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I don't usually respond to things like this, but:
The blog has a really inappropriate title. It should be something more along the lines of "I am pretty sure I screwed everyone over, and now (only after the possibility of coming in contact with them again) I am feeling bad about it."
Hopefully that stung a little bit and counts more or less as a response to your issues. What you're realizing here is that, even though your leaving was perhaps an unchangeable occurrence, there was a significant social responsibility on your end that you didn't meet that could have smoothed everyone's feelings - including your own.
Good luck with your test and everything else.
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On April 05 2012 10:29 Ipp wrote:
I never was in band, but in my opinion it is partly your instructors fault as well. If people are ever a single point of failure, that is a huge problem and should be dealt with because stuff like this happens; not to mention it can be very stressful. The problem isn't all on you, now if someone was interested in learning what you did and you refused to help them (before you left) -- that's a different story.
Dropping out is a major decision, you had to have had some sort of reason other than disliking teachers and people will probably understand especially your teacher. You obviously are very ashamed and when you apologize to your friends they will understand as I'm positive you can't do it with a straight face. Don't underestimate how much people will forgive you for; I've forgave and been forgiven for much worse.
Well I did get replaced, it wasn't as hard as I had thought it would be. I was just playing StarCraft with my friend the other day when he said: "Hey you know (instructor) put me on your part since you're gone." The main problem was that the instructor didn't know what happened, it was left to a few people who knew to tell him. It was more of an annoyance than an actual problem.
However, the band was pretty silly and really tends to over-exaggerate and hate everything, which was one of the reasons I quit as well. One of the main things they promoted was "A chain is only as strong as its weakest link." They stressed individual importance, and make big fusses about people only missing rehearsals "if you are in the hospital coughing up blood". They even made students who became crippled or injured come to marching band rehearsals, even just to sit and watch.
So that's why just based on past experience, they'd probably be very upset with me gone, even if it isn't too much of a hassle to replace me.
On April 05 2012 10:36 DefMatrixUltra wrote:
Hopefully that stung a little bit and counts more or less as a response to your issues. What you're realizing here is that, even though your leaving was perhaps an unchangeable occurrence, there was a significant social responsibility on your end that you didn't meet that could have smoothed everyone's feelings - including your own.
Yeah...I think that's the answer to the question on the first page, "What's the lesson here?"
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I don't understand why your so scared... and if you don't mind me asking; why do you care what these people your never going to see again think of you?
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Maybe scared wasn't the right word. Just a little nervous I guess.
I'm not exactly sure why I care so much. Although reading all of these posts is making me really not care.
It might be a little like getting on fights on the internet. You don't even know this person, and probably won't ever see them again, but you will spend hours on the computer arguing with someone who can't change your mind and won't change his mind.
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On April 05 2012 08:30 Hulavuta wrote:
These are my friends, people I care about, and I CARE what they say to me. For a person in their teens, what people think about you and say to yo is a big deal. In fact, plenty of teens kill themselves because of this.
What's that for a superflous comment?
Ofc this are your freinds. You are "afk" for weeks and have serious obligations but you dont call any of those "friends, you care about". And apparently none of your "friends" call you, to ask whats up. And you havent seen any of those "friends" for weeks..
This strange comment about suicide and this strange story just appear to me that your just a "person in their teens" trying to get some attention.
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See...I tried as hard as I could to make it seem like I was NOT doing that. I am not trying to get attention, in fact, considering how many people just shit all over me in their posts, I wish nobody would post in this thread.
I only posted the suicide thing as I was responding to the people who were saying that this shouldn't be an issue. I love (and by love, I mean it's retarded) how you stop the quote right before I say: "Now, I'm not saying I'm at the point where I'm going to kill myself. I am FAR from it. This really is not that big of a deal. Perhaps I exaggerated it. But it's not invalid as a problem like too many people are saying."
You say that it is superfluous. SO DID I.
I mention that I am FAR from suicide, that it's NOT a big deal, yet you have the fucking nerve to say that I am just trying to get some attention. I only posted that to say that having people hate you is not as silly of a problem as it seems, and for SOME people it does drive them to these extremes. Perhaps your culture is a bit different in Luxembourg (if you really are from there o_o) but here in America it happens quite a bit.
My only point was that if some people commit suicide over the same reason, is it really strange that I feel just a little bit bad over something similar?
AGAIN, and I don't know how much I can fucking emphasize this, but I NEVER SAID I WAS GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE OVER SOMETHING LIKE THIS. You just cut the quote and took it right out of context.
Did you even read the thread? I told you that my friends DID call me, it was ME that ignored them. And I would've kept ignoring them, but now I HAVE to face them. That was the whole fucking point. Please read before you start saying things...
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I think that if you're willing to walk out on them like that then it doesn't seem like they really are your friends. If you really care about what they think then you should man up and apologize or at least try and explain to them why you left. If you don't actually care about them then just go in and take your test and if anyone gives you shit just tell them to fuck off.
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No, it was just my fault. I was just being a bit selfish. I treated it as if it wasn't a big deal. If we talk, I'm definitely going to apologize.
However, I'm going to tell everyone else to fuck off :D
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EPT
