The situations are real. The decisions are ridiculous. The consequences could be deadly. You'll laugh. You'll cry. This is J-Dubbz. This is your life.
So there was Carol. Cute, adorable, nice Carol. She smiles and waves at you and shoves some fruit into the lounge fridge (now decorated with profane/sophomoric phrases). She turns to leave--but wait, it can't end like this! Not now! Please God, not another four hours stuck in a tiny, dark storage room with zero vajajay in sight!
",,,wait a second," you say hesitantly. She turns toward you with a weird glint in her eye, like she's seen this all before. Without thinking--running on pure animal sexual instinct--you break into a full sprint (in less than five feet, I might add, way to go! *high five*) and drop to your knees at Carol's feet. You thrust your arms into the air and with a feral roar scream, "LOVE ME!"
Unfortunately you completely forgot about the tiny paper cup of hot coffee in your hand; the scalding liquid jets out into Carol's face and she curls to the floor, clutching at her eyes, in so much sudden pain she can't even cry out.
You pause for just a second, horrified. Tentatively you poke the back of Carol's motionless head.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?"
"GOD DAMNIT. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE."
You leave the volunteer lounge and hurry back to your little dark corner, for the first time in days glad to be alone. You lost your coffee, and that upsets you. 1:00 PM can't come fast enough. You realize you have to volunteer later that night at the Jefferson Hotel....
Just as you start zoning out into sweet oblivion your boss strolls in, much older but oddly sensual. She looks cross, like she's about to ask you why one of her most valuable employees suddenly has half her face burned off.
What do you do?
"If I did something wrong, you could always spank me." (4)
"These toddler clothes just don't fit me. It's really frustrating." (2)
"Hey girl / how you doin / you are the one that I'm really pursuin'" (1)
"Screw this, I'm out of here." (0)
"Something the matter?" <-----Least fun option (0)
17 total votes
Your vote: What do you say to your boss?
(Vote): "Hey girl / how you doin / you are the one that I'm really pursuin'"
(Vote): "If I did something wrong, you could always spank me."
(Vote): "Screw this, I'm out of here."
(Vote): "Something the matter?" <-----Least fun option
(Vote): Say notthing. Go in for a kiss.
(Vote): "These toddler clothes just don't fit me. It's really frustrating."