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Blogs > AcrossFiveJulys
Post a Reply
AcrossFiveJulys
Profile Blog Joined September 2005
United States3612 Posts
November 01 2011 05:48 GMT
#1
CONTENTS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. PLEASE READ.

I hope the egregious subject line and headline got your attention -- I'm sorry if it was a bit abrupt. What I'm about to tell you may not make sense now, but it will soon, so be patient.

I'm writing from the year 2853, in which we are the 1623th thread (trial) at human existence. In my time humanity will soon face trouble with a rival universe intelligence: they will possess and unleash a terrible weapon on the human race, the black swarm. Our section of the universe will be decimated by bacteria-like entities that are able to absorb any matter and use it to duplicate themselves (which will move through the universe as a constant chain reaction in all directions, until the fuel at the center is depleted). With 95% probability, this will happen within 90 years, and with 99% probability it will happen within three centuries (due to stochasticity of the universe).

Your thread, the 1624th thread, however, still has over 932 years (with 99% probability) until their impending doom. I am talking to you through information wave time travel; that is, we can send information back in time. (Yes, I know in your time you believe traveling back in time is impossible. Just a hint, we look at Einstein's science as you look at Plato's).

Throughout humanity's many threads, we have sent information back in time to the date in which our communication with the internet becomes possible. Depending on how the universe decides to evolve, you may find yourself in our position earlier or later. Soon you will receive vast amounts of information that will help your thread of humanity progress scientifically faster, which has been revised 1624 times in order to be learned as quickly as possible. With extremely high probability, with our help you will discover information wave time travel before the black swarm arrives, and with high probability you will discover it with more time to spare than us (perhaps 50 more years). This will give you more time to work on a way to defeat the black swarm (either by using it yourself in destroying its creators or inventing a defense).

My thread is not optimistic about our chances.

Good luck to you.

****
FinestHour
Profile Joined August 2010
United States18466 Posts
November 01 2011 05:56 GMT
#2
So what happens in 2012?
thug life.                                                       MVP/ex-
Mobius_1
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
United Kingdom2763 Posts
November 01 2011 06:02 GMT
#3
Sorry man, we TLers are too busy playing games, watching Koreans play games, and verbally fighting over games to save the world.

Try Reddit.

Starleague Forever. RIP KT Violet~
Tatari
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States1179 Posts
November 01 2011 06:08 GMT
#4
This reminds me of a flash game from a while back: http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/558562

:I
A fed jungler is no longer a jungler, but a terrorist.
impression
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
413 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-12-08 13:35:12
November 01 2011 06:09 GMT
#5
Man, your post said it was written on the 1st of November 2011. I don't believe you! TL never lies!
Also, I have made arrangements to join the swarm when it arrives, I look forward to becoming the next Overmind! Muahahahaha.
Ok, seriously now, back to work!
행운을 빌어요 재미
OmniEulogy
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Canada6600 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-11-01 06:16:43
November 01 2011 06:16 GMT
#6
slow down there titor.

+ Show Spoiler +
I actually really enjoy stuff like this lol
LiquidDota Staff
rotinegg
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States1719 Posts
November 01 2011 06:31 GMT
#7
...trunks?

+ Show Spoiler +
Translator
froGGifyre
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States213 Posts
November 01 2011 06:34 GMT
#8
Weird, haha
channel PanK since '00 twitter.com/froggifyre twitch.tv/froggifyre
Dodgin
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
Canada39254 Posts
November 01 2011 06:51 GMT
#9
On November 01 2011 15:31 rotinegg wrote:
...trunks?

+ Show Spoiler +
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrUvmlWg70M



That's exactly what I was thinking O.o
rUiNati0n
Profile Joined December 2010
United States1155 Posts
November 01 2011 08:50 GMT
#10
Am I the only one who kept thinking he meant forum threads? >_<
eating corn while thinking about eating more corn
endy
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Switzerland8970 Posts
November 01 2011 09:36 GMT
#11
I don't get all that bacteria stuff.

Please give me the chinese national lottery results for December 24th 2011, I wanna give my wife a nice Christmas present.
Maybe I can also save up some money to invest it in your cause.

Thanks in advance.
ॐ
ShoCkeyy
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
7815 Posts
November 01 2011 15:42 GMT
#12
Added the date to my calendar! Thanks for the heads up.
Life?
mucker
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
United States1120 Posts
November 01 2011 15:59 GMT
#13
I was wondering where you'd been
It's supposed to be automatic but actually you have to press this button.
Boonbag
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
France3318 Posts
November 01 2011 17:40 GMT
#14
why don't you trust the guy ? sounds legit
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