These new ketchup bottles by Heinz are total bullshit. Like what in the hell.
I'd like to think I'm pretty smart. But apparently I can't outsmart a fucking ketchup bottle. These things are goddamn fortresses. I've been trying for literally half an hour and I can't get any ketchup to come out. I've tried squeezing, I've tried twisting the top (pretty sure it's all one piece), I've tried sticking a pencil in the hole. Nothing.
At this point my dinner is cold. I'll eat this hamburger dry with no ketchup. But it's not about the ketchup anymore. It's me vs a bottle, and it's personal.
gg I lose to ketchup bottle
I've tried looking for some kind of Heinz customer support phone number to complain about this ketchup fortress, but I can't even find that.
I feel like the bottle is mocking me with its ridiculous "Guess What My Bottle Is Made Of?" slogan. Sure, I'll guess, the bottle is made of fucking adamantium?
Umm, somehow you must have got a defective bottle, because I've used those kinds of bottles plenty of times and never had a problem. I find it hard to believe it could really give someone so much trouble - just shake the ketchup to the bottom and squeeze.
Though I do have to say a customer service number for ketchup bottles made me chuckle.
OH MY GOD I DID IT. I played the music for a second, then I stood up and went and opened that motherfucking bottle. WHATTTTTTT.
Damn, I had thought of a really good analogy too. I was going to say it was no use, that the ketchup bottle had 50 lurkers sitting on top of a ramp with dark swarm and all I had was marines. But turns out I had some Science Vessels backing me up. :D
Wow now I feel like an idiot, I had even sent an email to Heinz bitching about their new fortress bottles.
Oh, I should probably fill you guys in, in case someone else has the same problem (everyone hates those edit: nvm fixed the problem posts!).
Turns out that it wasn't all one piece, I needed to first twist off the top and remove a seal. But god damn was that cap on tight, I swear it didn't budge at all. And I've seen bottles like it with no seal, just squeeze for ketchup.
On November 21 2012 12:06 Alzadar wrote: I feel like the bottle is mocking me with its ridiculous "Guess What My Bottle Is Made Of?" slogan. Sure, I'll guess, the bottle is made of fucking adamantium?
On November 21 2012 12:06 Alzadar wrote: I feel like the bottle is mocking me with its ridiculous "Guess What My Bottle Is Made Of?" slogan. Sure, I'll guess, the bottle is made of fucking adamantium?
do you play Dwarf Fortress?
also excellent blog
I tried it for a few weeks last winter, kind of lost interest / didn't play enough to know wtf I was doing. All my dwarves lived until the first migrants arrived but then shit kind of hit the man, there were lots of dead animals and stuff. Why do you ask?
On November 21 2012 12:58 heyoka wrote: They've had these bottles for like 10 years, you have never opened one? Have you never used ANY food product? They all have those seals.
Dude, I've used a ketchup bottle before. Normally I have no problem. THIS BOTTLE WAS DIFFERENT.
EPT
