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Everyone Has Butts

Blogs > EffervescentAureola
Post a Reply
EffervescentAureola
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States410 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-09-18 20:00:11
September 18 2012 18:48 GMT
#1
Upon years of introspection, soul-searching, and intellectual intoxication, I have reached the only possible conclusion:

Everyone has butts.

[image loading]
[image loading]


You see, the sole purpose of such an enlightening piece of knowledge is to illustrate the fact that no one is perfect, and everyone has issues. Sometimes, the issues are not apparent when viewed strictly from the outside, the shallow superficial exterior of a man.

[image loading]

The existential dilemma with analyzing oneself through the diluted lens of self-serving bias risks the danger of running along one of two extremes. The better known view is the concept of illusory superiority, which is rather self-explanatory because one person basically supposes he or she is fundamentally superior in one or several ways compared to persons inhabiting the surrounding environment of oneself.

[image loading]
[image loading]

The opposing extreme is one involving crippling insecurity and loss of self-esteem. Call this view, if you will, illusory inferiority. This flawed self conception is succintly illustrated in the following example:

[image loading]

Having obsessive thoughts about the aforementioned mode of reasoning can trigger a sense of learned helplessness, excessive and unnecessary anxiety, and suicidal feelings of worthlessness. Experiencing disabling thoughts of simply not being good enough repels people from you and exudes the overall impression that you disregard the value of your own life.

Situations in which this philosophy is exemplified include:

Girls wearing makeup and competing with other girls based on attractiveness
Guys comparing their muscles and their e-penises

[image loading]
So you think you're better than me?

Similar scenarios are often caused by the predisposition of humans to competition. However, all too tragically often, humans engage in a kind of pseudo-competition (that is, competing just for its own sake). This may be the case where a person competes with another solely for bragging rights and not any genuine feelings of satisfaction or contentment.

[image loading]
If you're winning everything, but still feeling empty inside, you're competing for the wrong reasons. The point is to get yourself ahead while maybe helping those who you believe to be conducive to your success, not putting others down.
A wise man once said, we stand and fall as one.

[image loading]

We empirically seek to rank people based on some objective criteria. And so we experience psychological fatigue from the effort of constantly trying to out-do one another. But does it serve a greater purpose?

Rather, why not develop ourselves to our fullest potentials by actively seeking mutual betterment? We should not fight but instead negotiate by taking the strongest and most valid points from each argument.

For example, these 2 people happen to be arguing, or competing:

[image loading]

The dialogue, please imagine, might go something like this:

Boy: I hate you!!!
Girl: No, I hate you more!!!

Cue wild and wacky make up sex


As you can see, the positives and benefits of negotiation far exceed the potential benefits of competition and additionally skillfully avoid any pitfalls.

In the end, we are all imperfect beings, even this seemingly perfect angel:



This is because, of course,

WE ALL HAS BUTTS

No one is perfect, we all have things about ourselves that upset us, that we wish we could change, that we have tried to change but have been unseccessful in doing so, whatever. We all wish we could be as hot or intelligent or rich or outgoing as some stranger we see walking down the street, so there's no point in trying to justify your feelings of envy or jealousy as something that is specific to yourself. No matter how confident one appears from the outside, you cannot simply suppose that they are just as confident on the inside. It's true you might never be the absolute undisputable best at anything, but that doesn't mean you should stop doing something you love doing.

[image loading]
[image loading]
The truth is, we all have a lot more in common than we believe. So why not embrace the commonalities instead of driving ourselves apart over relatively petty differences?

If you're feeling down about being not good enough or worthless, pathetic, and useless then you're going about it the wrong way.

While it's bad to feel too good, unreasonably good, about yourself,

[image loading]

...it's just as bad to feel too bad, unreasonably bad, about yourself,

[image loading]

...and because we all have butts, @#$% comes out of that butt, and we all must cleans ourselves at least semi-regularly to ensure that we don't get up to our necks deep in @#$%.

