EPTSo today, I told two (Bulgarian) friends of mine to get drunk together. Turns out that's not that much fun.... When you tell Bulgarians to go get a drink with you, you can be sure that you're going to be drinking till the early hours of the next day. When you tell them to go get drunk with you, things might get a little bit dicey...
Half an hour after he was here, he was opening his third beer while downing his first glass of vodka. As you can imagine, it did not take long before this friend of mine was wasted way beyond any reasonable human's preferences. My (Bulgarian) roommate joined in on the fun and despite drinking only half the amount what we were downing he was fairly wasted, too. Overall, it was a fun night. For the first time in my life in this apartment, there were two people pssing at the same time in the same toilet (yeah, I know this sounds gay, but drunk people do stupid stuff). It also marked the first time that I finally did piss out of the balcony despite thinking about doing such a stupidity ever since I've started living here.
Anyway, this "party" ended up with one person puking his guts out only 3 hours into, me not being able to focus onto my own reflection in the mirror and the last guy walking funnily, being noticed even by people drunk enough to be sturggling to even hold their stomach contains...
By the way, that friend of mine who got drunk out of his mind in a ridiculously fast timeframe is a PhD working in one of the top science facilities in Germany. On top of that he is the go-to-person for all professors there, since he is a farily knowledgable person in his field of study. If you were to meet him in a party environment for the first time and you were to know Bulgarian, you would be wondering how such a moron could survive on his own. At the same time, if you were to work with him, you would be in despair how you could ever possibly happen to compete with such a genious.
I guess, what I'm trying to say is that even if somebody seems to be the most idiotic redneck you could possibly imagine, looks might be deceiving. Always giving the benefit o the doubt to people who seem to have the weirdest quirks has enabled me to get to know some of the most of the most awesome people I could have ever hoped to know. At the same time, I learned that people whon seem overly nice and are universally liked can turn out to be the most back-stabbing fuckers you could possibly imagine..
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I still cannot forget her. I still cannot get over the fact that she was able to get into a new relationship only two (or maybe even less) months after we broke up. I was a fucking wreck at that point and even now my stomach turns upside down, whenever I think about her. She, on the other hand, was fine fucking some other dude and enter a "relationship" in that short timeframe...
"Fuck that shit!!!"
That's what I would love to feel.
But I fucking do not!
It's not like there is a lack of candidates. It's just that they make me sick when I look at them. FFS even when I watch porn I think about what those women are lacking in comparison to my ex...
I do not feel very well. As a matter of fact, I feel like a piece of shit. To numb that feeling I resort to things that make me feel unique (say better, or at least above average). I went parachuting which was a great experience. I'm socially active like never before in my life. I do dumb stuff like jumping on freight trains and pissing out of the balcony just to feel like I've done something. Nothing helps so far... It gets better by the day... But going from unable to eat and sleep to simply feeling like trash all the time is not much of an improvement...
I've always believed that everything happens for a reason: A rainy day today, will inevitably lead to a sunny future...
I still wait for the sun to rise over the horizon...
