistics." - paralleluniverse
Hot_Bid
Profile Blog Joined October 2003
Braavos36389 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-05-21 14:55:48
May 21 2014 14:55 GMT
#12
On May 21 2014 23:16 ahswtini wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 21 2014 23:12 ReignSupreme. wrote:
Steam > View Friends List > (Set status to) Offline
if you're so uppity over party invites

I've tried this before but one friend of mine has gotten very good at finding me out. He won't reveal how though.

i really don't understand why "i do not want to play right now" or "playing with another party right now" are somehow not acceptable reasons

if someones offended by that then its really their problem, you don't need to do some weirdly deceptive online / offline status toggling or hiding
@Hot_Bid on Twitter - ESPORTS life since 2010 - http://i.imgur.com/U2psw.png
Verrou
Profile Joined July 2013
France193 Posts
May 21 2014 15:02 GMT
#13
Only respond if they're asking for reasons. And if they ask, just say you don't want/can't play for now. As Hot_Bid Says, it's their problem if they're offended, you don't have to accomodate them if you don't want to.
Black^ / n0tail / Misery / Lanm - Nyx/Windrunner/Slardar
ahswtini
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Northern Ireland22209 Posts
May 21 2014 15:04 GMT
#14
Nah there aren't problems with people getting offended. Was just wondering if it's seen as rude to just decline an invite without saying anything.
"As I've said, balance isn't about strategies or counters, it's about probability and statistics." - paralleluniverse
Mr. Black
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
United States470 Posts
May 21 2014 16:12 GMT
#15
I give the reason, usually.

There was one guy that used to invite me all the time and I just hit decline. I always assumed he was mass inviting, so I never responded. Also, he was always really negative in game, and I didn't want to play with him. Then one time he sent me this really angry message about how we used to be on a team together and he was unfriending me for being a dick. It made me feel a little bad, but, really I was relieved when he unfriended me. I should have just unfriended him a long time ago.
Make more anything.
DrPandaPhD
Profile Joined November 2011
5188 Posts
May 21 2014 16:27 GMT
#16
If you don't want to play just say that.

If you want to soloqueue and not in the mood to talk to anyone you just say "sry I am emo today, gonna soloq"

At least that's what I do. I play with pretty much all on my friendlist, I just am not in the mood to play with them all the time. Especially since most of them is somewhat low rated and what not so easier to get frustrated if you aren't in the mood to play with them. Rather just pass for the moment and not get angry at people I like. And then play with them when I am ready to lose ))
리노크 👑
Dattish
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Sweden6297 Posts
May 21 2014 16:41 GMT
#17
--- Nuked ---
dravernor
Profile Blog Joined May 2013
Netherlands6191 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-05-21 16:46:24
May 21 2014 16:44 GMT
#18
I pm everyone I want to invite to find out if they can play before I invite. And then as an afterthought I go onto irc and announce my intention to play and sudden assembly of dravharem and suddenly we can inhouse. Life is good.

Also I'm just kidding. I coldly decline without a reason and never get invited again. Also because no one wants to play with me anyway.
<3
ahswtini
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Northern Ireland22209 Posts
May 21 2014 16:55 GMT
#19
On May 22 2014 01:44 dravernor wrote:
I pm everyone I want to invite to find out if they can play before I invite. And then as an afterthought I go onto irc and announce my intention to play and sudden assembly of dravharem and suddenly we can inhouse. Life is good.

Also I'm just kidding. I coldly decline without a reason and never get invited again. Also because no one wants to play with me anyway.

That's because you just play co-op bots and are dc'd for half the game
"As I've said, balance isn't about strategies or counters, it's about probability and statistics." - paralleluniverse
Comeh
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States18919 Posts
May 21 2014 17:12 GMT
#20
The worst is when someone messages you if you want to play, but you never ever want to play with them ever again.

And then they try to become friends with you ask how you are doing how your day was where do you live whats your asl and you just dont respond so then they stop inivting you and then they are offline and you wonder if they are still alive and if your horrible meanness caused them to change their life or hurt themself or maybe they were relaly sick and just trying to make a last friend to guide them through their last days im sorry john i hope you are okay
ヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノDELETE ICEFROGヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(
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