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CSheep is Dead

Blogs > Roffles
Post a Reply
1 2 Next All
Roffles *
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
Pitcairn19291 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-07-08 02:41:45
July 08 2010 02:21 GMT
#1
Bad Fanfiction: Volume 2 TL Edition

Disclaimer: Carnivorous Sheep isn't really dead. Lambs also don't exist in my universe.

Cockadoodledoo! Cockadoodledoo!

As the sun began to rise from the east, 18 year old George arose from his slumber by the calls of his roosters. Wearily, he dragged himself out of bed for what seemed to be just another day on the farm.

After having a whole hearty for himself, George set out to the barn to feed his animals. It just wouldn't be fair if he had a great meal himself, but left the animals to starve. George made his rounds through all the animal stalls, from the cows to the chickens to the pigs. After making his way through the entire farm, he finally came to his favorite animal.

In the green pastures of his farm, there lived a sheep. He was a cute little sheep, extra furry too. But this was no ordinary sheep. This sheep ate everything. Anything George fed him, this little sheep would devour with glee, even meat. This was a true carnivorous sheep.

A few months ago, George was out roaming the woods near his farm when he encountered a poor little sheep stranded in the middle of the woods. From the edge of the woods, George could hear the feint cries of the poor little sheep, which seemed to have been abandoned by his mother. A kind hearted fellow, George went into the woods and rescued the infant sheep. After taking a quick look, George found nothing wrong with the little one, and had no clue why his mother would ever abandon him. However, it would only take George a couple days to realize why.

Just a few days after George nursed the little sheep back to full health, the little one began to munch on everything inside. From the furniture to George's food, the sheep ate everything. After a couple of days, George decided that he could no longer afford to have the sheep live with him in the house, and instead let the sheep roam the pastures on the farm.

George would eventually become quite attached to the little sheep. As it grew bigger, it developed quite the voracious appetite. Best of all though was that George didn't have to feed him, for the sheep was quite a skilled hunter. Whenever it was hungry, the sheep would head out into the woods and hunt down whatever he desired.

As George approached the sheep today, he found the furry little one still slumbering. Since today was one of his few off days, he wanted to take the little one on a hunting trip into the woods later on during the day. But since he was still sleeping, George decided to let him sleep and left for his house.

Moments later, the little carnivorous sheep arose from his nap and found himself quite hungry. The sheep staggered into the woods in search of his prey for the day. The deeper the sheep wandered into the woods, the more he realized that something was wrong today. The usually lively woods was completely dead. Nothing was around, not even a single cricket chirping. The baffled sheep looked up, looked all around, and found absolutely nothing when all of a sudden he heard a WHOOSH sound come out of nowhere.

A nearby landowner by the name of Joe had caught him in an unbreakable net. The cackling evil one came over with an evil grin on his face and chuckled as he circled around the helpless little one. "AHAHAHAHAHAHA. No longer shall you devour anything. No longer shall you devour these poor creatures. I shall strip you of all your devouring abilities. From here on out, you shall consume NOTHING!"

The poor sheep was as helpless as ever. The evil landowner had caged him into an unbreakable pen. The little sheep tried to gnaw his way out to no avail, only adding to the evil landowner's laughter.

Hours later, George went out to check on his beloved little sheep, but found it missing. As he went searching into the woods, he figured the sheep had left for greener pastures ahead. While he was a bit sad at first, he became instantly happier the moment he saw a cute little wolf following him on the way home. He figured he'd just let the little wolf roam on his farm, but he would soon find out that this little wolf wasn't just an ordinary little wolf...

***
God Bless
flamewheel
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
FREEAGLELAND26782 Posts
July 08 2010 02:21 GMT
#2
Fuck you Roffles!
Writerdamn, i was two days from retirement
Bobdowle
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United States53 Posts
July 08 2010 02:22 GMT
#3
Do the dance.
Carnivorous Sheep
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Baa?21245 Posts
July 08 2010 02:23 GMT
#4
D=
TranslatorBaa!
LosingID8
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
CA10831 Posts
July 08 2010 02:24 GMT
#5
hey there, just your friendly neighborhood landowner stopping by!
ModeratorResident K-POP Elitist
shieldbreak
Profile Joined February 2010
United States406 Posts
July 08 2010 02:24 GMT
#6
The story made no sense whatsoever but flamewheel's reaction made me laugh.
Many a sleepless nights were spent doing absolutely nothing.
LosingID8
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
CA10831 Posts
July 08 2010 02:24 GMT
#7
On July 08 2010 11:24 shieldbreak wrote:
The story made no sense whatsoever but flamewheel's reaction made me laugh.

