Well, I have an idea: my friends are scattered around the planet, the girl I love is thousands of miles away from me, unemployed because I have no work experience (but I'm volunteering, so hopefully that'll change), my parents are insane, it's raining, 180 dollars blew out of my hands this morning into traffic...and whatever else I can think of while I write the rest of this.
Been having dark thoughts (the usual kind, along with running away to Mexico/Canada), but nothing too serious. I'm 19 years old and for as long as I can remember this depression bug has bit me off and on, but it's worse now than it ever was.
I find it hard to get out of bed in the morning (unless it's for classes, I like college ((no, really I do, not sarcasm)), and I eat maybe one meal a day because I just don't get hungry. If I had a job I liked (hello Theatre House Manager, call me back!) I'd jump out of bed, but I don't.
Most of all though I worry about being a dissapointment to my family. I grew up in a one parent household (and that one parent was off the rocker) but I did pretty well in school, avoided drugs/alcohol. I know they're proud of me, but still, I'd rather die than dissapoint.
That's always the way I've thought: be great or die. Perhaps I need to adjust my world view.
Anyway, try to cheer me up, or give me something I can relate to.