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Lessons of a Moralien
Please point out why I am almost right, and not why I am almost certainly wrong.
It was so odd. We were all trying to learn; to grow. Our instructor was not particularly gifted, (if I am to speak to the rough consensus on the subject) but her place was ahead of ours, and it affected my motivation none the less – I want to grow, and that means learning from every opportunity possible. On the subject of my motivation to grow, I could learn from a rock. I could learn from a doorknob.
Discourse would ensue, often involving argument, debate, laughter, frowns and headaches. Fairly often however my peers also exhibited a behaviour that I could not quite put my finger on. Our leader would write an equation on the board: something along the lines of “3+1+6-1=8”. My peers would all raise their hands with eagerness! “That’s wrong!” one would say. “It doesn’t equal 8!” came from another. I would also raise my hand, sometimes in hesitation because of my confusion and add to the ensemble: “Well, I’m pretty sure that’s the right answer, you just forgot to add the last -1”.
In my retrospect of the story, my friend pointed out that I was no different than my peers other than my use of tact. I had to explain my emphatic disagreement: while I recommend and employ tact in every encounter of one’s life, my friend is being witness to only the language used and not my perception and approach. It is not such that I am smart, perceiving another’s intelligence and knowing the answers they do not, but rather that I’m fairly stupid, and that mistakes noticed must be in fact just mistakes, reflecting not of faculty or relative intelligence.
My experiences have led me to believe the following: 1) Being almost right is distinctly more comfortable than being certainly wrong, and 2) allowing others that freedom is an appreciable quality that people like to surround themselves with.
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And that, sir, is the meaning of diplomacy. Allow others to perceive themselves in the way thy wish and do not challenge that view. They will like you because they you are conducive to the perception they have of themselves.
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I agree.
That's twice today I have been reminded not to be too quick when judging people.
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Damn man, that's a tough lesson to learn. Humans are generally geared towards aggression and competition. When most people see an opportunity to crush someone else, the first instinct is to go for it right away. If you're the first person to call out that the instructor is wrong, not only do you crush the instructor, you crush all of your peers by being right before they're right.
I'm still not sure if it's the right lesson to learn though. The most successful people are always those who are capable of being ruthless when necessary yet still capable of tact when it's appropriate.
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On December 09 2011 11:42 Newbistic wrote:
Damn man, that's a tough lesson to learn. Humans are generally geared towards aggression and competition. When most people see an opportunity to crush someone else, the first instinct is to go for it right away. If you're the first person to call out that the instructor is wrong, not only do you crush the instructor, you crush all of your peers by being right before they're right.
I'm still not sure if it's the right lesson to learn though. The most successful people are always those who are capable of being ruthless when necessary yet still capable of tact when it's appropriate.
As the world moves forward, the volume of opportunities to collaborate increases dramatically.
Collaboration always yields a greater result than the sum of individual parts.
The wisdom in helping others be right is that it begets positive collaboration.
I'm glad I live in the generation that I do. Where the dividends for collaborating are immediate enough that even the greedy can't help but want to participate.
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United States228 Posts
On December 09 2011 11:36 Imperium11 wrote:
And that, sir, is the meaning of diplomacy. Allow others to perceive themselves in the way thy wish and do not challenge that view. They will like you because they you are conducive to the perception they have of themselves.
isn't that why managers in organizations surround themselves with like-minded people? yes-men aren't necessarily a good thing, since they stunt creativity in a group setting 
edit:
Mora <3
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Hi Listal!
How are you? Long time no talk!
Isn't it weird how old we are? What does life look like for you these days? Or rather, since that's a rather long conversation: what's new and exciting in the month of this December?
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EPT
i am doing well, working too much! how are you?