actually it's more accurate than you'd think lol
ModeratorResident K-POP Elitist
flamewheel
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
FREEAGLELAND26782 Posts
July 08 2010 02:25 GMT
#8
On July 08 2010 11:24 LosingID8 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 08 2010 11:24 shieldbreak wrote:
The story made no sense whatsoever but flamewheel's reaction made me laugh.

actually it's more accurate than you'd think lol

Yeah oops I should probably not say anything.
Writerdamn, i was two days from retirement
Carnivorous Sheep
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Baa?21245 Posts
July 08 2010 02:25 GMT
#9
On July 08 2010 11:24 LosingID8 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 08 2010 11:24 shieldbreak wrote:
The story made no sense whatsoever but flamewheel's reaction made me laugh.

actually it's more accurate than you'd think lol


I WILL EAT YOU >__________<
TranslatorBaa!
Saechiis
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Netherlands4989 Posts
July 08 2010 02:25 GMT
#10
Almost as good as the time you shook your ass to that song ... do it! ^^
I think esports is pretty nice.
Z3kk
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
4099 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-07-08 02:27:48
July 08 2010 02:26 GMT
#11
I thought goats were supposed to be the ones that devoured anything and everything?

Sheep are pretty much docile :/

Edit: not to be pretending I'm super-smart or something, just common knowledge <____________< For the record, I detest people who say something they think sounds smart and then whip it out.
Failure is not falling down over and over again. Failure is refusing to get back up.
Harem
Profile Joined November 2007
United States11393 Posts
July 08 2010 02:26 GMT
#12
On July 08 2010 11:24 LosingID8 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 08 2010 11:24 shieldbreak wrote:
The story made no sense whatsoever but flamewheel's reaction made me laugh.

actually it's more accurate than you'd think lol

Indeed.

5/5 for title alone too.
Moderator。◕‿◕。
flamewheel
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
FREEAGLELAND26782 Posts
July 08 2010 02:28 GMT
#13
On July 08 2010 11:25 Carnivorous Sheep wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 08 2010 11:24 LosingID8 wrote:
On July 08 2010 11:24 shieldbreak wrote:
The story made no sense whatsoever but flamewheel's reaction made me laugh.

actually it's more accurate than you'd think lol


I WILL EAT YOU >__________<

Shut up drone!
Writerdamn, i was two days from retirement
sung_moon
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
United States10110 Posts
July 08 2010 02:28 GMT
#14
o god more roffs fanfics lol
Forever Young
Arite
Profile Joined April 2010
United States218 Posts
July 08 2010 02:28 GMT
#15
That's why it's a special sheep.
Megalisk
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
United States6095 Posts
July 08 2010 02:28 GMT
#16
Imagine if this time was spent dancing D:.

BOYCOTT ROFFLES BLOGS UNTIL HE DANCES!
Tear stained american saints and dirty guitar dreams across a universe of desert and blue sky , gas station coffee love letters and two dollar pistol kisses from thirty five dollar hotel room stationary .
Lightwip
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States5497 Posts
July 08 2010 02:30 GMT
#17
A vegetarian wolf?
If you are not Bisu, chances are I hate you.
Milkis
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
5003 Posts
July 08 2010 02:32 GMT
#18
lol
Saracen
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United States5139 Posts
July 08 2010 02:32 GMT
#19
On July 08 2010 11:25 Carnivorous Sheep wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 08 2010 11:24 LosingID8 wrote:
On July 08 2010 11:24 shieldbreak wrote:
The story made no sense whatsoever but flamewheel's reaction made me laugh.

actually it's more accurate than you'd think lol


I WILL EAT YOU >__________<

You are a drone. You cannot eat people. Silly.
Z3kk
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
4099 Posts
July 08 2010 02:32 GMT
#20
On July 08 2010 11:28 Megalisk wrote:
Imagine if this time was spent dancing D:.

BOYCOTT ROFFLES BLOGS UNTIL HE DANCES!


+1

I thought the strike and stuff was over because he submitted? :<
Failure is not falling down over and over again. Failure is refusing to get back up.
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