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I hate StarCraft

Blogs > dethrawr
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deth
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Australia1757 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-05-12 09:56:51
May 12 2010 09:56 GMT
#1
http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=124968

Goddamn StarCraft. What a terrible game. When I was a kid all the other boys were obsessed with it, but I managed to avoid playing it most of the time so I could do fun stuff like play basketball instead.

Now that I'm grown up, I somehow find myself having to play StarCraft every week, and I really dislike it. Everything moves around randomly, I can barely even remember who's supposed to be on my team and who isn't because there's no formation or anything, and my main goal is to avoid getting killed by the terran ball.

There's no strategy. Whenever you have units, you have 3 options:
1) push your opponent. This can be good if you're using the retarded flash style where a sieged tank is twice as good as a regular tank, but we usually just use the system where every tank does the same amount of damage. So, this is a bad idea.

2) charge forward and make a contain. This is the recommended strategy. For some reason it's legal to just run straight forward, and if anyone gets in your way you can just push them over. In fact, sometimes it even counts as a bad situation for the defender. If your units weigh a lot you'll have a big advantage.

3) Sit in your base and macro. This doesn't do anything, it just delays the game a bit, but at least it'll look like you're doing something and it makes you feel like you're part of a team, instead of just a bunch of 1 on 1 encounters.

speaking of 1 on 1 encounters, the "army on army" defense system pretty much guarantees that, if you're matched up with someone better than you, they're going to be kicking your ass over and over again, througout the entire game. No one can help you, you can't change strategy or anything, you're just going to get owned for 9 minutes. Have fun.

The best thing you can do to help your game is to be korean. Korean players have such a ridiculous advantage. They'll have the first chance to get all the units, and they always have better positioning. Trying to defend against someone more Korean than you is a waste of time- you can macro as much as you want and they'll just casually demolish you, not even noticing that you're trying to defend against them.

When are other people going to realize that this game sucks.

****
lIlIlIlIlIlI
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
Korea (South)3851 Posts
May 12 2010 09:59 GMT
#2
--- Nuked ---
DonkeyPunch
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Australia51 Posts
May 12 2010 10:00 GMT
#3
TBH Starcraft is THE best RTS. every game ive played all the units of each faction were basically the same just diff colour/look. Starcraft how ever ha completely difference units for each race all with great advantages and disadvananges that can be counterd.why i love this game
fast protoss laser ship thing rush - dicember
Reason
Profile Blog Joined June 2006
United Kingdom2770 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-05-12 10:13:25
May 12 2010 10:01 GMT
#4
^lol
Speak properly, and in as few words as you can, but always plainly; for the end of speech is not ostentation, but to be understood.
TheAntZ
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Israel6248 Posts
May 12 2010 10:08 GMT
#5
On May 12 2010 19:00 DonkeyPunch wrote:
TBH Starcraft is THE best RTS. every game ive played all the units of each faction were basically the same just diff colour/look. Starcraft how ever ha completely difference units for each race all with great advantages and disadvananges that can be counterd.why i love this game

43084 | Honeybadger: "So july, you're in the GSL finals. How do you feel?!" ~ July: "HUNGRY."
Atinho
Profile Joined July 2009
United States36 Posts
May 12 2010 10:08 GMT
#6
On May 12 2010 18:56 dethrawr wrote: When I was a kid all the other boys were obsessed with it, but I managed to avoid playing it most of the time so I could do fun stuff like play basketball instead.

buddy holy crap,this sounds soo wrong ;P
What if sombody with Tourrets could have turret syndrome and they just kept making turrets? Think about that.~Tasteless
LunarDestiny
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
United States4177 Posts
May 12 2010 10:08 GMT
#7
On May 12 2010 19:00 DonkeyPunch wrote:
TBH Starcraft is THE best RTS. every game ive played all the units of each faction were basically the same just diff colour/look. Starcraft how ever ha completely difference units for each race all with great advantages and disadvananges that can be counterd.why i love this game

Quoted.
Gyabo
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
United States329 Posts
May 12 2010 10:13 GMT
#8
Rofl, couldn't stop laughing, especially at the last paragraph
SilverSkyLark
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Philippines8437 Posts
May 12 2010 10:15 GMT
#9
I was gonna post "I saw what you did there" but meh, well played sir.
"If i lost an arm, I would play w3." -IntoTheWow || "Member of Hyuk Hyuk Hyuk cafe. He's the next Jaedong, baby!"
DonkeyPunch
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Australia51 Posts
May 12 2010 10:15 GMT
#10
On May 12 2010 19:13 Gyabo wrote:
Rofl, couldn't stop laughing, especially at the last paragraph

(Y)
fast protoss laser ship thing rush - dicember
HopLight
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Sweden999 Posts
May 12 2010 10:18 GMT
#11
Hahahaha, awesome!
Ozarugold
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
2716 Posts
May 12 2010 10:22 GMT
#12
Rofl~
this is my quote.
Garnet
Profile Blog Joined February 2006
Vietnam9031 Posts
May 12 2010 10:23 GMT
#13
I was expecting another "I hate Starcraft 2" blog but this is great.
lIlIlIlIlIlI
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
Korea (South)3851 Posts
May 12 2010 10:26 GMT
#14
--- Nuked ---
deL
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Australia5540 Posts
May 12 2010 10:29 GMT
#15
It's not witty he just likes basketball and wants to get back at this kid silly deth
Gaming videos for fun ~ http://www.youtube.com/user/WijLopenLos
deth
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Australia1757 Posts
May 12 2010 10:31 GMT
#16
On May 12 2010 19:29 deL wrote:
It's not witty he just likes basketball and wants to get back at this kid silly deth


Actually i hate basketball and i want to get back at this kid because I think that his post was retarded.
Tuke
Profile Joined January 2009
Finland1666 Posts
May 12 2010 10:38 GMT
#17
Some people did rate this less than 5/5, damn those
TeamLiquid CJ Entusman #42
Luddite
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
United States2315 Posts
May 12 2010 10:38 GMT
#18
hahaha oh my god you're so witty. You took my post and replaced all the basketball words with starcraft words. Too bad none of my complaints make sense in this context. For example, I guarantee that you were never constantly peer pressured to play on a starcraft despite being bad at it..
Can't believe I'm still here playing this same game
538
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Hungary3932 Posts
May 12 2010 10:44 GMT
#19
On May 12 2010 19:38 Luddite wrote:
hahaha oh my god you're so witty. You took my post and replaced all the basketball words with starcraft words. Too bad none of my complaints make sense in this context. For example, I guarantee that you were never constantly peer pressured to play on a starcraft despite being bad at it..

but... but... your complaints didnt make sense originally either!
BW fighting!
Luddite
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
United States2315 Posts
May 12 2010 10:46 GMT
#20
On May 12 2010 19:44 538 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 12 2010 19:38 Luddite wrote:
hahaha oh my god you're so witty. You took my post and replaced all the basketball words with starcraft words. Too bad none of my complaints make sense in this context. For example, I guarantee that you were never constantly peer pressured to play on a starcraft despite being bad at it..

but... but... your complaints didnt make sense originally either!

what are you talking about, I offered a perfectly objective summary of the game of basketball. That's exactly what it's like for 99% of people trying to play the game without any training.
Can't believe I'm still here playing this same game
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