That being said, here's a picture that has nothing to do with anything

[image loading]

**
EffervescentAureola
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States410 Posts
September 18 2012 19:11 GMT
#2
Sometimes, you just have to administer the pain using your invisible stun ray gun.
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
September 18 2012 19:21 GMT
#3
You forgot the overquoted comic line "You know who cares less about your problems than you? Everybody!"
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
kafkaesque
Profile Blog Joined November 2011
Germany2006 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-09-18 19:34:45
September 18 2012 19:31 GMT
#4
What if I'm not actually mediocre and ugly
[Teenage guy that looks a little like Keanu Reaves]
but I suffer from illusory inferiority?

Nice concept, it's worth taking into consideration.

However, this doesn't help people like me who are fundamentally unhappy with themselves and the world, it's just more depressing that one is solitary surrounded by people who are fundamentally alike.
| (• ◡•)|╯ ╰(❍ᴥ❍ʋ)
GERMasta
Profile Joined October 2010
Germany212 Posts
September 18 2012 19:37 GMT
#5
Ok message, but delivery could use some work. Your writing style tends to lean towards the pretentious side in a few spots, mostly in the beginning.
Roe
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Canada6002 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-09-18 19:45:23
September 18 2012 19:44 GMT
#6
what's the whole "glassy eyed" thing about?
what do you mean by
intellectual intoxication
Archas
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States6531 Posts
September 18 2012 19:49 GMT
#7
I expected more butts, to be honest.
The room is ripe with the stench of bitches!
marttorn
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
Norway5211 Posts
September 18 2012 20:07 GMT
#8
I clicked on this blog expecting prose detailing the history of the human butt, and as such it is with a heart heavy with disappointment that this post was written.
memes are a dish best served dank
Jaaaaasper
Profile Blog Joined April 2012
United States10225 Posts
September 18 2012 20:56 GMT
#9
Misleading title, i expected butts, wish you had given a more accurate title.
Hey do you want to hear a joke? Chinese production value. | I thought he had a aegis- Ayesee | When did 7ing mad last have a good game, 2012?
solidbebe
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Netherlands4921 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-09-18 21:35:51
September 18 2012 21:35 GMT
#10
I was also disappointed by lack of butts
That's the 2nd time in a week I've seen someone sig a quote from this GD and I have never witnessed a sig quote happen in my TL history ever before. -Najda
EffervescentAureola
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States410 Posts
September 18 2012 21:40 GMT
#11
I don't understand why you guys are complaining.
You did get one (fat and hairy) butt
babylon
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
8765 Posts
September 18 2012 22:59 GMT
#12
The baby chicks are adorable.
EffervescentAureola
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States410 Posts
September 19 2012 02:06 GMT
#13
On September 19 2012 07:59 babylon wrote:
The baby chicks are adorable.


I don't know, I thought they looked quite ferocious and lethal and bloodthirsty.
EffervescentAureola
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States410 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-09-19 03:25:52
September 19 2012 03:21 GMT
#14
On September 19 2012 04:44 Roe wrote:
what's the whole "glassy eyed" thing about?
what do you mean by
Show nested quote +
intellectual intoxication


The whole point of that is sometimes we can over-think and over analyze certain things, but we never get any closer to finding the absolute truth or gleaning valuable wisdom than the first time we laid eyes upon it. There's something to be said of intuition and the subconscious thought processes and the neurons that are doing their job even when you think you have made a hasty or misinformed judgment. Your brain is using everything at its disposal to collect all the resources it can to make a decision for you in a split second. Sometimes you just can't beat that initial guesstimate.

Intellectual intoxication is just another way of saying that you're over-thinking something so much that you've become inebriated by all the distracting and potentially irrelevant information floating around you. You can't keep a straight head or you struggle to maintain a pure perspective because of all the extraneous information that blinds you and clouds your thought processes from clearly seeing the answer and effectively assessing the situation.
Aerisky
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
United States12129 Posts
September 19 2012 04:45 GMT
#15
DivinO would approve :D

But.... So. Many. Pictures. I expected a greater prose to picture ratio as well but...lol. I guess this is an interesting read =P
Jim while Johnny had had had had had had had; had had had had the better effect on the teacher.
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