EPTroflroflroflcopter! why on earth do i need this graph
anyway, I'm freaking out. This isn't a drunk blog, I'm all coked up (jk). I am not chemically altered at all right now. quite the opposite, my most powerful urges are sated and subdued. its just me. In lieu of this, I apologize in advance for the vulgarity and that I'll start making less sense as the blog goes on.
And I've been trying to write a book. A motherfucking book. I could go get boozed up every night but instead I sit in my room and kind of mindlessly look through websites. I am, and have been, exposed to so much media it's scary. I read somewhere that if you're told a statement 171 times, no matter how false, you will have some sentiment of a belief for it. There is SO MUCH information available at my fingertips I open my browser and click my same 3 links all the fucking time.
![[image loading]](http://cdn-www.cracked.com/phpimages/article/9/2/0/19920.jpg?v=1)
this picture has nothing to do with anything I'm saying and italicizing it makes you read it just because its italicized
To write my book, I have to find emotions inside myself or else I can't accept my writing. This led me to bust out this crazy lime green notepad and just write moments and events that embodied feelings I've had. It's amazing how much has happened, and how much I've forgot.
You ever realize how when you're a kid fuck
fuck FUCK
When you're a kid, you have your own view of the world. The way you filter things, your cognitive structure or whatever you call it...this gets distorted as we grow. It gets bombarded. Our society has never stopped growing more complex. The proliferation of technology has really, really fucked us all up the ass. You see what I wrote up there? I want genuine shit? Genuine emotion? I don't know if you've ever been out in the woods and actually had to fish/hunt for your food or else you'd starve. It's visceral, and you feel like a god damn badass
weird, isnt it. almost from birth we start to forget who we are.
All right. In your head, immediately, yes or no:
if I was there, I would go.
+ Show Spoiler +
Poll: what did you think immediately?
yes (12)
71%
no (5)
29%
17 total votes
no (5)
17 total votes
Your vote: what did you think immediately?
+ Show Spoiler +
i bet most of you thought yes. i believe no is the better answer
this is all beside the point. What I'm trying to communicate is the way we have developed is by taking situations, boiling them down to certain truths, and used those truths to craft our realities. You can walk up to any woman, and if you communicate the right things you can get laid very quickly. It is entirely possible
![[image loading]](http://img255.imageshack.us/img255/7281/sdany.jpg)
Now all of these truths end up in our subconscious. Some of them go through consciously, but the vast majority go straight to your subconscious. Now when you're given information that doesn't fit this reality, you can't process it. So I made a habit of believing everything I hear for a second even if its obviously bs. you have to try everything once.
I've got the worst god damn case of gamer chill right now.
![[image loading]](http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:PFqZfDewNJSnAM:http://diablo.onlinewelten.com/uploads/Artikelbilder/Deckard-Cain.jpg)
he's a BAMF
There are ideas, words, concepts that will affect your physiology. They have power. Our language is developed to represent a selection of these, but the revelations will come. Find a sound that has no meaning, turn it into a word. Keep it open, look for it, and the revelations will come. You have to accept it, or you won't see it. Great things have happened because men sat and carried it all inside their minds
I do this to stay open. I truly, truly strive to believe. But I know I'm not perfect. All the same, there is something disturbing at the root of everything. Not on an individual level, professors are cordial and parties are even fun sober. There is too much. There are so many things happening, so many patterns beneath patterns. They're the same patterns, but they also move forward. I can't articulate this in any language. they're in our society and they honest to god scare the shit out of me. Maybe I'm just a coward
it doesn't fit in my language, some aspects of my reality don't fit in with society at all. i function fine, but i seriously fucking feel like im crazy. where one thing stands, another stands by it. i haven't found it yet
where one thing stands, another stands by it
if there was one guy in the middle of the jungle and he was the last guy anywhere, he could be called human. but, is he really human? do you know how a movement is started?
I have faith in the ability of humans. I believe that we are far, far more capable than we give ourselves credit. Really, everything boils down to sensitivity and will. We don't honestly understand all the faculties we possess or how to hone them. Intrinsic abilities we have aren't developed when really we could all be doing all kinds of things we don't even believe
but I can't even express it here, what I'm trying to. i hope you sense a bit of it, if you've actually read this thing so far
what I really feel is that I don't trust my subconscious. I don't know how to open it up and look. I feel like every day it is betraying me, like there are a series of interrelated pressures all keeping the other pressures in line. I want to shove a freaking sword down there and release all that energy until I only have the ones which aren't pressures towards anything
At first, Dylan claimed to be shocked and appalled by the negative response to the double album, predominantly filled with cover songs that sounded more like outright parodies. However, in a 1985 Rolling Stone interview with Kurt Loder, he finally owned up to why he really wrote it: so that all those damned flower children would move on and find someone else to put on a pedestal. When Loder asked why he felt the need to make it "a double-album joke," Dylan pointed out that "if you're gonna put a lot of crap on it, you might as well load it up!"
he knew before he knew
i know it. America, the UK, the internet, the music industry, even the cosmos. just some. they're all slowly converging. There is so much evidence and information there, and nobody acknowledges it. we get so sucked up in things which don't matter. i call it suinya. I've felt something, related by a handshake, in the dune books. "The golden path" but for who, really?
after I defined it, i put it in google translator as すいんや and it popped out "S and water"
ive seen it as "to become water"
maybe our minds can't take it without training. maybe they just can't take it. we're adaptable to a point. to stand on the cusp is as close as we can get. pressure makes diamonds. everything is so unstable
i might just move to holland, forget about this, and live happily ever after. when I say might, I mean that's what I'm gonna do. I seriously think I started hallucinating, but I trust myself. I can't become objective, I just feel fear
