Sup, my now 19 year old female colleague had her birthday a couple of days ago. Noone knew. Since I can't get Isaiah_Mustafa to tell her that she is awesome, a card will have to do.
That's what it should sound like. I want to tell her that she is cool, smart, funny and that I wish her all the best, but that she can be such an annoying BITCH it's not even funny. Seriously, sometimes I laugh at one of her stupid (yet funny) jokes and she ridicules me by making fun of my laughing or saying something like "that wasn't funny". WHICH I OBVIOUSLY KNOW, I just wanted to be nice. GOD DAMN
So, the text should include the following: - we (the "team") are sorry we forget her birthday - we wish her all the best - she is awesome
- she can be SUCH a pain in the ass - her confidence is not real, we know she is insecure (is that the right word? Oo)
The text should be epic. I appreciate any help. I can pay you a bit via paypal if you want, that's no problem. Some snippets I came up with
- the shame we feel for forgetting the most important day in your life will be something we have to live with for the rest of our lives. - the pain we feel that we didn't honor you the way god intended us to is keeps us awake at night - but this card is not about us, it's about you - we will love you, always
..
IF YOU WEREN'T SUCH A insert appropriate insult ALL THE TIME
Well there's these that are in the spirit of what you seek: http://theoatmeal.com/horrible3 "You are awesome but OMG YOU ARE SUCH AN ANNOYING BITCH SOMETIMES" is kind of a shitty birthday card.
She would probably prefer a poorly written personal card over something a stranger on the internet put together. And going by your original post, you've got things under control.
Telling her she's annoying, if there's anything more to it than a friendly jab, does not belong in a birthday card. It's her birthday, let it be about making her feel good, not about telling her she needs to stop being such a pain. It might need to be said, but save it for another context.
We forgot your b-day hun, we are so sorry to say your still amazingly fun a bit late, but happy b-day (P.s. stop making awful jokes you bitchho, yeah, that means you, bitchho)
EPT
