EPTFor the past 2 weeks I have been really exhausted and fatigued. It got to the point where I could say that I could say that I have never felt this sick in my whole life before and is something I never want to have to go through again. When I woke up every morning to go to class it was literally painful at how tired I was. What caused this was not just one thing but a variety of things such as a lack of a break after taking summer classes, constant all nighters to cram, poor diet, lack of exercise, lots of time spent on the computer, constant shifts in sleep schedule, stress, started smoking again etc. Well, today and yesterday have been the two days for the past 2 weeks where I have been feeling better.
During these past 2 days I tried to live just thankful at just having energy and spent it differently than I would have if I never went through this ordeal. Like I really could not help but smile all day today. I realized up to now I have really taken my health for granted. The lifestyle I was leading was bound to one day make me just crash. I actually have an illness called ankylosing spondylitis and I have never really considered myself sick per say and kept living my life as if I was healthy and had nothing wrong with me. I always ignored the chronic back pain I had and skipped my medicine until this whole thing happened. Apparently I'm sick enough that when I went to get a medical checkup for the military I actually was deemed unfit to serve except for 1 month basic training (the same thing which happened for Nal_Ra). Even then it didn't really hit me that I was sick and needed to take care of my body.
Though I feel better right now I fear going to sleep and waking up feeling terrible again. This actually in someway does help me in that the past 2 days have been the most productive days in a while. Yesterday when I wanted to go back home after classes to sleep I decided to just first go to the library and finish my homework then go home. I decided this energy I had I would not take for granted anymore and when I have it I should do what I needed to do. I started reading the new health and fitness forum that I used to always lurk in before. I realized I always knew I needed to fix my health and read information on what I needed to do but I was so ingrained in my habits that I never really fixed it. Even now these habits are hard to break. I was browsing on tl earlier and noticed that it was past midnight and just decided to turn my laptop off and to sleep because if I let myself go I would just stay on till 5 am and just repeat this whole thing again.
I don't know how long this feeling will last but I decided to spend each day differently and hopefully start new habits so by the time it wears off I won't fall back into my old groove. There is more I want to share but for some other time. I realize I should get back to sleep. Thank you for reading.
Also realized I forgot to mention if it wasn't for the help of a few special individuals I would not have been able to go through this. Really couldn't have done it without you guys, George, Kev, 엄마 (my mom), Qway and Jinho.
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