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Esports Monopoly

Blogs > SirJolt
Post a Reply
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4004 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-09 23:00:27
June 09 2011 22:44 GMT
#1
I understand that there’s been an awful lot of talk about the way that foreign players stack up against Korean professionals, and it’s hard to ignore the fact that Korea seems to have something of a monopoly on a very particular type of play.

With that in mind, I’ve been trying to consider ways in which western e-sports might engage with that idea of a “monopoly” on incredibly high-level play without necessarily engaging with the Korean pros in a way that could erode their reputation.

You’re going to have to be very careful with what I’m advising here, because it’s very much still in beta, but please take it into consideration when you’re playing next.

StarCraft Monopoly:

Each player has to establish a base on the board by grabbing as many maps of the same colour as possible and building them up so that other players can only escape them by paying a filthy tithe!

[image loading]

Click through to see the board in full size.


Players begin the game with 400 minerals, and are granted an additional eight every time they pass Go. All prices are in minerals. “Sneak a High Yield” squares give an instant 20 minerals. You may have noticed that the maths of this aren’t too similar to normal monopoly; this is because I am a callous and fickle man, and expect to improve the game by guessing at numbers. This is unlikely, and I apologise for it. While making this board I realised how much Jim Raynor looks like Sawyer from Lost.

If you land on a TramLiquid square, open this page and stare at it until your next turn.

Players who land on an All In space should draw a card from the stack of All In cards. You may add to this list yourself, but here are some provisional All In cards I’ve made up for the purpose of the game.

[image loading]

Click through to see the cards in full size.

Ideally, players should cut out the names of popular figures from the foreigner SC scene and tape them to poker chips to act as counters. Players must attempt to emulate the behaviour of their chosen player as well as possible.

Praise for SC2 Monopoly form the critics:

+ Show Spoiler +
Easily the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen. There aren’t even costs for most things, why would anyone do this to themselves.


The drinking game rules make even less sense than the normal ones. I had to drink antifreeze and went blind. I will never see the faces of my loving wife and child because of this game. I weep bitter, bitter tears every night as I curse the man who made it.


On June 10 2011 07:56 Zim23 wrote:
Can't believe you put Steppes as the most valuable property.


I’ll include the criticisms of anyone who provides documentary evidence that they’ve played the game (evidence that you have been blinded by drinking antifreeze will be accepted in the absence of video).


The Drinking Game:

If you’d really like to go all-out, play a hand of Trozz’ TeamLiquid Magic the Gathering for every turn you take. The rules of each game may cross one another, in which case ten minerals may be exchanged for one mana. Drink if you are confused by the ways in which rules can be crossed between the two games.

Other Metagame-Metagames:

StarCraft Clue(do) – Detective Overlord has been killed, and you must find the dastard responsible! Choose from such villainous cads as Scarlet Science Vessel, Magenta Marine and Violet Vulture!

Aha! I know, it was the Magenta Marine with the C14 Gauss Rifle on the shattered hulk of a dead planet once known as Aiur!


Fun for all the family! Guaranteed!*

Nydus Worms & Medivacs – Modelled on the popular children’s game Snakes and Ladders, players must navigate an increasingly treacherous board, avoiding the Nydus Worms and hoping to land on Medivacs in an effort to be first to reach the end! Who knows what bounty awaits them there?


*Not a guarantee

+ Show Spoiler +
This post infringes on a number of copyrights. Perhaps all of them. I am sorry.



****
Moderator@SirJolt
StarStruck
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
25339 Posts
June 09 2011 22:50 GMT
#2
I don't see Disneyland as a destination on there. o-O
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4004 Posts
June 09 2011 22:51 GMT
#3
I'm sorry starstruck; where we're going, there's no room for joy.
Moderator@SirJolt
searcher
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
277 Posts
June 09 2011 22:54 GMT
#4
Perhaps "Go To Exile" could be "Get Forcefielded" instead. But otherwise, great!
Zim23
Profile Joined August 2010
United States1681 Posts
June 09 2011 22:56 GMT
#5
That's pretty cool. Can't believe you put Steppes as the most valuable property though haha.
Do an arranged marriage if she's not completely minging, and don't worry about dancing, get a go-kart, cheers.
emperorchampion
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada9496 Posts
June 09 2011 23:05 GMT
#6
Hahahaha
TRUEESPORTS || your days as a respected member of team liquid are over
BroOd
Profile Blog Joined April 2003
Austin10831 Posts
June 09 2011 23:09 GMT
#7
On June 10 2011 07:44 SirJolt wrote:
This post infringes on a number of copyrights. Perhaps all of them. I am sorry.

Not least of which...
ModeratorSIRL and JLIG.
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4004 Posts
June 09 2011 23:13 GMT
#8
Oh Brood, from guardian to avenging angel in a heartbeat. I'm glad I included my disclaimer.
Moderator@SirJolt
iSTime
Profile Joined November 2006
1579 Posts
June 09 2011 23:18 GMT
#9
On June 10 2011 07:56 Zim23 wrote:
That's pretty cool. Can't believe you put Steppes as the most valuable property though haha.


Everyone knows the expensive properties are for donks, just like steppes.
www.infinityseven.net
MaestroSC
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States2073 Posts
June 09 2011 23:37 GMT
#10
lololol i feel like i just got trolled cause this is not what i expected to find at ALL lol. i came here to read a rant about SC2 tournaments being monopolized lolol... my bad
turdburgler
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
England6749 Posts
June 09 2011 23:47 GMT
#11
On June 10 2011 08:09 BroOd wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 10 2011 07:44 SirJolt wrote:
This post infringes on a number of copyrights. Perhaps all of them. I am sorry.

Not least of which...


cant believe you didnt also link the the tramliquid blog!
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4004 Posts
June 09 2011 23:55 GMT
#12
Emmm, I wrote the TramLiquid blog man...
Moderator@SirJolt
turdburgler
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
England6749 Posts
June 10 2011 00:03 GMT
#13
On June 10 2011 08:55 SirJolt wrote:
Emmm, I wrote the TramLiquid blog man...



SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4004 Posts
June 10 2011 00:10 GMT
#14
My... my turds.

Ther-there's something wrong with them.

Burgled
Moderator@SirJolt
BroOd
Profile Blog Joined April 2003
Austin10831 Posts
June 10 2011 00:17 GMT
#15
On June 10 2011 08:13 SirJolt wrote:
Oh Brood, from guardian to avenging angel in a heartbeat. I'm glad I included my disclaimer.

Have to maintain the delicate balance.
ModeratorSIRL and JLIG.
turdburgler
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
England6749 Posts
June 10 2011 00:23 GMT
#16
On June 10 2011 09:10 SirJolt wrote:
My... my turds.

Ther-there's something wrong with them.

Burgled


what can i say


shit just got real
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